A Letter To Single Girls

Dear Single Girl,

I don’t know you personally, yet, but there are a few things I want to tell you with the hope that I will get to know you some day. Actually, there are 5 things I want you to know:

1. How to get a man’s attention. The guy that you are looking for isn’t attracted to charm as much as he is Godliness because beauty fades but Godliness GROWS (1 Peter 3:3-5). I know that the culture will tell you that guys are turned away and intimidated by girls that love Jesus and have strong values and convictions. Culture is wrong; boys may be turned away by strong convictions, but men are not. Be the woman God has called you to be, and a godly man will notice.

2. Run from “Prince Charming”. Some girls seem to give attention to every smooth talker and cool dresser that comes their way. Please don’t do that; be patient and wait on a man who is concerned with pursuing Jesus, not another trophy. Only give the GROWING, God fearing man a chance to pursue you. Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain (Prov 31:30).

3. I am just a guy, not a god. A guy will crumble under the weight of being your god. No other person can complete you or make you happy. There are lots of great physical and emotional benefits that come from a relationship, but none of it is enough to sustain a healthy loving marriage if your faith is not in Jesus. No guy will complete you, so don’t put him on that pedestal (he will fall).

4. Don’t wait on me, pursue Jesus. From my male perspective, there is nothing more attractive than a woman being obedient to Jesus and taking the risk to follow Jesus wherever He leads. Too many times I notice girls in the church just sitting and waiting on a man to come and rescue them from a life of boredom. When it comes time for me to pick a partner, I want somebody that can follow me on an adventure, not someone that is used to doing nothing and complaining about the fact that no one is interested in them. Pursue Jesus and I will pursue you when He gives me the green light.

5. Time is not running out. Singleness is a gift, not a curse. You want to be beautiful? Put your hope in God and don’t give way to fear; trust his timing (1 John 4:18). Don’t waste your single years by always waiting on what is next and turning yourself into a man chaser. Let’s follow God right now and trust Him to take care of the next. God is sovereign and able to direct both of us to each other when the time is right.

Until Then,
A Single Guy

Reblog from here.

Lesson Learned: Taking Him For Granted

My very first lesson learned :D Refer from my post here. Pas lagi baca-baca diary, terus ketemu halaman ini. Udah dari February lalu haha. Gambarnya mesti di klik biar bisa baca jelas, maklum tulisan saya super mini. 

What's written there yah basically gw say sorry to God kalo selama ini baik secara sadar atau tidak sadar saya take Ko Y for granted. Apa yang dimaksud dengan taking him for granted? Jadi yah, kalo gw lagi bete bad mood spanning tinggi tingkat dewa dewi. Biasanya yang selalu kena itu Ko Y. Dia bisa gw sensiin, gw jutekin, gw galakin or even parahnya gw diemin.

Praise God gw udah jadi lebih sadar, kalo gw sering menjadikan Ko Y pelampiasan gw selama ini. Ini gw capture dan simpen karena disana dia bilang, kenapa aku kena lagi, aku apes banget. Ini suatu tamparan banget buat gw!! Sama yang dia bilang, aku bisa di betein, aku harus siap-siap. Uhhh gw langsung kaya ketiban batu!! Aslinya ini tuh gw bete karena gw stress cari frame gitu, uda lama si casenya. Tapi masi tetep gw simpen soalnya reminder banget! Kata-kata dia walo ditulis dengan baik tanpa ada kesan marah or menyindir, bener-bener nyadarin gw betapa jahat dan kezamnya gw LOL.

Kenapa harus Ko Y? Karena gw tau he is the one that very understanding that patience enough when it comes to handle nagging me. He is the one who always faithful enough to listen all my grumbles and complains. And he really know how to chill me down, which is.. to fully lend an ears that truly listened and concern.

Cewe yah, sensitif banget kan. Kalo lagi bad mood, ada satu or dua hal aja yang gak berjalan dengan semestinya, bisa langsung bikin gw bete abis. Apalagi kalo PMS!! I used to be believe kalo benernya PMS doesnt exists, why? Coz happiness is a choice. We have the ability to choose to be happy, despite how painful the PMS is. Tapi gimana donk, kadang beneran deh PMS tuh bikin sensi jadi naik tingkat dewa haha. Semua cewe yang setuju angkat tangan! And I can hear all the boys shout, woman is truly complicated. HAHA.

Terus kemaren itu setelah saya jutekin dia (untuk kesekian kalinya) gw minta maap. Ko maap ya aku tadi bete gak jelas. Terus dia nanya, aku salah apa? Gw jawab, gak sih aku yang salah kamu gak salah apa-apa. Dia nanya lagi, kamu lagi dapet ya? Gw jawab kagak sih, baru aja selesai. Terus dia bilang, lain kali kasih tau kalo lagi dapet jadi aku bisa siap-siap.

Toenkkkk pas denger dia jawab gitu, gw jadi gak enak ati bangetttt -.- Terus gw bener-bener langsung say sorry lagi and promise in the future bakal try my best tuk manage my emotions and my action as well. Dan minta maaf sedalam-dalamnya. Lucky me, I got the very understanding guy.. He replied, ya gpp koko seneng kalo kamu ada belajar sesuatu lagi.

Well, disini gw belajar kalo cewe itu harus punya:
1. A gentle spirit
Roh yang lemah lembut. Jadi cewe yang punya hati buat selalu belajar, mau diajar, mau ditegur, no grumble and no complain.
Kadang kita cewe selalu mau jadi nomor satu. Bukan cuma always to be number one, tapiii we also want to be right. Agree with me? Lets be honest :D
Kemaren itu pastor yang kotbah bilang gini, in marriage life, there's alot of things that cant meet the meeting point. Disaat itulah spirit of submission dan kerelaan melepaskan hak sangat dibutuhkan. To let your husband be the leader, tugas kita menunduk.

2. A quiet spirit
Roh yang tentram membangun atmosphere of comfort. Gw notice, pas gw review balik si Ko Y selalu ada bilang aku siap-siap. Pas yang gw bete di capture itu sekitar bulan February, disana dia bilang aku harus siap-siap. Dan yang gw bete baru-baru ini, dia juga bilang biar aku bisa siap-siap.
Ya ampyunn ani, kalooo sampe married gw masih begini terus sih siapapun suami dan sesabar apapun dia pasti gak bakal mau pulang rumah lah. Kenapa gak mo pulang rumah? Karena secara gak langsung gw buat rumah kaya maen togel. Kalo lagi happy ya disambut baik, kalo lagi bete ya disambut seadanya. Suami mana coba yang mau pulang rumah dengan dagdigdug kek maen togel, keep guessing, hari ini gimana ya keadaannya? Harusnya kan, we as woman its one of our responsibility to make a house become resting zone. There will be plenty of time that our husband face troubles and got pressure. They need support, bukan ditodong wkwk. When he is so exhausted, where he wanna be? It should be HOME.

Ayo ani, gak boleh nagging, gak digampar udah bagus. Kadang gw remind my own self :P Haha. Dan pelan-pelan gw belajar, saya ini bukan pengacara dan Ko Y bukan terdakwa :P Jadi gak sepantasnya gw salah-salahin dia terus hwhw. Gw juga belajar selain gak taking him for granted, gw belajar untuk selalu menaruh Tuhan di tempat pertama di setiap saat di setiap harinya. Ketika gw ga seneng sama ko Y, gw akan minta baik-baik. Tapi kalo gak dikasih juga ya udalah eke minta nangis-menangis sama Tuhan. Instead of pushing or asking Ko Y too far. Dia kan juga manusia gak bisa menuhin semua my expectation.

Aniweii, sesampainya gw di Semarang gw mampir main ke lawang sewu. Mayan angker sih haha. Pas ajak Ko Y ke lawang sewu dia ogah gitu, terus gw uda hampir bete :P Dia bilang, orang semarang aja tuh gak ada yang mau kesana karena gak ada apa-apa, justru orang luar semarang aja yang pengen tau. Dalem ati gw, ya iyalah gw mau tau orang gw jarang ke semarang huh. Tapi instead ngeluarin kata-kata nyolot, I beg him and it works wkwkwk. Yeay, we woman do really has great power over a man. So becareful ladies, use your power wisely.

Marry Your Daughter

Very soon I'm hoping that.. 
I Can marry your daughter 
And make her my wife 
I want her to be the only girl that I love for the rest of my life 
And give her the best of me 'till the day that I die

I'm gonna marry your princess
And make her my queen
She'll be the most beautiful bride that I've ever seen 

I can't wait to smile 
When she walks down the isle 
On the arm of her father 

Isn't that very sweet? This is one of the sweetest song I've ever heard!! I'm so touched and agree with Sylvia says, which girl doesn't want this? I know this song from her blog, here. Alrite, call me a hopeless romantic girl. Yes, I am. I am in love with love :P And how I adore love story with great ending!

Since the day that we met 
I'm scared to death to think of what would happen if she ever left
So don't you ever worry about me ever treating her bad 
I've got most of my vows done so far 
So bring on the better or worse
And tell death do us part 
There's no doubt in my mind

I really love this song, the lyrics is so beautiful! It's true to every words and this guy must be very sweet! My favorite sentence, Im gonna marry your princess and make her my queen.. AWW! And here is the video, do enjoy!

(Love) Story Needs To Be Told

Yak,, banyak yang udah assume dan tau yahh kalo saya udah single no more *kaya lagu aje* And beberapa fellow blogger and temen minta diceritain the complete story-nya. 

However, with all due respect my love story will only be told after we engaged. Please do understand :) Kenapa harus setelah tunangan baru diceritain? Kenapa gak sekarang aja? For me personally, masa-masa pacaran ini masih ada chance untuk break up or kandas di tengah jalan. Well, bukan gw berharap or neting kaya gitu ya. No no no. Tapi gw juga gak mau muna dan naive mikir gak bakal putus etc. Yes, we have talked about the future or plans getting married etc tapi gw juga gak nutup kemungkinan along the way ada major problem yang ends up lebih baik kalo kita sendiri-sendiri :) 

Bukannya pas tunangan juga bisa putus yah? Bisa banget emank, apalagi dengan dunia jaman sekarang yang seremnya bukan main uy. Tapiii in my faith, ketika gw uda tunangan, uda masuk dimana I swim in the water. Kalo masa-masa pacaran itu ibaratnya masa-masa dimana testing the water. Perumpamaan ini gw ambil dari buku Waiting and Dating by Myles Munroe. Buku yang sangat bagus untuk yang mau engaged! Baggguuuusss buanget! Highly recommended. 

Jadi ada certain important things and hal yang matter the most to me yang gw mau cuma cowo yang jadi suami gw yang bakal tau, not other guys. Only him. About family matters, dream, hope, my past etc. Cuma my future husband yang bakal dapet access itu. Kalo udah tunangan, berarti he is my future husband donk ya. Kalo masih pacar kan masih kandidat. 

Its my own opinion sih, thats why I will only share my love story to public once Im about to married. But many of my friends yang share about their life story since they are in courtship, and I feel blessed too. Theres no right or wrong, just the different point of view.

Tapii, saya akan tetep cerita-cerita lesson learned dari selama menjalani courtship ini :) Bukan mau pamer-pamer tapi biar dapet dukungan or teguran or bimbingan dari kalian semua. When I pour out my thoughts, people agree with me nor disagree with me. I love it :D Jadi, cerita my journey in courtship with Ko Y, will be posted under label: Lesson Learned :) 

Love VS Marriage

I re-post this post from my friend's blog here. Do pay a visit her blog as well, many of worth-to-read post. I love the article coz it give an eye opening and insight. Please enjoyyyy!

***

Story: "Difference in Love and Marriage" 

A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the field, go through first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders... may be there is a bigger one later.
Then he saw another bigger one... But may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him.
Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start to realize that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.

So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.

The teacher told him, "this is love... You keep looking for a better one, but when later you realize, you have already miss the person..."

"What is marriage then?" the student asked.

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to the teacher. 

The teacher told him, "This time you bring back a corn. You look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get... This is marriage."

***

Gw setuju banget sama perumpamaan di atas. Gw personally, banyak banget ngeliat temen-temen sekitar gw. Yang udah mateng secara financial, character and spiritual tapi belon juga merid. Well, gw gak mau ngejudge mereka pemilih etc. Tentunya banyak sekali faktor yang menentukan. Panggilan single tiap orang ituh berbeda. Ada yang married muda bangett, ada juga yang normal. Kenapa gw bilang panggilan? Karena baik single, married, or to be a mom is all the same calling. No calling higher than the other. And there's time for every season.

For me, masa single gw adalah masa dimana gw bisa all out untuk Tuhan, pelayanan, ikud aktivitas dari pagi mpe malem, memperbaikin diri, try many new things, pokonya all out deh coz masi sangat energetic ditunjang dengan fisik yang masih kuat. Dan ketika gw udah jadi istri dan mommy, pelayanan gw di gereja mungkin udah gak bisa se'maximum ketika gw masi youth. Udah gak bisa tuh dari pagi ampe malem di gereja, coz gw perlu take care my hubby and my kids. Dan pelayanan gw yang terbesar akan menjadi faithful wifey and wise mommy. Dan mungkin ketika my kids start to grow up, I will be back to minister at church again. Udah lebih banyak waktu luang di luar rumah juga. That's why I said.. there's really time for every season. And no calling higher than the other as long as you all out for Jesus, live the life as He directs you to live and life alive.

Nah tapi dari cerita ini juga, gw diingatkan untuk kita para single ladies. Seringkali kita too enjoy with our single-life. Dan bener-bener gak peduliin masalah pasangan hidup. Ada yang fokus mengejar karir, dan ada beberapa cowo yang sungguh takut akan Tuhan mengejarnya tapi malah dicuekin dan super gak digubris karena super enjoy with life now. Nah ntar pas uda thirty over something pas uda mau merid, tapi lakinya udah gak ada gimana. Karena pasangan hidup itu pilihan, baca penjelasan ci Lia disini.

Loh bukannya kita harus life our live to the fullest? Yes it is true. Tapi juga jangan lupa harus sensitif dan peka. Kalo masih kuliah/ sekolah, belon kerja ya mending jangan memulai hubungan dulu. Tunggu sampe bener-bener mateng secara karakter dan spiritual. Jangan membangkitkan asmara sebelum pada waktunya, ntar berabe. Dan kalo emank masih mau bener-bener fokus melayani Tuhan and masih mau merid 5tahun lagi yah gapapa. I am a firm believer, pacaran cukup 1-2tahun ajah. Gak perlu lama-lama. Karena pacaran lama gak menjamin kenal orangnya. Pacaran harus tegas dan tau tujuannya untuk pernikahan. Yang setuju angkat tangan!! Haha. Dan pastikan juga kita sendiri pun udah mateng dan udah tau jelas visi misi dalam hidup kita tuh apa. Jangan cuma asal main consider karena udah kegatelan juga wakaka. In this case, we really need to counsel with kakak rohani/ pembimbing etc. Karena mereka yang bisa liat dan nilai, apakah kita uda ready for relationship?

And my point here is.. eventho kita lagi super enjoy sama single life, tapi benernya udah siap dan ready untuk sebuah relationship. Ketika ada cowo yang sungguh menanti dan sungguh takut akan Tuhan. You should really take it seriously and pray hard about it. Wether he got the chance or not. Jangan mentang-mentang tuh cowo setia menunggu. Terus kitanya santai-santai. Ntar in the end ditolak, kasian juga kan? How long is he willing to wait until kamu yakin? Or berapa lama kamu butuh waktu untuk give him an answer? We might thinking masih adalah ntar cowo lain yang lewat. Well, diatas langit selalu ada langit dan nature'nya manusia = tidak akan pernah puas. So my conclusion is.. ketika ada cowo yang bener-bener sincere dan sepadan ya harus di consider dan didoakan, jangan dilewatkan begitu saja mentang-mentang lagi enjoy your life now ato adanya beberapa minor point yang gak sesuai harapan kita. (Well, im talking to myself too) 

Alrite, maybe we can let him go. Can continually enjoy our life, happy-happy. Tapi not sure when will another good guy appear. Coz timing is God's mystery. Ketika ada cowo yang sincere dan sepadan tuh harus banget didoakan dan take seriously no matter how much you enjoy your single life now. Karena menemukan yang sepadan tuh gampang-gampang susah loh. Sepadan itu apa sih? Menurut gw sepadan itu, sama berat. Punya visi misi yang sama. Pernikahan itu idenya Tuhan, jadi ketika Dia mempertemukan dengan calon PH pasti juga dengan suatu visi. Gak cuma merid untuk beranak-beranak doank. Tapi biar rencana Tuhan turut tergenapi di dalam pernikahanmu. Misalnya gini: visi gw dari Tuhan itu so specific untuk pastoring menetap di Jakarta misalnya. Dan ada cowo yang lagi deketin gw itu visinya menjadi misionaris. Ini sama-sama dari Tuhan loh dan gak ada yang salah. Tapi ya kita gak sejalan kalo gak bisa saling mendukung. Karena untuk beberapa orang, Tuhan bener-bener kasih calling yang sangat specific. Baca disini untuk lebih jelas tentang visi misi.

Well, no other words needed to explain lah ya. Coz we truly know how hard it is to find someone that share the same burden and heart for Jesus, for the Kingdom of God. And waiting is the hardest part too. That's why, jangan sampe this statement happen in our life.

"You keep looking for a better one, but when later you realize, you have already miss the person."

Wait in God alone, wait patiently for Him to act and be wise :) And one thing to remember as much as you want to plan your life, it has a way of surprising you with unexpected things that will make you happier than you originally planned. That's what you call GOD'S PLAN.

Guys, It Matters Whom You Marry, Too

Just as a woman must think carefully about a potential husband, you must be careful about a potential wife. Careful evaluation in a number of areas will save you a lifetime of frustration. Right now, you might think she’s pretty, or playful, or nice to you. It’s not enough. One pregnancy can alter a figure, responsibilities at home can reveal laziness, and a disagreement about money can turn her against you. The church in North America has many men who are hampered in their abilities and success because they were distracted by a pretty face who now seems to bring more trouble than bliss.

Just as a girl can’t imagine how much of an impact a husband will have on her unless an older woman is very frank with her, so you can’t imagine how that attractive girl you know could impact your life unless someone is very frank with you. Marriage will impact nearly every area of your life. Ready?

1. It will impact your spiritual life. 

If the girl is not a believer, drop her now. You have no right to yoke yourself with someone who is not a believer, and a responsibility to obey Scripture’s clear and good direction in this (2 Cor. 6:14). Dating is for marriage, not evangelism. Some guys think it’s unkind, or unfair to break up with a girl just because she’s not a Christian. The reality from God’s perspective is that it was unkind and unfair to start the wrong relationship with her in the first place. So are you going to falsely “be nice”, or are you going to be true to her by being obedient to your God? Be honest with her that you have failed in walking in God’s ways, failed in showing that the gospel, new life in communion with Christ, is foundational to Christian marriage–and as such foundational to a dating relationship. Ask godly women in the church to befriend her and to minister God’s Word to her soul. What should you do? Pray. Keep her at arms length. No dates. Stay away without a hint of any promise of anything future, until other mature Christians are convinced that she is genuinely transformed–and not just professing faith for a relationship with you.

If she is a believer, is she growing, or stagnant? Does she love God and commune with him on her own? Is she eager to learn from his Word, or more excited about shopping and friends? Is she by grace faithful to God and you now, or is she promiscuous with her emotions and body towards other men? Will she support and encourage your initiative in leading family worship, or will she hinder it? Is she the type who is going to be up and getting the kids ready for worship on Sunday morning, or will you be struggling to get everyone in the car on time? Few of us men are capable of getting small children fed, dressed, and buckled into car seats by mid-morning without help, though God can grant grace in exceptional circumstances. Just because you are the man, just because you are the leader in the relationship doesn’t mean that you will be able to pull her along in sanctification. She will either be a drag on your holiness, or a catalyst, a sweet encouragement for your personal, spiritual development. That will also be true for any future children.

Think long and hard. Pray. Get counsel from wise men with great marriages.

2. It will impact your service in the church. 
Is the girl that you’re thinking of excited about your involvement in the local church? Is she going to encourage you to serve the congregation with your gifts, or is she going to complain that you’re not helping her do laundry instead? Is she going to free you up to build up the body of Christ in whatever ways you can, or is she going to make it the last priority? Is she going to be a Priscilla (Acts 18) or a Michal (I Sam 6:16-20)? If you think that this will be an issue, look elsewhere for a helpmeet – you will have to answer to God for picking a woman who prevents you from serving Christ in his church.

This is especially important to think about if you are considering any sort of formal ministry. Far too many pastors are hindered in their work because of wives who take advantage of flexible work hours and a willingness to help–a characteristic of many ministry-minded men. These wives cripple the church. Their husbands are doing routine laundry instead of hospital visitation, ordinary child care instead of sermon preparation, and pampering their wives instead of shepherding souls. I review a lot of recommendations for students applying to seminaries. Increasingly, good churches realize that not only the student, but also his wife needs to be evaluated in her role as wife and mother. Ordinary, faithful men shine with a steady, loving and wise, supportive wife. While your wife can’t qualify you for pastoral ministry, she can most certainly disqualify you.

Tread carefully.

3. It will impact your reputation. 
Do you know what your girlfriend says about you to her friends? Her mother? Her facebook and twitter world? My wife was once visiting with a woman who repeatedly belittled her husband, not as an evil man, not as a bad father, but as an inept goof. It was this woman’s habit to talk this way, and it made people disrespect her husband. While it is your responsibility to behave in a respectable way, it is your wife’s responsibility to speak of you in a way that preserves and builds up your reputation, instead of revealing your shortcomings and faults to the world. The Proverbs 31 woman behaved and spoke in a way that enable her husband to trust her fully (v. 11). She did him good, not harm, all the days of her life (v. 12), partly with her words.

That does not mean that a wife should be hiding their husband’s serious patterns of sin from pastors or other people who need to know, but that they must be very careful to speak respectfully wherever possible about their husbands. Will the girl you are with build up your reputation or tear it down? Will she teach the children to respect you, or will your own family think little of you? Will she broadcast every failure that you have, or will she, in love, hide them from the world and help you fight them in private?

What will your wife do for your reputation?

4. It will impact your work life and finances. 

God created Eve to be a help suitable for Adam – a helpmeet. She is a pattern for all other wives. Is your girlfriend excited about the work you do, or does she not care? Is she able to help you where possible, or does she not want to be involved? The sort of work a wife/ helpmeet does depends on her husband’s calling, but it should always be there.

We know so many examples:
a husband who lays flooring and goes through the knees of his pants has a wife who loves beautiful floors and keeps him supplied with new work clothes. A husband who is an accountant and works long hours every tax season has a wife who keeps dinner hot for him and has the kids in bed when he gets home. A minister who faces spiritual opposition in the congregation has a wife who listens and encourages. A small town doctor has a wife who figures out how to get bodily fluids out of scrubs. And we also know men whose wives hate their work, and frustrate their husbands in their callings. It’s a huge burden to the men, stunting them in their careers and the use of their gifts. Can your girlfriend help you? Does she want to?

What will she do with the money that you earn through your work? Go shopping all the time, or wisely budget? Will she ask your advice about financial decisions, or make big changes without considering you? Will she be reckless with money, or enable you to live within your means? Is she greedy, or eager to give sacrificially to the work of the church? Is she looking for ways to get extra money, or finding ways to bless others in need with what you have?

Think: this relationship has the potential to ruin you or free you.

5. It will impact your other relationships. 

Courtesy of Cameroningalls

What does your mother think of your girlfriend? Does she think that this woman will take care of her son? Be a good mother? Does your girlfriend respect your parents? Is she happy to have them as grandparents for your children? Will your girlfriend’s parents dominate your marriage? Will they dictate “advice” or allow you to be the head of your own household? You do have to leave your father and mother and cleave to your wife, but you still need to consider what effect they will have on your marriage, because they will have one, for better or for worse.


What about your male friends and mentors? Will the girl that you have in mind encourage you to be accountable to older godly men, or will she not care, and complain about privacy? Will she suggest that you call up your brother once in a while and see how he’s doing, or will she whine that you’re not spending time with her? Will she be happy on occasion to put the kids to bed alone so you can visit with a friend, or will you not have that opportunity?

Make a wise choice, not a foolish one.

Courtesy of Cameroningalls

6. It will impact your health. 
Scripture gives us so many warnings about nagging, pestering, quick tempered wives (Gen. 30:1-2; Prov. 21:9, 19; 25:24). Men married to women like these are willing to live on a roof in order to have some mental peace. Will the girl you are with be careful to not pester and nag, and mentally wear you down, or will she prevent frustration where she can by expressing her opinion and being content with your leadership? Is she going to respect you and tell you so, or will she treat you like one of the kids?

Is she going to encourage you to exercise and prepare decent food for you to help you maintain your physical health? Or will she complain about the time and effort that it takes?

Is she going to be available, within reason, sexually, or will she use her body as a tool of manipulation to get you to do what she wants? Is she going to be grudgingly approach the marriage bed, or will she treat it as a good gift that God has given the two of you to enjoy, as an expression of love and delight?

Heed Scripture’s warnings here.

So how will your girlfriend do after the vows? Because this is just a sampling of the ways that a wife can bless or curse her husband. The effects are far reaching, long lasting, and either wonderful or difficult. Of course, there is no perfect woman. But there are amazing ones. And it’s better to be single for life than to marry someone who will make your life a burden. Singleness can be great – I was married late and experienced some blessed years of bachelorhood. Marriage to the wrong person is a nightmare. I know men whose careers, families, personal development and even congregations have been destroyed by their wives. It’s heartbreaking and messy, especially for the husband. Don’t be so easy going about your choice of wife that your marriage is a grief. If you are in an unhappy marriage, there are ways to get help. But if you’re not married, don’t put yourself in a bad situation when it is 100% avoidable. Don’t marry someone who can’t follow your leadership. Don’t marry someone who is not seeking to love Christ as you seek to love her as Christ loved the church. Marry someone who knows and demonstrates the love of Christ.

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Photo courtesy of Jose Villa and Cameroningalls

Girls, It Matters Whom You Marry

My husband and I were once with a youth group. There were three kids sitting across from us at a meal: two guys and a girl. The one guy was a computer geek with glasses. The other one was a college student with slightly cooler hair and no glasses. The girl was obviously with him. But while the computer geek was busy serving everyone at the meal, clearing plates and garbage, the college student got angry with the girl for a small accident and poured red juice over her leather jacket and white shirt. She picked the wrong guy, and the juice didn’t seem to change her mind. She is in for some grief if that relationship continues and especially if it leads to marriage.

So to all the young, unmarried Christian girls out there, listen up: who you marry matters. You might think that the way he treats you isn’t so bad. It’s not going to get better after the wedding. You might think that he’ll change. It’s possible, but most don’t. You might think that you’ll be able to minister to him and help him. Possibly, but if you can’t now, you won’t then, and you will be at risk yourself. A husband should lead and cherish you, not need your counsel for basic personality or behavior issues.

Unless someone married is very frank with you, you can’t understand how much a husband will impact your entire life. Next to salvation there is no other long term event that will change so many areas of your life so deeply. Here are just some of the ways that marriage will impact every aspect of living.

1. It will impact you spiritually. 
If the guy is not a believer, you can stop right there. You have no business yoking a redeemed soul with an unregenerate one, even if he seems open to change. Christ has bought you with a price and it is not an option to give away that blood bought heart to someone who doesn’t know and love your Lord. It will cripple your spiritual development, open up a host of temptations, stifle your prayer life, make regular church going difficult, and cause massive parenting conflict if you have children.

If the guy is a believer, is he a strong one? Will he lead you in prayer, Bible reading, family devotions, and public worship? Or will you be on your own? Is he going to make spiritual growth a priority or do other things come first? Is he going to ask you how it’s going with your soul so he can help you grow in holiness and love for Christ, or will he leave that to your pastor? Is he going to lead the children in this, or will you have to spearhead that? In church, is he going to help the kids sit well, pray, find the hymn, or will you be the one pointing out what is happening next and helping the family keep up? Many women have married spiritually immature men, thinking that it wasn’t a big issue, or that the man would change, and they were wrong. They bear the scars.

The health of your eternity is at stake. Think carefully.

2. It will impact you emotionally. 
Is the guy you’re thinking of going to encourage you, love you, be kind to you, and seek to understand you, or will he want to go out with the guys when you’re having a hard night? Will he listen when you are struggling with something or will he be preoccupied with a video game? Is he going to be annoyed when you cry or will he get you Kleenex and give you a hug? Is he going to understand that you are probably more tender than he is, more sensitive to issues and comments, or is he regularly going to run rough shod over your feelings? One woman was struggling to breastfeed her new baby, believing that that was the best thing for her, but it was very difficult. Instead of giving support and encouragement, the husband would make mooing sounds whenever he saw his wife working at it. We have to get rid of princess complexes, but we do have emotional needs. Any guy who is uncaring about your feelings and self esteem is selfish and should be left alone.

Be careful – a husband can cripple or foster emotional health.

3. It will impact you physically.
Is the guy you’re with going to provide for your basic needs? Will he be able to shelter, clothe and feed you? At one point in our marriage, I was worried that there was no employment opportunity. My husband assured me that he would work at McDonalds, dig ditches, clean up roadkill – whatever it took to provide for the family, regardless of his gifts and training. That’s the kind of attitude you want. A man who doesn’t provide for his household is worse than an infidel (I Tim. 5:8). You might have to help ease the financial burden, but unless your husband is disabled or there is another unusual circumstance, you shouldn’t have to carry it yourself.

Will the man you are with care for your body or abuse it? If he gives you little smacks, kicks, etc. when you’re dating, get away. It’s almost guaranteed that he will abuse you after marriage, and stats show that’s especially true when you are pregnant. Is he going to care for and protect your body or will he hurt it? There are women in churches across America who thought it was no big deal to have little (sort of friendly) punches or slaps from their boyfriends, but who are covering up the bruises from their husbands.

Will the man you are with care for you sexually? Is he going to honour the marriage bed in physical and mental faithfulness to you or will he flirt, feed his porn addiction, or even leave you for another woman? You can’t always predict these issues, but if the seeds or practices are already there, watch out. I recently saw a newly married couple and the husband was flirting openly with another woman. Unless something drastic happens, that marriage is headed for disaster.

Is he going to be tender and gentle to you in bed? An unbelieving co-worker once told my sister that after her first sexual encounter, she had trouble walking for a few days because her boyfriend was so rough. In other words, he wasn’t selfless enough to care for the body of the woman he said he loved.

Watch out. Your body needs care and protection.

4. It will impact you mentally. 
Is the man that you’re thinking of going to be a source of worry or will he help you deal with your worries? Is he going to encourage your intellectual development, or will he neglect it? Is he going to value your opinions and listen to what you are thinking, or will he disregard your thoughts? Is he going to help you manage stress so that your mind is not burdened that way, or is he going to let you struggle through issues alone? Is he going to care for you and be thoughtful of you if you are experiencing mental strain, or will he ignore it? I know of a woman who could handle pregnancy and child birth very well physically but postpartum depression took a huge toll on her mind. The husband overlooked it, continuing to have more children, until his wife ended up in a mental institution.

You might think that the intellectual or mental side of a marriage is small. It’s bigger than you think. Consider it seriously.

5. It will impact you relationally. 
How’s your relationship with your mother? Your dad? Do you love them? Does your boyfriend? Fast forward ten years: you tell your husband that your mother is coming for the weekend. Is he excited? Disappointed? Angry? Making snide jokes with his friends? Of course, a husband should come first in your priority of relationships, as you both leave father and mother and cleave to one another. But parents are still a big part of the picture. Whatever negative feelings he has about your parents now will probably be amplified after marriage. Your marriage will either strengthen or damage – even destroy – your relationship with your parents. The people who know you best and love you most right now could be cut out of the picture by a husband who hates them.

It’s the same with sisters and friends. Will they be welcomed, at reasonable times, in your home? Will the guy who you’re with encourage healthy relationships with other women, or will he be jealous of normal, biblical friendships? Will he help you mentor younger women and be thankful when older women mentor you, or will he belittle that?

Don’t sacrifice many good relationships for the sake of one guy who can’t value the people who love you.

So how will your boyfriend do after the vows? Because this is just a sampling of the ways that a husband can bless or curse his wife. The effects are far reaching, long lasting, and either wonderful or difficult. True, there are no perfect men out there. But there are great ones. And it’s better to be single for life than to marry someone who will make your life a burden. Singleness can be great. Marriage to the wrong person is a nightmare. I’ve been in a church parking lot where the pastor had to call the police to protect a wife from a husband who was trying to stop her from worshiping and being with her family. It’s ugly. Don’t be so desperate to get married that your marriage is a grief. If you are in an unhappy marriage, there are ways to get help. But if you’re not married, don’t put yourself in that situation. Don’t marry someone whose leadership you can’t follow. Don’t marry someone who is not seeking to love you as Christ loved the church. Marry someone who knows and demonstrates the love of Christ.

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Photo courtesy of Jose Villa

It's In The Little Things

Here’s a little thought for all the guys and girls out there on this bright Tuesday afternoon. Did you know that guys have a tendency to hunt? Well, we do. It’s an instinct that stems way back from the old days of our cavemen ancestors. They hunt to survive, and it’s a little part of nature that we guys have been born with. While we hunt for a living every day of our lives, we also leave some room to go after the object of our eyes. We concentrate, we focus, we direct all efforts to catch the prey.

That’s no wonder that when we are chasing after a girl, we dedicate 100% of our attention to her. We do our best to get her attention. We think of 1001 ideas to make her day. We call her up, we listen to her stories, buy her coffee, get to know her girlfriends and try hard to impress them. We make every next meeting look like coincidence, when actually we have worked very hard to make it happen. We pick her up, open the door for her, and send her back after every date. And flowers? Yes, the local florist knows are names and numbers by heart. We buy her gifts, we throw her surprises… you name it, we’ll do it. Anything to eventually win her heart.

I’ve seen it times and again. Guys are excellent hunters. More often than not, he will win the object of his affections. Now, on the flip side, the girl in question must feel like she’s the happiest girl on earth. She found the PERFECT guy who understands her, who makes her feel extra special. She found her dream guy. The hunter is the perfect man! But who is left after hunting season is over? The hunter has moved on to other hunting targets – like a career maybe – where he will dedicate another 100% into the hunt, yet again.

Is there something wrong here? Maybe not. Maybe that’s just how we naturally operate. But can something be done about it? Of course it can. So, here’s a little tip for all the hunters out there: the prey may be in your hands today, but lose your focus, and it’ll slip away. Don’t forget that as much as we enjoy the chase, our lady counterparts also enjoy being chased, daily regardless of how long you’ve been together. It won’t be easy, I know (I’ve actually been there…) but if it’s what will keep our relationship strong, guys, we’ve got to do our part! A strong relationship, that’s what we should always hunt for. Not with many different persons, but with the same woman, over and over again.

Written by David Soong
Pictures courtesy of Axioo and Re-post from here.

When God Brings Back Your Past

Kamis, 20 September 2012 
Pagi ini gw kebangun gara-gara suara menggelegar dari nyokap gw. Nyokap gw manggil'in enzo terus. "Enzo sini sayang, kok kamu lemes banget sih. Enzo kok tumben gak mau makan". Gw masi lagi tidur tuh dan gw gak tergerak untuk bangun, soalnya gw pikir uda biasa nyokap gw manggil-manggilin enzo tiap pagi. Sampe nyokap gw tereak super kenceng, "Enzo jangan mati sayang ini mama." Gw langsung loncat bok dari kasur lari buat ngecheck my cutie dog.

Pas gw liat enzo, langsung gw gendong dan bener aja matanya udah sayu banget, lidahnya pucet and his heart beat so slow. Gw panik at the disco deh! Bokap nyokap gw langsung bikinin susu buat netralin mungkin dya keracunan or apa. Tapi tetep enjo gak mau :( Jadi perlu dicekok'in deh. Gw sama dede gw yang cowo sibuk browsing cari vet yang kemungkinan buka soalnya kan pikada hari ini.

Thanks God susu bereaksi cepet di enjo, udah gak pucet lagi lidahnya dan uda mulai mau mamam. Tapi gw tetep bawa ke vet. Ini vet 24 jam, tau dari temen gw dulu dya pernah kasi tau kalo vet ini bagus. Pas gw kesana, enzo di check dll dokternya bilang kalo dya kurang glukosa dikasih beberapa obat tapi basically dya gak in serious condition koq yeay! Vet'nya bagus, dokternya juga berpengalaman. Pulang dari sono, di mobil gw bilang ke temen gw.. Coba kalo dulu lilo gw bawa yah kesini, mungkin dya masi idup. Yang gak tau kejadian lilo, boleh baca disini. Lilo emang gw bawa ke vet juga, tapi vet deket rumah. Pas saat itu gw uda tau vet ini, tapi karena lebih jauh gw pikir pertolongan pertama gw bawa yang deket dulu.

Ketika gw sampe rumah, gw cerita sama nyokap gw keadaan enzo. Gw cerita gw bawa ke vet mana dan dokternya bagus. Terus nyokap gw langsung nyeletuk, coba ya ce dulu kita bawa lilo kesana mungkin dya masi idup. Gw langsung DEG! Nyokap gw berpikiran sama. Padahal gw belon menyuarakan pemikiran gw.

Sabtu, 22 September 2012
Hari ini Ci Erlyn sanjit'an dan gw diajak juga untuk jadi nona manis katanya haha :P Pas lagi otw ke tempat sanjit'nya di tengah jalan gw liat mobil dengan plat nomor B696NIE *Bukan no yang sebenernya yah* Pas liat mobil itu gw langsung deg, soalnya gw curiga itu plat mobil my ex. Ntah kenapa bisa langsung mikir gitu, berdasarkan feeling aja sih. Soalnya angka dan nama yang tertera di mobil itu super mendekati sama angka ultah dan nama my ex.

Gw satu mobil sama temen gw juga, terus gw senggol-senggol dya. Eh liat deh itu mobilnya si A bukan yah? Terus temen gw bilang kayanya iya deh, soalnya dulu dya perna pajang poto di BB picturenya plat nomor dengan huruf belakang NIE yang sama, cuma angkanya berapa temen gw itu gak inget. Dan mobilnya warnanya pun sama kata dya. Temen gw nanya balik ke gw, gw bilang I have no idea soalnya kan BB gw rusak dan I lost all my data termasuk contacts.

Saya langsung diam dan berpikir. Kemaren tuh kita lagi jalan di daerah gading gitu. Dan dulu setaunya gw tentang ex gw, dya jarang banget ke daerah sana. Gw jadi wonder.. Lagi apa dya sekarang, gimana kabar dya. Kalo gw masih jalan sama dya sekarang, gimana yah? Kalo andai aja waktu itu kita udah sama-sama lebih dewasa, apa bakal ends up kaya gini hubungannya? Baca masa struggle gw disini. 

***

Each and everyone of us have different stories about our past. To be honest I don't know why suddenly the memory of my past come back to attack me again. Gw sempet galau dan down for a moment. I thought gw uda bener-bener relain lilo pergi. Gw udah gak pernah nangis sedikitpun kalo inget dya. I thought gw juga uda sebodo amat sama ex gw. Gw gak pernah nyesel karena kita putus, malah I thank God for my single life right now! Tapi kenapa ada tiba-tiba ada kejadian simple begitu gw langsung terusik? Dan kenapa harus bersamaan? Losing lilo is one of the greatest lost for me and breaking up with my ex is one of the biggest turning point in my life. So these two things play a big role in my life. 

Gw terus bergumul sama Tuhan, Tuhan kenapa ya? Bukannya ani uda relain lilo, dan ani juga uda move on sama si A. Jujur aja gw sebel dengan perasaan gw sendiri yang ga bisa gw kontrol ketika tiba-tiba masalah kecil aja bisa membuat gw terusik. Fyi, gw bukan type cewe yang gampang moody, bete, down or drop. Gw suka ketawa-ketawa, type yang yaudalah ya.. dan sangat easy going with what life may bring to me. Tapi sekali saya down, bisa lama gitu huhu. Makanya gw sangat menghindari hal-hal yang bisa bikin gw down.

Terus pulang dari sanjit'an Ci Eyn gw ke gereja karena ada audisi make-up dan ada Mawar Sharon Woman, kebaktian khusus cewe dengan tema if you are a woman, what is your true success? Interesting, isn't it? Sebelum kotbah ada PAW seperti biasa, dan lagu terakhir di worship itu adalah Saat KusembahMu dan lyricnya ada yang nancep banget.

"Nyatakan kemuliaanMu saat kusembahMu"

Dari lyric ini gw sadar, disaat gw lemah dan down gw menemukan pengharapan HANYA di dalam Dia. In order untuk Tuhan menyatakan kemuliaanNya atas hidup gw, gw harus benar-benar mencari wajahNya dan keluar dari comfort zone gw. I really thank God for my life, people around me, my job etc, gw super duper blessed beyond words dan dengan kejadian begini gw bener-bener diingetin kalo gw harus terus selalu menempel di pokok anggur yang benar.

When I flip over my bible, this verse suddenly pop out. 2Corinthians12:10 "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." Dan pas gw skimming baca ayat atasnya, ayat 9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness."

How about you guys? You may ever made mistake in your past, trying hard to forget it and forgive your own self. You may wonder many IF in your life. But as Rick Warren said, we are product of our past but we dont have to be prisoners of it. Dont be sad or regret if suddenly you remember about your past life. Just come to Him and give all your worries, doubts to Him. I believe once upon a time in our life that God may remind us again from our past. Not because we have not move on, but to remind us once we are sinners and through God alone we become a new creations.

He is your strong tower to which you can always go. He will calm your raging sea, and in our weakness He is merciful. He is redeemer of my past and present wrongs. He is holder of my future days to come. He wears my guilt on His shoulders and holds my heart in His hands. He takes my thoughts and fears and hangs them on the arms of Calvary. Yes God, Jesus it is YOU! Nothing in this world can satisfy, Jesus You are the cup that won't run dry!!

“Never be afraid when God brings back your past. Let your memory have its way with you. It is a minister of God bringing its rebuke and sorrow to you. God will turn what might have been into a wonderful lesson of growth for the future.”

Oswald Chambers - My Utmost For His Highest

My Dear One

Photo by Jose Villa 
Quotes by Unknown Author
Edited by me :)

My Beloved

I found this wonderful letter when I did some browsing. And it amazes me :) Sometimes, in the middle of discussion and chit chat time with my girl friends. There pop out a question and statement like this: "Do real man after God's own heart still exists? Where are they? And are they real?"

No doubt at this very moment we seldom find a man who really patiently wait for his future princess. Besides that, we found lots of guy out there chasing girl without attention to get married, only wanna to have-fun time.

And this letter remind me, that a real man after God's own heart is still exist and he wait patiently for his future wife. This letter so beautiful, please take some time to read it, grab a cup of tea and enjoy :) All the gorgeous picture taken by Jose Villa.

My Beloved,
I want you to know that I’m waiting for you. I can’t wait to meet you.
To see your eyes, to see your smile & to know about your life.
Wherever you are right now, what ever you’re doing, I’m praying for you. 
The thought of you excites me.
I can’t wait to serve & pursue Christ along side with you.
I can’t wait to hold your hand, and just pray with you.
I promise you I will always play my guitar and I will sing you songs.
Whats even better, I can’t wait to worship along side with you with our voices.
I can’t wait to love you, adore you, cherish you and take care of you.
I’m excited to know everything about you. Everything that makes YOU.
Every single detail that makes you perfect for me. I know I will appreciate those things because it’s you. 
I want to know what makes you happy, what makes you sad. 
What makes your day. Your favorite food, drink, music, movie.
Anything, and everything about you.

So I can serve you, love you, and take care of you the best way I can.
I can’t wait to touch your face when you laugh, cry, make jokes, being silly.
I can’t wait to pray, fast, drink coffee, eat carelessly, watch movie, sleep in till we are both late for work, cooking together, make you breakfast in bed, you making me breakfast in bed, drive our first car, live in our first home, raise our own family, seeking God together as a family.

I can’t wait to experience trials & suffering with you, grow close together with God.
I can’t wait to hold you close to me at night. Till we fall asleep.
I can’t wait to give you my ALL, everything of me to you.
I can’t wait to lay myself down for you, just as Christ laid down His life for me.
I long and desire for you my beloved.
I can’t wait to meet you and spend the rest of my earthly days with you.
I can’t wait to love you. 
I can’t wait to show you this letter in the future when we finally meet.
But for now, I want you to know.
I'm patiently waiting for you.. 

-Mark Muldez-
Taken from here.

Wasn't that so inspiring? That is definitely what I want my Prince to be like :P Let us all be praying for our future husbands to grow in their walk with the Lord, and to help them to have hearts after God's own heart.

And while we are waiting, lets we embrace our single life to bring out the best of ourselves, to discover and develop the talents and attributes with which we are blessed by God to become a blessing for our future prince.

Last but not least wait patiently for Him to bring your prince in His perfect time! Happy waiting, believe me such a man worth the wait :)

What a Godly Man Looks Like

Photo by Jose Villa

I would use these words to describe this wonderful man of virtue...

Noble, chivalrous, courageous, fun, true, wise, loyal, passionate, protector, gentle, humble, strong, self-sacrificial, adventurous, patient, loving, kind, serving, intelligent, polite, family centered, lover of truth, steeped in the Word of God, prayerful and hospitable.

These are not the kind of guys that you always notice first in a crowd. But they are the ones that you admire most once you do notice them. They are the ones who go to the person sitting on the side of the church looking left out, and shake hands with a smile. They are the ones that you will find at home instead of in youth group. You will see them sitting with their folks rather than passing notes in the back of church with their friends. You will find them helping in the kitchen or taking out the trash, walking the ladies to their cars and carrying diaper bags even if they don't belong to them.

You'll find them with other guys, in deep discussions about theology, worldview philosophies, politics, and books rather than just talking about the latest football games, computer games and girls. Yet, they can converse on these topics too when needed :-). These are the guys who walk on the outside of the sidewalk to protect the lady whom they might be with, and are always watching for ways to take care of her as a sister. When looking for a mate, they want the one who is at home (or wants to be) and "hangs out" with her mom and siblings more than her buddies.

They love a good time, but it usually entails sword fighting, ultimate Frisbee, board games, hiking, touch football, night tag, water balloon fights and G rated movies rather than sports teams, dancing at the bar or movies with violence and sex-who cares if they are in their 20's! A big night on the town includes taking the siblings to the grocery store, the library or out for miniature golf. They are passionate about the things of God and they do not bend on their convictions, no matter what others may say or do. They don't care that some might see them as "goody-goody" or strange for not dating or for spending so much time with their family-they are proud of it!

You might see them on the road at 6:30am rushing to get to a 7:00am catechism class, even though no one is making him go. You will find them in family worship, singing or playing the piano, teaching God's word to his family or sitting at his fathers feet. They write marvelous heart felt letters of encouragement when needed and yet might not say too much by way of personal stuff to many. They keep confidences. You might easily see him with a crowd of little ones about him as he helps to teach them something or play with them. He will watch an old movie and play cards with his siblings or parents ,even when he would rather be playing "Stronghold Crusader" on his laptop.

He would give up his very life for his savior, his ideals and his family. He makes ice cream floats of all kinds-even strange concoctions- and gives his mom tea in bed. He bakes birthday cakes for his friends with his sister's recipes. He learns follow a recipe and make things in the crock-pot because he wants to be able to at least take care of his wife when the baby comes. You are likely to find him under a car, on top of a roof, mowing a lawn, mending the fence, writing a book, working the night shift to help the family-anywhere that will require hard work, initiative and drive-but not for his own sake.

They are so admired and dearly loved by their families because they are an indispensable source of joy and encouragement, strength of character and servitude. They are never truly independent, because they have come to that wonderful place in the Christian life where they realize, that they must be dependent on God alone in His sovereignty, and the people that He has placed in his life.

Therefore, he is a true man's man. A giant. One to look up to. A hero. A leader among his peers. Strong, steady, dependable and one that you could place your life and the lives of your children into his capable and loving hands-with no regrets or fears.

-Kathy Gruben-

It's Been A Year

It's been a year!! Amazingly how time flies!! Puasa pacaranku selesai sudah.. Apasih puasa pacaran? Puasa pacaran, kaya yang dibahas di lady in waiting chapter 9, baca disini yah.

Untuk gw secara pribadi, kenapa gw mau mengambil waktu setahun puasa pacaran? Karena gw bener2 pingin pulihin hati dari segala jenis sakit hati, anger, hatred, pengen nemuin my calling and dig deeper into His words. Jadi selama setahun ini gw bener2 tutup hati rapat2 dan gak mikirin sama relationship thingy.

Is it hard to guard your heart? The answer is yes! Awal2 gw bingung, perlu gak yah puasa pacaran segala selama setaun? Gimana kalo I miss the chance, si pangeran lewat gitu LOL. Kayanya ga perlu deh sampe kaya gitu buang2 waktu. Buttttt thank God ada ci Erlyn yg selalu ingetin dan jawab semua pertanyaan gw when doubts feel my heart.

Gw membuat standard2 juga batasan2 untuk nanti pas gw mau mulai suatu hubungan. Ini beberapa list yg gw buat untuk menjaga kemurnian puasa pacaran selama setaun:

1. Gak bbm/ telponan intens sama cowo.. yg bisa menyebabkan salah paham/ ketergantungan
2. Gak pergi berdua sama cowo kemanapun dengan alasan apapun (kecuali nebeng pulang)
3. Tidak memberikan pin bb or contact ke orang yg gw tidak kenal/ dunia maya
4. To dress in modesty in every situation
5. Always welcome and friendly, not arrogant.. but still draw the line
6. To see fellow Christian guys as brother in Christ rather than potential man

Ketika gw buat standard2 ini, untuk menjalankannya butuh lots of sacrifice. Yes it is true easier said than done. Gw belajar yg namanya commitment! Setiap kali ada yang iseng2 mao ngenalin, gw lgsg dgn strict say "sorry, gw bener2 lagi gak mau dan gak mikirin belon saatnya." Ada masa2 dimana gw berasa sepiiii.. pengen disayang-sayang, ketika lagi ada masalah pengen cerita2. Tapi disini gw bener2 belajar untuk put God first in every area of my life.

Dan hal yg bikin gw sedih or down itu seringkali adalah respon dari temen2 gw sendiri.. Mereka bilang, "gimana caranya mo kenal sama orangnya kalo gak pergi berdua, sekali2 gpp lah." "Gpp kok kenalan telponan or bbman." Itu membuat gw berpikir, apa standard yg gw bikin terlalu muluk2 yah? Sampe gw perna dibilang calon pacar gw ntar pendeta.. Astaga! But, I remind my self again.. someday I gonna tell my future hubby how I lived my life before I meet him.. And I hope, when I tell him about how I lived my life dia gak akan regret karena gw bener2 trying my best to keep my heart only for him. So I wont lower my standard!! Dan standard ini akan tetap gw pegang walo puasa pacaran ini uda lewat. Ini akan jadi pedoman gw, karena my next one will be my last one. I will wait for my Prince In Knight Shining Armor :p

Dari puasa ini apa yang gw dapet? Buanyakkkk, gw bener2 belajar untuk feel content and secure in God alone, in His loving arms I found refuge. He is the strong tower to which I can always go. He is rock of safety where I can always hide. Dan belajar, kalau goal dari hidup ini bukan marriage ajah.. I used to think that marriage is the highest calling and goal that every woman should achieve. Tapi I finally realize kaya yg ci Shinta bilang, "Singleness is a calling as surely as mariage or parenthood, and one calling is NOT greater than the another."

So the conclusion is.. wait for a man worth waiting for and be a woman worth fighting for! Ci Erlyn pernah bilang, selama masa single harus fokus dan fokus. Benahin diri in and out, dan nanti akan glow dengan sendirinya. Sinar yang begitu terang gak akan bisa disembunyikan kan? And I truly believe, the right woman will attract the right man. Jadi jangan cuma nuntut mau cowo begini dan begitu! Be that kind of woman. Tumbuhin karakter2 yg kamu mau liat nantinya ada di pasanganmu. God will give you the right person in the right place at the right time. Gw belajar satu hal, gw gak perlu tuh pusing-pusing cari cowo atau TP2 karena King of all Kings loves me and His unfailing love more than enough! I used to believe that unconditional love just a myth and He proved me wrong :D Wait patienly for Him to act.. and we as a woman just need to REACT not to ACT.

I still cant believe it that one year has passed. And yes Im enjoying my single life to the fullest. Dan malah jadi takut untuk perubahan lagi.. I scared to leave my comfort zone T_T Hadeh rempong ya.. Tapi seorang yg dewasa tidak akan takut terhadap perubahan. Karena perubahan adalah salah satu dari proses pertumbuhan.. So I will not scared! Tuhan beri ani hati yang baru, yang selalu siap dibentuk huhu.

I encourage single ladies, lets we live our life to the fullest.. Apalagi masa2 single kita, jangan pernah disia2kan karena gak akan balik dua kali. Masa2 single itu dimana kita bisa all out lakuin apa aja tanpa harus mikir urus anak ini itu. Dimana bisa nemuin callingmu tanpa harus ada penyesuaian dengan org lain, esp lawan jenis. Semangat!!

The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian does make me a different kind of woman. —Elisabeth Elliot

Ladies, Few Things You Must Know Before Dating

My favorite author all the time, Myles Munroe. I love his writing soo muchhhh! Like I said earlier here. Waiting and Dating by Myles Munroe is the book about relationship that I love the most so far comparing to other books. Not the other author not good enough, but I like Munroe's styles of writing :) So here please enjoy the video!



The first thing men need is not a woman. The most important thing a men need is a presence of God. And a woman should meet you in the presence!! WOW..
Pay more attention di menit-menit ke 6.. nancep bow..

Only Once In Your Life

Only once in your life, I truly believe...
You find someone who can completely turn your world around.

You tell them things that you've never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can't wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful.

There is never any pleasure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it's like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn't exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day's work and always brings a smile to your face.

In their presence, there's no need for continuous conversation, but you find you're quiet content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon.

You open your heart knowing that there's a chance it may be broken one day in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that's so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.

-Bob Marley-