Your Gift

My Beautiful Girl,

I have given you the gift of eternal life, but My giving does not stop there. Inside of you is a supernatural surprise-a gift that is waiting to be unwrapped...by you. Yes, it's there. It's hidden behind dreams waiting to be pursued. Swallowed up by daily distractions and drowned by disappointment.

Let Me help you clear out the clutter and find your gift. You'll find it in that place in life that brings you the greatest joy, that place where your soul longs to be, that work your hands love to do. But this gift that I've given to you is not just for you. I have blessed you to be a blessing to others.

When you find your gift, I will take it and multiply it beyond what you could ever imagine. So ask Me, and I will help you open your gift so that you can give it away to the world-not to impress-but to bless.

Love,
Your King and the Giver of every good and perfect gift

~

"Each of you has been blessed with one of God's many wonderful gifts to be used in the service of others. So use your gift well."
~1 Peter 4:10~

---

from His Princess GirlTalk 

by Sheri Rose Shepherd
Read more at HisPrincess.com  

Filosofi Hiu Dalam Kehidupan

Akhir-akhir ini gw lagi penat dan jenuh banget. So many things going on in my mind and it's like I'm struggling each and every day. I forgot how it feels to take a rest and to slow down. Sometimes I feels like scream out loud, sometimes I just cried behind the closed door of the office toilet door, sometimes I woke up in the mids of the night with my heart beating so fast! When the cuteness of my enzo can't put a smile into my face. Can you imagine now how stress I am?

And I started to questioning God, and ask God.. Please stop it! Too many trial I feel. I need a break! And yesterday night, ketika gw lagi saat teduh dan mencatat satu dan suatu hal. Tiba-tiba gw menemukan artikel ini yang gw save di notes hape. Dan artikel ini seperti menampar-nampar gw and yet I feel so blessed knowing that God is always in control!

***

Untuk masakan Jepang, kita tahu bahwa ikan salmon akan lebih enak untuk dinikmati jika ikan tersebut masih dalam keadaan hidup saat hendak diolah untuk disajikan. Jauh lebih nikmat dibandingkan dengan ikan salmon yang sudah diawetkan dengan es. Itu sebabnya para nelayan selalu memasukkan salmon tangkapannya ke suatu kolam buatan agar dalam perjalanan menuju daratan salmon-salmon tersebut tetap hidup. Meski demikian pada kenyataannya banyak salmon yang mati di kolam buatan tersebut. Bagaimana cara mereka menyiasatinya?

Para nelayan itu memasukkan seekor hiu kecil dikolam tersebut. Ajaib! Hiu kecil tersebut "memaksa" salmon-salmon itu terus bergerak agar jangan, sampai dimangsa. Akibatnya jumlah salmon yang mati justru menjadi sangat sedikit!

Diam membuat kita mati! Bergerak membuat kita hidup! Apa yg membuat kita diam? Saat tidak ada masalah dlm hidup dan saat kita berada dalam zona nyaman. Situasi seperti ini kerap membuat kita terlena. Begitu terlenanya sehingga kita tidak sadar bahwa kita telah mati! Ironis, bukan? Apa yang membuat kita bergerak? Masalah. Pergumulan. Dan tekanan hidup. Saat masalah datang secara otomatis naluri kita membuat kita bergerak aktif dan berusaha mengatasi semua pergumulan hidup itu.

Disaat saat seperti itu biasanya kita akan ingat Tuhan dan berharap kepada Tuhan. Tidak hanya itu, kita menjadi kreatif, dan potensi diri kitapun menjadi berkembang luar biasa. Ingatlah bahwa kita akan bisa belajar banyak dalam hidup ini bukan pada saat keadaan nyaman, tapi justru pada saat kita menghadapi badai hidup. Itu sebabnya syukurilah "hiu kecil" yg terus memaksa kita utk bergerak dan tetap survive. Masalah hidup adalah baik, karena itulah yang membuat kita terus bergerak. Mungkin hiu-hiu kecil itu bisa berbentuk siapa saja dan apa saja dalam hidup kita.

***

Well, I think it is well said and no further explanation needed. Lalu gw teringat akan kata-kata kakak rohani gw dulu, selalu minta Tuhan untuk shake your comfort zone. Karena disaat itulah kamu akan benar-benar merasakan kasih Tuhan dan sadar bahwa Dia'lah tempat berharap. We are a warrior not a worrier. Be blessed!

Melamar Kerja Di Axioo

Hari ini genap seminggu sudah saya melamar kerja di Axioo. Well, gw udah pernah cerita kan ya kalo gw itu pengen banget kerja di sono, its my dream job. Bukan karena pride and prestige mereka big and leading wedding photography company. Tapi karena gw suka aja liat-liat style foto mereka, color scheme, style mereka, juga blog mereka tuh isinya sangat inspiratif.

Minggu lalu pas gw lagi main hape, browsing fb dari hape. News dari axioo muncul di timeline gw. Kalo mereka lagi mencari client relation officer. Kerjanya setangkep gw sih ya dealing sama client, harus detail oriented, fluent in speaking and writing english, terus juga punya background art. Nah gw langsung DENG!! This is something that I like and I capable of! Gw udah gak mau lagi kan terjun berkutat di design house as graphic designer. I wanna try something new, and I love to meet new people. Beside that, job desc ini memerlukan seseorang dengan background art and I have it. So gw kepikiran banget!!

Not that I don't love my current job, I thank God for it and I praise God for His goodness karena lingkungan kerja gw oke, bos gw baik, dan deket juga dari rumah. Tapi gw merasa lama-lama bisa jadi my comfort zone. Some more, I love anything related to wedding thingy. Remember about paperonie? I love to see sweet things and make things sweet, and when there's love I can't wait to talk about it! Dan kerjaan gw yang sekarang itu gak ada hubungan dengan art sama sekali.

So gw kepikiran banget untuk langsung apply. BUT I'm scared, why? Karena gw uda sering melamar di Axioo. Well, terhitung kayanya udah 2x deh. Pertama kali pas gw baru lulus banget, taon 2010. Waktu itu gw uda planning mo kerja di Singapore emank, tapi gw iseng aja sent CV ke axioo dan gak ada kabar. Gw gak sedih sih, toh gw emank cuma iseng-iseng berhadiah kan haha. Yang kedua itu gw ngelamar pas akhir taon 2011, setelah  gw forgood dari Singapore ke Indo. Baca ceritanya disini dan disini. Yang kedua kali itu gw ditawarin jadi graphic designer, terus gw gak gitu niat sih. Jadi pas di test, gw juga seadanya aja dan gak ada kabar lagi sih.

Dan gw jadi takut banget, kalo gw apply lagi.. apa gak malu yah? Kan uda beberapa kali apply dan gw takut ditolak lagi juga. Huhuhu. Dan banyak ketakutan-ketakutan lainnya. Terus gw cerita ke beberapa my close friends. Dan respon mereka give me an insight banget. Thank God for surround me with good friend :D

Ya sudah, gw memberenikan diri untuk apply. Mau diterima ya thank God, gak diterima ya udah Praise God. Yang penting saya melakukan bagian saya, sisanya terserah Tuhan. Gw apply dan berserah. Dan gw suka banget sama jawaban temen gw satu ini:

Jawabannya membuka mata gw banget, "kaya Petrus abis nebar jala ke kanan, Yesus suruh tebar jala lagi dengan kapal dan jaring yang sama. Cuma karena Petrus taat, walaupun caranya sama, tempatnya sama, dan semuanya sama, tapi karena itu perintah Tuhan, hasilnya bisa beda."

Weits, bener banget yah. Karena perintah Tuhan, walaupun cara, tempat dan semua sama hasilnya bisa berbeda kalau kita taat. I don't know, axioo itu kehendak Tuhan apa bukan. Tapi karena that's my dream job, I give a shoot. Eventho I may not get a job, but one thing I learn. God will always give the best. Dan gw bener-bener belajar yang namanya berserah! Gw uda apply di axioo, dan sudah seminggu tidak ada kabar. Kadang temptation banget buat gw, setiap kali mau berdoa "Tuhannnn semoga ani keterima di axioo" -- dan seketika itu juga gw seperti tersadar dan... "Tuhan, Kau tau kerinduanku kerja di axioo. But let Your will be done in my life. Let Your dreams be mine. Amen."

Sebelum apply axioo, gw sempet doa, puasa dan bergumul selama 2hari untuk netralin feeling gw. Perasaan berharap yang sangat tinggi, takut kecewa, gimana berserah dan percaya sepenuhnya. Whatever it is I thank God kalo lewat axioo ini gw banyak diproses! Dan satu lagi, gw belajar untuk never quit and always chasing my dream! Gw percaya gak ada yang namanya kebetulan, karena pas saat itu temen gw ada yang update profile picture bbm dengan gambar ini:

Courtesy of Deeplifequotes

So, jangan pernah menyerah ya in chasing your dreams :) Keep on trying and believing! Never give up, never quit. But don't stress! God is always in perfect control.

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1 

Is He Still Godly Man?

I have received one interesting question from my silent reader, I guess. Because she refused to mentioned her name and leave it anonymous. Usually I neglect anybody who comments on my blog using anonymous. I just feel, why don't you just leave your name and let me know more about you? Some of them leave such an encouraging comments. Hey, why leave such a beautiful words and leave no name?! I want to know my readers and I will not bite you anyway. Such a great feeling to know that someone regularly read my post and I love to make new friends :D So I wish after reading this post, whoever anonymous next time please leave comment with your name.

Alright back to the topic, here is the question that she asked on my previous post "Semua cowo sama"

I knew a guy..dia takut akan Tuhan..tapi dia mendekati teman baiknya yang sudah berpasangan..bahkan menyuarakan perasaannya yaitu suka dan cinta kepada teman baiknya yang sudah berpasangan karena pasangan teman baiknya itu di anggap rusak dan sebagainya, saat pasangan tersebut putus dia langsung mengambil kesempatan itu...is he still Godly man?

An Interesting question isn't it? Thanks for leaving such a question! Firstly I thought to reply right away after your comments, then I realize it become too long so I decided to post here :) I will try to answer the question and I hope it will give you an insight and not confuse you. And any opinions, feedback and suggestions are more than welcome. Let's discuss! :D

***

Dear anonymous, 

Well, I cant say much whether is he still godly man? Because we can't judge people only based on one action he did, rite? 

Maybe you may check, when he confessed his feeling to you, did he take any action to chasing you? Tho he know that you are in relationship already. If yes, then personally for me, its not wise. Knowing that someone you sympathy of already in relationship yet you still chasing over them. 

However, no one is perfect and you know hard it is to guard your heart and control the feeling. Moreover, love is one the greatest feeling above all. I know that it's not wise to judge someone by his past but it is good to consider his past when he offer you something. But people do change, and once we make Jesus the center of our life, everything change. Really change. For better. We often heard that Christian is not about religion but its about lifestyle. Then you may know is he really a man after God's own heart by his action, his words, and the decision that he make will always based on God's will. Counsel to your parents, kakak rohani, bestfriend, and most of all ask wisdom from God. As with all matters of the heart, you will know when you find the answer. 

If now, you want to consider him as your future spouse then in my opinion is.. you need to forgive him for whatever he did in the past. Knowing that he ever did it to you, no doubt you may have the feeling/ thinking that he will do the same thing to other girl (confessing his feeling to some boy's gf). Before start the relationship with him, you must have the confidence and secure enough that he is a man that you can follow, a man that know no compromise when it comes to the word of God. 

One thing to remember, forgiveness is a promise not a feeling. A promise that you will never use his past sins against him :)

Guys, It Matters Whom You Marry, Too

Just as a woman must think carefully about a potential husband, you must be careful about a potential wife. Careful evaluation in a number of areas will save you a lifetime of frustration. Right now, you might think she’s pretty, or playful, or nice to you. It’s not enough. One pregnancy can alter a figure, responsibilities at home can reveal laziness, and a disagreement about money can turn her against you. The church in North America has many men who are hampered in their abilities and success because they were distracted by a pretty face who now seems to bring more trouble than bliss.

Just as a girl can’t imagine how much of an impact a husband will have on her unless an older woman is very frank with her, so you can’t imagine how that attractive girl you know could impact your life unless someone is very frank with you. Marriage will impact nearly every area of your life. Ready?

1. It will impact your spiritual life. 

If the girl is not a believer, drop her now. You have no right to yoke yourself with someone who is not a believer, and a responsibility to obey Scripture’s clear and good direction in this (2 Cor. 6:14). Dating is for marriage, not evangelism. Some guys think it’s unkind, or unfair to break up with a girl just because she’s not a Christian. The reality from God’s perspective is that it was unkind and unfair to start the wrong relationship with her in the first place. So are you going to falsely “be nice”, or are you going to be true to her by being obedient to your God? Be honest with her that you have failed in walking in God’s ways, failed in showing that the gospel, new life in communion with Christ, is foundational to Christian marriage–and as such foundational to a dating relationship. Ask godly women in the church to befriend her and to minister God’s Word to her soul. What should you do? Pray. Keep her at arms length. No dates. Stay away without a hint of any promise of anything future, until other mature Christians are convinced that she is genuinely transformed–and not just professing faith for a relationship with you.

If she is a believer, is she growing, or stagnant? Does she love God and commune with him on her own? Is she eager to learn from his Word, or more excited about shopping and friends? Is she by grace faithful to God and you now, or is she promiscuous with her emotions and body towards other men? Will she support and encourage your initiative in leading family worship, or will she hinder it? Is she the type who is going to be up and getting the kids ready for worship on Sunday morning, or will you be struggling to get everyone in the car on time? Few of us men are capable of getting small children fed, dressed, and buckled into car seats by mid-morning without help, though God can grant grace in exceptional circumstances. Just because you are the man, just because you are the leader in the relationship doesn’t mean that you will be able to pull her along in sanctification. She will either be a drag on your holiness, or a catalyst, a sweet encouragement for your personal, spiritual development. That will also be true for any future children.

Think long and hard. Pray. Get counsel from wise men with great marriages.

2. It will impact your service in the church. 
Is the girl that you’re thinking of excited about your involvement in the local church? Is she going to encourage you to serve the congregation with your gifts, or is she going to complain that you’re not helping her do laundry instead? Is she going to free you up to build up the body of Christ in whatever ways you can, or is she going to make it the last priority? Is she going to be a Priscilla (Acts 18) or a Michal (I Sam 6:16-20)? If you think that this will be an issue, look elsewhere for a helpmeet – you will have to answer to God for picking a woman who prevents you from serving Christ in his church.

This is especially important to think about if you are considering any sort of formal ministry. Far too many pastors are hindered in their work because of wives who take advantage of flexible work hours and a willingness to help–a characteristic of many ministry-minded men. These wives cripple the church. Their husbands are doing routine laundry instead of hospital visitation, ordinary child care instead of sermon preparation, and pampering their wives instead of shepherding souls. I review a lot of recommendations for students applying to seminaries. Increasingly, good churches realize that not only the student, but also his wife needs to be evaluated in her role as wife and mother. Ordinary, faithful men shine with a steady, loving and wise, supportive wife. While your wife can’t qualify you for pastoral ministry, she can most certainly disqualify you.

Tread carefully.

3. It will impact your reputation. 
Do you know what your girlfriend says about you to her friends? Her mother? Her facebook and twitter world? My wife was once visiting with a woman who repeatedly belittled her husband, not as an evil man, not as a bad father, but as an inept goof. It was this woman’s habit to talk this way, and it made people disrespect her husband. While it is your responsibility to behave in a respectable way, it is your wife’s responsibility to speak of you in a way that preserves and builds up your reputation, instead of revealing your shortcomings and faults to the world. The Proverbs 31 woman behaved and spoke in a way that enable her husband to trust her fully (v. 11). She did him good, not harm, all the days of her life (v. 12), partly with her words.

That does not mean that a wife should be hiding their husband’s serious patterns of sin from pastors or other people who need to know, but that they must be very careful to speak respectfully wherever possible about their husbands. Will the girl you are with build up your reputation or tear it down? Will she teach the children to respect you, or will your own family think little of you? Will she broadcast every failure that you have, or will she, in love, hide them from the world and help you fight them in private?

What will your wife do for your reputation?

4. It will impact your work life and finances. 

God created Eve to be a help suitable for Adam – a helpmeet. She is a pattern for all other wives. Is your girlfriend excited about the work you do, or does she not care? Is she able to help you where possible, or does she not want to be involved? The sort of work a wife/ helpmeet does depends on her husband’s calling, but it should always be there.

We know so many examples:
a husband who lays flooring and goes through the knees of his pants has a wife who loves beautiful floors and keeps him supplied with new work clothes. A husband who is an accountant and works long hours every tax season has a wife who keeps dinner hot for him and has the kids in bed when he gets home. A minister who faces spiritual opposition in the congregation has a wife who listens and encourages. A small town doctor has a wife who figures out how to get bodily fluids out of scrubs. And we also know men whose wives hate their work, and frustrate their husbands in their callings. It’s a huge burden to the men, stunting them in their careers and the use of their gifts. Can your girlfriend help you? Does she want to?

What will she do with the money that you earn through your work? Go shopping all the time, or wisely budget? Will she ask your advice about financial decisions, or make big changes without considering you? Will she be reckless with money, or enable you to live within your means? Is she greedy, or eager to give sacrificially to the work of the church? Is she looking for ways to get extra money, or finding ways to bless others in need with what you have?

Think: this relationship has the potential to ruin you or free you.

5. It will impact your other relationships. 

Courtesy of Cameroningalls

What does your mother think of your girlfriend? Does she think that this woman will take care of her son? Be a good mother? Does your girlfriend respect your parents? Is she happy to have them as grandparents for your children? Will your girlfriend’s parents dominate your marriage? Will they dictate “advice” or allow you to be the head of your own household? You do have to leave your father and mother and cleave to your wife, but you still need to consider what effect they will have on your marriage, because they will have one, for better or for worse.


What about your male friends and mentors? Will the girl that you have in mind encourage you to be accountable to older godly men, or will she not care, and complain about privacy? Will she suggest that you call up your brother once in a while and see how he’s doing, or will she whine that you’re not spending time with her? Will she be happy on occasion to put the kids to bed alone so you can visit with a friend, or will you not have that opportunity?

Make a wise choice, not a foolish one.

Courtesy of Cameroningalls

6. It will impact your health. 
Scripture gives us so many warnings about nagging, pestering, quick tempered wives (Gen. 30:1-2; Prov. 21:9, 19; 25:24). Men married to women like these are willing to live on a roof in order to have some mental peace. Will the girl you are with be careful to not pester and nag, and mentally wear you down, or will she prevent frustration where she can by expressing her opinion and being content with your leadership? Is she going to respect you and tell you so, or will she treat you like one of the kids?

Is she going to encourage you to exercise and prepare decent food for you to help you maintain your physical health? Or will she complain about the time and effort that it takes?

Is she going to be available, within reason, sexually, or will she use her body as a tool of manipulation to get you to do what she wants? Is she going to be grudgingly approach the marriage bed, or will she treat it as a good gift that God has given the two of you to enjoy, as an expression of love and delight?

Heed Scripture’s warnings here.

So how will your girlfriend do after the vows? Because this is just a sampling of the ways that a wife can bless or curse her husband. The effects are far reaching, long lasting, and either wonderful or difficult. Of course, there is no perfect woman. But there are amazing ones. And it’s better to be single for life than to marry someone who will make your life a burden. Singleness can be great – I was married late and experienced some blessed years of bachelorhood. Marriage to the wrong person is a nightmare. I know men whose careers, families, personal development and even congregations have been destroyed by their wives. It’s heartbreaking and messy, especially for the husband. Don’t be so easy going about your choice of wife that your marriage is a grief. If you are in an unhappy marriage, there are ways to get help. But if you’re not married, don’t put yourself in a bad situation when it is 100% avoidable. Don’t marry someone who can’t follow your leadership. Don’t marry someone who is not seeking to love Christ as you seek to love her as Christ loved the church. Marry someone who knows and demonstrates the love of Christ.

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Photo courtesy of Jose Villa and Cameroningalls

Girls, It Matters Whom You Marry

My husband and I were once with a youth group. There were three kids sitting across from us at a meal: two guys and a girl. The one guy was a computer geek with glasses. The other one was a college student with slightly cooler hair and no glasses. The girl was obviously with him. But while the computer geek was busy serving everyone at the meal, clearing plates and garbage, the college student got angry with the girl for a small accident and poured red juice over her leather jacket and white shirt. She picked the wrong guy, and the juice didn’t seem to change her mind. She is in for some grief if that relationship continues and especially if it leads to marriage.

So to all the young, unmarried Christian girls out there, listen up: who you marry matters. You might think that the way he treats you isn’t so bad. It’s not going to get better after the wedding. You might think that he’ll change. It’s possible, but most don’t. You might think that you’ll be able to minister to him and help him. Possibly, but if you can’t now, you won’t then, and you will be at risk yourself. A husband should lead and cherish you, not need your counsel for basic personality or behavior issues.

Unless someone married is very frank with you, you can’t understand how much a husband will impact your entire life. Next to salvation there is no other long term event that will change so many areas of your life so deeply. Here are just some of the ways that marriage will impact every aspect of living.

1. It will impact you spiritually. 
If the guy is not a believer, you can stop right there. You have no business yoking a redeemed soul with an unregenerate one, even if he seems open to change. Christ has bought you with a price and it is not an option to give away that blood bought heart to someone who doesn’t know and love your Lord. It will cripple your spiritual development, open up a host of temptations, stifle your prayer life, make regular church going difficult, and cause massive parenting conflict if you have children.

If the guy is a believer, is he a strong one? Will he lead you in prayer, Bible reading, family devotions, and public worship? Or will you be on your own? Is he going to make spiritual growth a priority or do other things come first? Is he going to ask you how it’s going with your soul so he can help you grow in holiness and love for Christ, or will he leave that to your pastor? Is he going to lead the children in this, or will you have to spearhead that? In church, is he going to help the kids sit well, pray, find the hymn, or will you be the one pointing out what is happening next and helping the family keep up? Many women have married spiritually immature men, thinking that it wasn’t a big issue, or that the man would change, and they were wrong. They bear the scars.

The health of your eternity is at stake. Think carefully.

2. It will impact you emotionally. 
Is the guy you’re thinking of going to encourage you, love you, be kind to you, and seek to understand you, or will he want to go out with the guys when you’re having a hard night? Will he listen when you are struggling with something or will he be preoccupied with a video game? Is he going to be annoyed when you cry or will he get you Kleenex and give you a hug? Is he going to understand that you are probably more tender than he is, more sensitive to issues and comments, or is he regularly going to run rough shod over your feelings? One woman was struggling to breastfeed her new baby, believing that that was the best thing for her, but it was very difficult. Instead of giving support and encouragement, the husband would make mooing sounds whenever he saw his wife working at it. We have to get rid of princess complexes, but we do have emotional needs. Any guy who is uncaring about your feelings and self esteem is selfish and should be left alone.

Be careful – a husband can cripple or foster emotional health.

3. It will impact you physically.
Is the guy you’re with going to provide for your basic needs? Will he be able to shelter, clothe and feed you? At one point in our marriage, I was worried that there was no employment opportunity. My husband assured me that he would work at McDonalds, dig ditches, clean up roadkill – whatever it took to provide for the family, regardless of his gifts and training. That’s the kind of attitude you want. A man who doesn’t provide for his household is worse than an infidel (I Tim. 5:8). You might have to help ease the financial burden, but unless your husband is disabled or there is another unusual circumstance, you shouldn’t have to carry it yourself.

Will the man you are with care for your body or abuse it? If he gives you little smacks, kicks, etc. when you’re dating, get away. It’s almost guaranteed that he will abuse you after marriage, and stats show that’s especially true when you are pregnant. Is he going to care for and protect your body or will he hurt it? There are women in churches across America who thought it was no big deal to have little (sort of friendly) punches or slaps from their boyfriends, but who are covering up the bruises from their husbands.

Will the man you are with care for you sexually? Is he going to honour the marriage bed in physical and mental faithfulness to you or will he flirt, feed his porn addiction, or even leave you for another woman? You can’t always predict these issues, but if the seeds or practices are already there, watch out. I recently saw a newly married couple and the husband was flirting openly with another woman. Unless something drastic happens, that marriage is headed for disaster.

Is he going to be tender and gentle to you in bed? An unbelieving co-worker once told my sister that after her first sexual encounter, she had trouble walking for a few days because her boyfriend was so rough. In other words, he wasn’t selfless enough to care for the body of the woman he said he loved.

Watch out. Your body needs care and protection.

4. It will impact you mentally. 
Is the man that you’re thinking of going to be a source of worry or will he help you deal with your worries? Is he going to encourage your intellectual development, or will he neglect it? Is he going to value your opinions and listen to what you are thinking, or will he disregard your thoughts? Is he going to help you manage stress so that your mind is not burdened that way, or is he going to let you struggle through issues alone? Is he going to care for you and be thoughtful of you if you are experiencing mental strain, or will he ignore it? I know of a woman who could handle pregnancy and child birth very well physically but postpartum depression took a huge toll on her mind. The husband overlooked it, continuing to have more children, until his wife ended up in a mental institution.

You might think that the intellectual or mental side of a marriage is small. It’s bigger than you think. Consider it seriously.

5. It will impact you relationally. 
How’s your relationship with your mother? Your dad? Do you love them? Does your boyfriend? Fast forward ten years: you tell your husband that your mother is coming for the weekend. Is he excited? Disappointed? Angry? Making snide jokes with his friends? Of course, a husband should come first in your priority of relationships, as you both leave father and mother and cleave to one another. But parents are still a big part of the picture. Whatever negative feelings he has about your parents now will probably be amplified after marriage. Your marriage will either strengthen or damage – even destroy – your relationship with your parents. The people who know you best and love you most right now could be cut out of the picture by a husband who hates them.

It’s the same with sisters and friends. Will they be welcomed, at reasonable times, in your home? Will the guy who you’re with encourage healthy relationships with other women, or will he be jealous of normal, biblical friendships? Will he help you mentor younger women and be thankful when older women mentor you, or will he belittle that?

Don’t sacrifice many good relationships for the sake of one guy who can’t value the people who love you.

So how will your boyfriend do after the vows? Because this is just a sampling of the ways that a husband can bless or curse his wife. The effects are far reaching, long lasting, and either wonderful or difficult. True, there are no perfect men out there. But there are great ones. And it’s better to be single for life than to marry someone who will make your life a burden. Singleness can be great. Marriage to the wrong person is a nightmare. I’ve been in a church parking lot where the pastor had to call the police to protect a wife from a husband who was trying to stop her from worshiping and being with her family. It’s ugly. Don’t be so desperate to get married that your marriage is a grief. If you are in an unhappy marriage, there are ways to get help. But if you’re not married, don’t put yourself in that situation. Don’t marry someone whose leadership you can’t follow. Don’t marry someone who is not seeking to love you as Christ loved the church. Marry someone who knows and demonstrates the love of Christ.

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Photo courtesy of Jose Villa

It's In The Little Things

Here’s a little thought for all the guys and girls out there on this bright Tuesday afternoon. Did you know that guys have a tendency to hunt? Well, we do. It’s an instinct that stems way back from the old days of our cavemen ancestors. They hunt to survive, and it’s a little part of nature that we guys have been born with. While we hunt for a living every day of our lives, we also leave some room to go after the object of our eyes. We concentrate, we focus, we direct all efforts to catch the prey.

That’s no wonder that when we are chasing after a girl, we dedicate 100% of our attention to her. We do our best to get her attention. We think of 1001 ideas to make her day. We call her up, we listen to her stories, buy her coffee, get to know her girlfriends and try hard to impress them. We make every next meeting look like coincidence, when actually we have worked very hard to make it happen. We pick her up, open the door for her, and send her back after every date. And flowers? Yes, the local florist knows are names and numbers by heart. We buy her gifts, we throw her surprises… you name it, we’ll do it. Anything to eventually win her heart.

I’ve seen it times and again. Guys are excellent hunters. More often than not, he will win the object of his affections. Now, on the flip side, the girl in question must feel like she’s the happiest girl on earth. She found the PERFECT guy who understands her, who makes her feel extra special. She found her dream guy. The hunter is the perfect man! But who is left after hunting season is over? The hunter has moved on to other hunting targets – like a career maybe – where he will dedicate another 100% into the hunt, yet again.

Is there something wrong here? Maybe not. Maybe that’s just how we naturally operate. But can something be done about it? Of course it can. So, here’s a little tip for all the hunters out there: the prey may be in your hands today, but lose your focus, and it’ll slip away. Don’t forget that as much as we enjoy the chase, our lady counterparts also enjoy being chased, daily regardless of how long you’ve been together. It won’t be easy, I know (I’ve actually been there…) but if it’s what will keep our relationship strong, guys, we’ve got to do our part! A strong relationship, that’s what we should always hunt for. Not with many different persons, but with the same woman, over and over again.

Written by David Soong
Pictures courtesy of Axioo and Re-post from here.

The Power of Your Prayers

The Power of Prayers, well.. I do believe that prayer changes things.. Yet, sometimes I just feel so tired to read my bible, have quiet time with God and say a simple prayer. Yessss, even tho just a simple prayer, sometimes it took all my energy and effort just to sit down and pray!! So when I come to God, I have given to Him only the remnants of my time.. sometimes.. :(  I do struggle. How about you?

The traffic has consume lots of my time. And the business of work, just took so much of my thought! Hectic day is every day and all I wanna do after I reach home is.. sleep! Frankly to say, I know the importance of having a prayer life and I still trying my best to give God the best.. But sometimes, the temptation to just sleep is too good to be true..

CLING. My phone ring, sounds that I received an email. Weekly devotional email from HisPrincess. I loveeeeeee this ministries so much.. I love the way Sheri Rose, the author style of writing. I love every sweet little things :) And here I copy for you what the weekly devotional talk about.. When I read it, this article is another how God truly meet what I need at the right time. 

My Prayer Warrior,

You have My full attention when you call My name. Don't ever underestimate the power of your prayers my princess warrior. I want you to confidently call on heaven, that you may see my mighty hand move on earth.

Your words spoken in someone's dark hour will move My Spirit to light their path. Your prayer for someone who is lonely will usher in my comfort. Your prayer for protection over someone in danger will send my angels to their aid. There is an invisible war around you and your prayers are the evidence of my power at work in the world.

One day, on the other side of eternity, you will see how your prayers affected and protected many lives while you lived.

Love,
Your God who loves when you pray

"Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land."

2Chronicles7:14 (NLT)

Courtesy of JoseVilla

Geez.. Prayer not only changes things, prayer changes us, changes the life of people whom we prayed for!  The power of your prayer will light someone's dark hour. The power of your prayer will give comfort and protection. The power of your prayer will turns the world around. So let's pray, despite all the tiredness and hectic day. Do not only pray to God because we need an answer, but seek Him because we truly know that He is the only we need. Jesus You are the cup that won't run dry :) Semangat!!

Pretty Little Things

Teh botol sosro
Apapun makanannya, minumnya teh botol sosro.. Haha, siapa yang familiar dengan iklan ini? Saya salah satu penggemar teh botol :P Tapi sekarang udah banyak yah minuman lainnya yang rasanya hampir sama, teh kotak, fresh tea, apa tea lagi? Tapi tetep lah saya paling suka teh botol, apalagi setelah hectic day :P

Well, kemaren itu sore-sore mo ke rumah temen, gw lewatin jalan pintas kecil. Jadi inget flash back ke masa rok putih-biru haha.. Dulu gw ma temen gw berlima kita sering pulang jalan kaki dari sekolah ke rumah. Sekolah kita beda komplek doank, jadi kalo jalan kaki 30mins mpe 1jam sampe lah apalagi sambil ngobrol-ngobrol sama temen mah gak berasa. We have known each other since kindergarten, and as we grow older we don't lose friends, we only discover who's the real one. Through them I found the meaning of true friend, and we become best friends ever since :D

Courtesy of  Jose Villa

Nah suatu hari di sore menjelang petang *cieilah* kita pulang jalan kaki juga, terus ada abang-abang gerobak jual minuman. Temen gw beliin kita minuman gitu di plastikin hehe. Dia kasih deh tuh plastik ke kita ber4, tapi pas gw mau ambil salah satunya, temen gw bilang "punya lu yang ini nie." Terus gw sempet bingung juga kenapa manknya? Warnanya sama semua teh gitu. Terus dia bilang lagi, "lu suka teh botol kan, yang ini yang the botol. Lainnya fresh tea." Dan gw langsung awwwwww haha how blessed I am to have her :) We have been go through ups and downs in our journey as best friends, lots of precious gift, home made delicious food, sincere prayer and never ending support that my girls have given to me.. Yet this simple act of kindness always left foot prints in my heart.

Troches
Gw sering banget sakit tenggorokan, ga tau deh kenapa pokoknya hampir tiap 2bulan sekali pasti amandel gw bengkak. No doubt gw suka banget gorengan, pedes-pedes, nyemil permen haha :P
Jadi menjelang tenggorokan udah gak enak, gw uda siap sedia untuk troches selalu ada di tas gw. HAHA

Nah hari Selasa malem itu lagi ada leaders gathering di gereja gw. Kaya kebaktian gitu deh, gw duduk sama temen-temen terus gw keluarin bungkusan troches gw dari tas.. trochesnya dari 10 strap sisa 4biji dalam satu hari! Jangan ditiru ya teman-teman >.< Lalu temen yang duduk sebelah gw ini minta trochesnya, ya udah gw kasih.

Ketika makanin troches gw gak pernah buang semua bungkusannya, cuma gw robek gitu aja terus masukin lagi ke dalem tas, pas udah abis semua baru gw buang sekalian. Ehh pas balik ke gw, trochesnya itu sisa 3 kan. Trochesnya itu balik dengan keadaan sangat rapih, bungkusan-bungkusan kosong yang udah gak ada isinya itu temen gw robekin dan dya simpen buat dya buang. Wew.. I'm touched.

***

I don't know how about you, but for me.. pretty little things means everything. It's usually the little things that always make me fall the hardest. Sometimes, the most ordinary things could be made extraordinary simply by doing them with the right person. 

How many of us underestimate the power of simple touch, simple gift, a smile, and sincerely thank you? I vividly remember on one tiring day after office hour and my body doesn't feel delicious at all, there passed by a little boy that drop his ball near me. I help him took the ball and gave it back to him. He whispered simple thank you with his ear-to-ear smile and I could tell you that his smile brighten up my day :) You know, this kind act of love will never go wrong.

I truly believe that little things can make the biggest difference. Sadly, sometimes the little things go unnoticed because we only focus on the big things and we are too busy with what life might bring. Hey, in the end of life what matter the most is about how many life we touch, isn't it?

Robert Brault ever said, enjoy the little things in life.. for one day you’ll look back and realise they were the big things. Take a break, take a rest. Slow down. Take a walk and take a time to smell at the rose. Let's do the little things with as much awareness and effort as possible, and the bigger issues will surely follow :)

Never get tired of doing little things for others. Sometimes, those little things occupy the biggest part of their hearts. -Unknown

Visiting Mawar Sharon Pusat, Surabaya

Di postingan sebelon-sebelonnya gw udah pernah jelasin kan ya kalo gw bergereja di Gereja Mawar Sharon. Kemaren ini Jumat, 5Oktober sampe hari Minggu, 7Oktober gw ada mission trip ke Surabaya. Jadi ceritanya dari GMS Favor, Jakarta team Praise and Worship (PAW) diundang untuk melayani di GMS Pusat, Surabaya. Terus yang diluar PAW boleh ikut juga untuk jalan-jalan dan kasi dukungan support juga. 

Tadinya gw udah males ikut gitu, pengen pergi sih liat GMS pusat gimana. Tapi dipikir-pikir lagi October gw ini full banget! 

19-21Okotber: ke Singapore, weddingnya Ci Erlyn yeay!!

25-27Oktober: leader camp ke Ciawi

Nah kalo gw pergi lagi ke Surabaya, berarti di bulan Oktober ini gw cuma free satu minggu which is 13-14Oktober doank. Gw bisa diomelin bokap gw, anak cewenya gak pernah di rumah selama weekend! Eh, bener aja, gw minta ijin ke Surabaya ma bokap terus gak dikasih tuh >.< 

Temen-temen yang pada ikud ke Sby, uda pada ajakin terusss. Gw juga jadi penasaran gitu pengen pergi haha, singkat cerita gw doa ma Tuhan. Tuhan kalo mank Tuhan mau ani pergi, ijinin dari si papa donk. Eh, bener aja.. langsung bo.. gw doa jam 11an gitu, pas lunch time bokap gw PING!! gw berkali-kali bilang kalo gw boleh pergi. Gw tanya kan, heh? why so sudden? Jawabannya cuma: Because I luv you. LOH?! Haha.. 

Ya udah deh gw pergi jadinya ke Surabaya, jalan-jalan ke Malang juga ke Jatim theme park 2, udah gitu ke Bukit Doa Imanuel (BDI). Lumayanlah refreshing! Makan banyakkkk keke. Terus juga ternyata yang pergi ke Surabaya itu total ada 10orang diluar tim PAW, dan 4diantaranya (termasuk gw) adalah tim make up. Wew, gak ada yang kebetulan yah.. Jadinya kita satu tim semua pergi ke Surbaya gitu dan bantu make'up disono :) Jadi kalo di GMS itu, sebelom naek ke panggung harus di make'up, hair do, pokoknya bener-bener prepare to give the best inside and outside, all out! Terus sempet pusing juga, sapa yang gantiin kita nih buat pelayanan ibadah umum 2 di Jakarta, soalnya semuanya pada di sini kan kita satu tim. Untung tim sebelonnya bisa gantiin :D Praise God!

Hari Sabtu mulai make'up jam 4an gitu, selesainya makan pentol!! Terus hari Minggunya bangun jam 4pagi buat makeup'in tim PAWnya, agak teler-teler jeleng sih. Tapi seneng-seneng aja haha dan jajan pentol lagi :D Plus tambah semanggat pas tau yang kotbah itu si Ps. Philip Mantofa nya.. Well, emang gak boleh liat dari siapa yg kotbah sih, tapi gak salah kan kalo kita punya favorite pastor yg bisa dijadikan role model :) Asalkan tidak metuhankan dia aja. Ps. Philip is one of my favorite pastor :) Judah Smith also!! HAHA.. Bukan hanya mereka ganteng-ganteng bok *oops*, tapi juga kotbah mereka itu berasa banget urapannya, habis dengerin langsung kaya pengen take action juga. 

Kemaren ini Ps. Philip kotbah tentang mengalah untuk menang dan di ibadah selanjutnya tentang mengingatkan Tuhan. Yang paling gw inget adalah beliau mengatakan hidup ini bukan hanya diatas ambisi. Tetapi di atas visi Kristus, dan Tuhan memberikan instruksi ketika Dia memberi visiNya. Kita harus senantiasa berdoa, bukan berdoa hanya untuk mencari jawaban. Tetapi berdoa untuk siap saat jawaban itu ada. Berdoa seolah-olah Tuhan sudah menjawab doa kita. Karena Tuhan tau apa yang kita mau bahkan sebelum kita memintanya. WOW!! Untuk denger lebih lanjut kotbahnya bisa klik here, pilih yang Sunday 7Oktober, ibadah 2 - mengalah untuk menang. Dan ibadah 3 - mengingatkan Tuhan. 

Pulang dari Surabaya, walo cape-cape tapi super content and refreshed aja. Dan bener-bener grateful saya berada dan tertanam di GMS. Jadi inget dulu pas awal-awal forgood, gw tiap 3minggu ke 3gereja dan komsel yang berbeda karena masih cari gereja dan belom nemu yang bener-bener pas. Pas dalam arti maksud disini adalah, bukan satu gereja lebih baik dari yang lain.. tentu saja bukan. Tapi yang terpenting adalah, dimana Tuhan mau menempatkan gw dan tertanam dan bertumbuh dan bear many many fruits. Jadi I need to be sensitive to God's voice.

Sempet desperate juga loh haha. Kangen gitu sama gereja di Singapore, padahal kan gak boleh comparing yah! Tapi ya gimana gitu, kangen suasana yang homey dan temen-temennya yang comfy.. Kaya gw merasa, God I have been praying, kok gak nemu komunitas yang bener-bener sreg sih?! Terus temen gw ada yang ajakin gw ke GMS. Awal-awalnya gw tolak terus tuh, soalnya gw gak mau ke gereja gede. Walo gw uda tau GMS dari dulu and gw suka sama stylenya tapi gw ga kepengen jadi jemaat tetapna gitu. Pikiran gw GMS tuh gede gitu, gw mau gereja kecil soalnya kaya gereja gw di Sing dulu, lebih kekeluargaan gw pikir. Tapii once again yah, pikiran manusia ga sebanding sama pemikiranNya.

Ketika itu gw uda menetapkan pilihan gw di suatu gereja sebutlah gereja C. Soalnya gw doa ma Tuhan, Tuhan pas ani balik indo cari gereja ani gak mau lama-lama ya sebulan aja maksimal, soalnya kan kalo kelamaan gak sehat juga, gak punya komunitas gitu. Dan bener loh teman-teman rasanya tuh gak punya "home" yang tetap tuh gak enak banget, keringgg.. Terus gereja C ini gereja kecil juga, homey banget anak-anaknya ramah tapi kendalanya agak jauh dan entah napa kaya ada something yang missing aja gitu. Tapi gw tetep kesana sih. Terus waktu itu gw masih belon bisa nyetir, jadi kemana-mana masi minta anterin bokap or supir. Nah pas hari minggu itu, bokap gw bilang mo anterin gw tapi ternyata batal soalnya dya males katanya. Bete lah gw!! Terus temen baek gw bilang, udah gw anterin aja ke gereja ayok tapi ke GMS aja ya di CP soalnya pas lagi mo beli barang juga.

Nah ends up lah gw ibadah di CP, ikud ibadah youth nya yang jam 1, dan telat >.< pas PAW selsai baru duduk gw wuakaka. Tapi pas kotbah, dan ngerasain atmospherenya, gw langsung tau aja kalo this is the place that God want me to be planted and fruitful. Dari saat itu lah gw menetapkan diri disini, cari komsel, daftar pelayanan. Emank awal-awal gak gampang, gw gak kenal sapa-sapa disini. Temen gw yang introduce gw ke GMS tuh on-off Singapore-Jakarta, sedangkan temen baik gw uda pada ada gereja masing-masing. Gw ngerasain tuh yang namanya ke gereja duduk sendiri, pulang gereja makan sendiri =.= Tapi namanya udah ketangkep Tuhan yah, jadi tetep dateng aja terus gitu hehe.

Dan sekarang, gw bener-bener berterimakasih atas kesetiaan Tuhan menuntun gw ke jalanNya :) Gw dapet komunitas yang ok, gw dimuridkan dengan baik sehingga menjadi domba yang sehat bukan hanya rohani tapi juga jasmani wuakaka. Jadi, jangan give up easily dan terus cariiiii kehendak Tuhan. As it is the matters of heart, you will know when you found it :) The road ahead won't be easy but if we take the passenger seat and let God do all the driving you are headed in the right direction. 

Oh ya, jadi bulan Oktober ini gw cuma kosong di weekend tanggal 13-14 kan, soalnya yang lainnya itu uda di planning dari bulan-bulan sebelonnya. Dan ternyata di tanggal 13-14 ini ada sesi pengajaran tentang ini:

Wew, tidak ada yang kebetulan saya percaya.. Gw pas liat jadwal ini kaget banget, dan thank God banget gw free! Kalo gak free, gw bisa sedih banget dah gak ikut >.< So anyone who wants to be there or interested to join in, please come come :) Its gonna be awesome! Revealing the mystery and get the wisdom. Plus a bonus, sit with me at the church :P LOH hahaha..~ You can contact me through twitter or FB :) Or yang punya BBM saya kontek-kontek yah kalo mao dateng!!

Fear Not

There are many fears that people experience. A few common social fears are the fear of failure, fear of success, fear of rejection, and fear of criticism.

We live in such a life that full of failures, so many hurts. When teachers ignore your work, their neglect hurts. When your girlfriend/ boyfriend drop you, when your best friend abandons you, when the company fires you, it hurts. Rejection always does. People bring pain and it causes us to fear.

We have all messed up. Said the wrong words, loved the wrong person, reacted the wrong way…walked when we should have waited, indulged when we should have resisted. And those kind of past memories sometimes make us fear to take the next step, worried to make decision, anxious about what the future might bring.

Fear is a feeling, a feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or imminence of danger. And if we entertain that feeling it’s so dangerous. Satan’s condemnation brings no repentance or resolve, just regret! Satan has one aim: steal your peace, kill your dreams, and destroy your future. He’s deputized people to peddle his poison. Friends dredge up your past. Preachers proclaim all guilt and no grace. And parents, oh, your parents. They own a travel agency that specializes in guilt trips. “Why can’t you grow up?” “When are you going to make me proud?” But one thing to remember, he will not have the last word. God has the final says and He has acted on your behalf, He rises to your defense.

Is your problem too large? Ephesians 3:20 says, “God is able to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.”

Is your need too great? 2 Corinthians 9:8 reminds us, “God is able to provide you with every blessing in abundance.”

Is your temptation too severe? Hebrews 2:18 says, “God is able to help us when we are being tested.”

Is your future too frightening? Jude 1:24 tells us, “God is able to keep you from falling away and will bring you with great joy into his glorious presence without a single fault.”

My friend, Jessica Tandayu ever mentioned that fighting fear doesn’t mean we never feel fear, but it means that we will not let fear rule our life. Fear may present itself as a feeling, but if we refuse to bow down to it, that is all it is… only a feeling! 

It’s human nature to be guided by our fears. Without fear, we may not have survived to be who we are today. Overcoming fear in not easy, fear is a powerful and not a very pleasant emotion, but in our lives, too much fear will prevent us from not only trying new things, but may prevent us from trying again if things do not work out the way we would have liked the first time.

For me, in life there is no failure or rejection, there is just feedback. If we try something new, and things do not work out the way we had hoped, that doesn't mean we have failed, we have just received some feedback on how to do it better next time. Live life fully while you're here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your loved ones. Have fun, go out, make new friends, enjoy the process and live your life to the fullest! Take the opportunity to learn from your mistake: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. No one perfect in this world, but be that kind of person who is willing to learn to be perfect.

Do not let fear and doubts take over your life, for it is written on Isaiah 41:10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

You have a God who hears you, the power of love behind you, the Holy Spirit within you, and all of heaven ahead of you. If you have the Shepherd, you have grace for every sin, direction for every turn, a candle for every corner, and an anchor for every storm. You have everything you need when you lay down your fear in the hands of God, knowing He is the God that will never leave you, never forsake you. He is always in perfect control. Let God be God in your life :)

Inspired by Max Lucado weekly devotional and Ultimate Potential.

10 Things Before 30

I have received facebook notification from Ci Lia, she tagged me on one of her blog post. She said, she seldom tagging people when she post something, but now she tag several people because she want to know the result. The topic is ten things you wanna do before you reach 30. Interesting isn't it? :P

This topic blow my mind away. I do have my own dreams and goals for future, I do have yearly resolution to be met. But never think of about setting goals before I am turning to 30. Thanks Ci Lia for great reminder :D And here's my wishes, dream and goals..

1. Salvation of my family 

Tho this seems the hardest, yet this is my first priority. I have spent countless days and night praying for the salvation of my family. Asking God to knock real hard on the door of their hearts. There are time whereby I just felt so tired to pray, because up to now my parents still didn't believe in God. Yet I can see God's grace is moving in the mids of my family. I am clinging to His promises; "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household."

2. Happily married and have two kids
HAHA!! You might sayin I'm crazy here, but it is true that I wish to get married in young age.. like 23 to 25. Having my first sweetpea at 25y.o followed by second cutiepie at 28y.o and when I reach 30, another twins baby. My main goal is to be housewife, building godly marriage with God fearing man so together me and my house hold we will serve the Lord. TepGun and Louisa kinda shock when they both know that I want to become housewife. Louisa said, what? why? you have many talents nie. She said like that, maybe because she know that I do design, freelance job and tho I'm not perfect I perform well in my work place. Do I find it unfavorably if I leave my job and focuss on housework? Not at all! Am not saying that becoming business woman is a bad thing, of course not. Every woman have different dreams and goal. For me, I just can't imagine my self wearing limited designer dress, carry luxury bag, and sit with prominent people in multinational company yet my husband can't see me as his wife and my kids stick closer with my maid rather than with me. Nightmare! I wanna be that kind of woman who watches over the affairs of my household and does not eat the bread of idleness. My children arise and call me blessed; my husband also, and he praises me: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” 

Courtesy of rialee 

3. Running my own business
My first priority is become housewife but I like to have side job so I can earn extra money for saving. I want to do work because I love doing it, not only because I need a specific outcome to make me happy. That's real success. I want to do what I love because I love doing it and eventually money will find me. Inner joy plus hard work attracts abundance.

4. Have my own house and car
Hopefully before I get married, I can have house and car by my own. Because house and car are primary needs in Indonesia, especially Jakarta. Minimalist and small house will do :) My house will be called house of blessing. When people enter my house they can feel the warmth of God's love.

5. Memorized the streets in Jakarta
When it comes to remembering road, I can't help it -________- It's been a year I stayed at Jakarta, I only can remember the road from my house to office, my house to church at CP that's all. Ironic isn't it?

6. Upgrade my cooking and baking skill
When I reach 30, hopefully I can cook 70 different types of food. Too much? Oh well, maybe 50? Oh well, at least when my hubby eat, he will not get food poisoning. LOL

7. Sponsoring total of 3 children 
For more information you may visit here.

8. Go to Maldives and Cedar Point
Maldives is a perfect place to have honey under the moon! Going to romantic place with a man of your dream ooo.. And how about Cedar Point? My friend, Fani and I made a pinky promise to go together to Cedar Point. Cedar Point received golden ticket award for the best amusement pack in the WORLD for the past 15 years. WOW!! We want to find out why they can get the reward for the 15th consecutive year! Can you imagine how beautiful the park is? So excited!! Dreaming baby dreaming.. Visit Cedar Point website here.

Courtesy of google

Courtesy of google

9. Bookshelf

I love boooksssss.

Courtesy of google 

Courtesy of google 

10. Deeper intimacy with God 
Last but not least, every year I wanna grow deeper and deeper in love with God. We're living in uncertain times, and more and more, I find that I'm aware of just how fragile life can be. I want to tell the world I've found a love that turned my life around. They need to know that they can taste and see. Now every day, I'm praying Just to give my heart away.. I want to live for Jesus so that someone else might see that He is more than everything to me.

When God Brings Back Your Past

Kamis, 20 September 2012 
Pagi ini gw kebangun gara-gara suara menggelegar dari nyokap gw. Nyokap gw manggil'in enzo terus. "Enzo sini sayang, kok kamu lemes banget sih. Enzo kok tumben gak mau makan". Gw masi lagi tidur tuh dan gw gak tergerak untuk bangun, soalnya gw pikir uda biasa nyokap gw manggil-manggilin enzo tiap pagi. Sampe nyokap gw tereak super kenceng, "Enzo jangan mati sayang ini mama." Gw langsung loncat bok dari kasur lari buat ngecheck my cutie dog.

Pas gw liat enzo, langsung gw gendong dan bener aja matanya udah sayu banget, lidahnya pucet and his heart beat so slow. Gw panik at the disco deh! Bokap nyokap gw langsung bikinin susu buat netralin mungkin dya keracunan or apa. Tapi tetep enjo gak mau :( Jadi perlu dicekok'in deh. Gw sama dede gw yang cowo sibuk browsing cari vet yang kemungkinan buka soalnya kan pikada hari ini.

Thanks God susu bereaksi cepet di enjo, udah gak pucet lagi lidahnya dan uda mulai mau mamam. Tapi gw tetep bawa ke vet. Ini vet 24 jam, tau dari temen gw dulu dya pernah kasi tau kalo vet ini bagus. Pas gw kesana, enzo di check dll dokternya bilang kalo dya kurang glukosa dikasih beberapa obat tapi basically dya gak in serious condition koq yeay! Vet'nya bagus, dokternya juga berpengalaman. Pulang dari sono, di mobil gw bilang ke temen gw.. Coba kalo dulu lilo gw bawa yah kesini, mungkin dya masi idup. Yang gak tau kejadian lilo, boleh baca disini. Lilo emang gw bawa ke vet juga, tapi vet deket rumah. Pas saat itu gw uda tau vet ini, tapi karena lebih jauh gw pikir pertolongan pertama gw bawa yang deket dulu.

Ketika gw sampe rumah, gw cerita sama nyokap gw keadaan enzo. Gw cerita gw bawa ke vet mana dan dokternya bagus. Terus nyokap gw langsung nyeletuk, coba ya ce dulu kita bawa lilo kesana mungkin dya masi idup. Gw langsung DEG! Nyokap gw berpikiran sama. Padahal gw belon menyuarakan pemikiran gw.

Sabtu, 22 September 2012
Hari ini Ci Erlyn sanjit'an dan gw diajak juga untuk jadi nona manis katanya haha :P Pas lagi otw ke tempat sanjit'nya di tengah jalan gw liat mobil dengan plat nomor B696NIE *Bukan no yang sebenernya yah* Pas liat mobil itu gw langsung deg, soalnya gw curiga itu plat mobil my ex. Ntah kenapa bisa langsung mikir gitu, berdasarkan feeling aja sih. Soalnya angka dan nama yang tertera di mobil itu super mendekati sama angka ultah dan nama my ex.

Gw satu mobil sama temen gw juga, terus gw senggol-senggol dya. Eh liat deh itu mobilnya si A bukan yah? Terus temen gw bilang kayanya iya deh, soalnya dulu dya perna pajang poto di BB picturenya plat nomor dengan huruf belakang NIE yang sama, cuma angkanya berapa temen gw itu gak inget. Dan mobilnya warnanya pun sama kata dya. Temen gw nanya balik ke gw, gw bilang I have no idea soalnya kan BB gw rusak dan I lost all my data termasuk contacts.

Saya langsung diam dan berpikir. Kemaren tuh kita lagi jalan di daerah gading gitu. Dan dulu setaunya gw tentang ex gw, dya jarang banget ke daerah sana. Gw jadi wonder.. Lagi apa dya sekarang, gimana kabar dya. Kalo gw masih jalan sama dya sekarang, gimana yah? Kalo andai aja waktu itu kita udah sama-sama lebih dewasa, apa bakal ends up kaya gini hubungannya? Baca masa struggle gw disini. 

***

Each and everyone of us have different stories about our past. To be honest I don't know why suddenly the memory of my past come back to attack me again. Gw sempet galau dan down for a moment. I thought gw uda bener-bener relain lilo pergi. Gw udah gak pernah nangis sedikitpun kalo inget dya. I thought gw juga uda sebodo amat sama ex gw. Gw gak pernah nyesel karena kita putus, malah I thank God for my single life right now! Tapi kenapa ada tiba-tiba ada kejadian simple begitu gw langsung terusik? Dan kenapa harus bersamaan? Losing lilo is one of the greatest lost for me and breaking up with my ex is one of the biggest turning point in my life. So these two things play a big role in my life. 

Gw terus bergumul sama Tuhan, Tuhan kenapa ya? Bukannya ani uda relain lilo, dan ani juga uda move on sama si A. Jujur aja gw sebel dengan perasaan gw sendiri yang ga bisa gw kontrol ketika tiba-tiba masalah kecil aja bisa membuat gw terusik. Fyi, gw bukan type cewe yang gampang moody, bete, down or drop. Gw suka ketawa-ketawa, type yang yaudalah ya.. dan sangat easy going with what life may bring to me. Tapi sekali saya down, bisa lama gitu huhu. Makanya gw sangat menghindari hal-hal yang bisa bikin gw down.

Terus pulang dari sanjit'an Ci Eyn gw ke gereja karena ada audisi make-up dan ada Mawar Sharon Woman, kebaktian khusus cewe dengan tema if you are a woman, what is your true success? Interesting, isn't it? Sebelum kotbah ada PAW seperti biasa, dan lagu terakhir di worship itu adalah Saat KusembahMu dan lyricnya ada yang nancep banget.

"Nyatakan kemuliaanMu saat kusembahMu"

Dari lyric ini gw sadar, disaat gw lemah dan down gw menemukan pengharapan HANYA di dalam Dia. In order untuk Tuhan menyatakan kemuliaanNya atas hidup gw, gw harus benar-benar mencari wajahNya dan keluar dari comfort zone gw. I really thank God for my life, people around me, my job etc, gw super duper blessed beyond words dan dengan kejadian begini gw bener-bener diingetin kalo gw harus terus selalu menempel di pokok anggur yang benar.

When I flip over my bible, this verse suddenly pop out. 2Corinthians12:10 "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." Dan pas gw skimming baca ayat atasnya, ayat 9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness."

How about you guys? You may ever made mistake in your past, trying hard to forget it and forgive your own self. You may wonder many IF in your life. But as Rick Warren said, we are product of our past but we dont have to be prisoners of it. Dont be sad or regret if suddenly you remember about your past life. Just come to Him and give all your worries, doubts to Him. I believe once upon a time in our life that God may remind us again from our past. Not because we have not move on, but to remind us once we are sinners and through God alone we become a new creations.

He is your strong tower to which you can always go. He will calm your raging sea, and in our weakness He is merciful. He is redeemer of my past and present wrongs. He is holder of my future days to come. He wears my guilt on His shoulders and holds my heart in His hands. He takes my thoughts and fears and hangs them on the arms of Calvary. Yes God, Jesus it is YOU! Nothing in this world can satisfy, Jesus You are the cup that won't run dry!!

“Never be afraid when God brings back your past. Let your memory have its way with you. It is a minister of God bringing its rebuke and sorrow to you. God will turn what might have been into a wonderful lesson of growth for the future.”

Oswald Chambers - My Utmost For His Highest