A Letter To Single Girls

Dear Single Girl,

I don’t know you personally, yet, but there are a few things I want to tell you with the hope that I will get to know you some day. Actually, there are 5 things I want you to know:

1. How to get a man’s attention. The guy that you are looking for isn’t attracted to charm as much as he is Godliness because beauty fades but Godliness GROWS (1 Peter 3:3-5). I know that the culture will tell you that guys are turned away and intimidated by girls that love Jesus and have strong values and convictions. Culture is wrong; boys may be turned away by strong convictions, but men are not. Be the woman God has called you to be, and a godly man will notice.

2. Run from “Prince Charming”. Some girls seem to give attention to every smooth talker and cool dresser that comes their way. Please don’t do that; be patient and wait on a man who is concerned with pursuing Jesus, not another trophy. Only give the GROWING, God fearing man a chance to pursue you. Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain (Prov 31:30).

3. I am just a guy, not a god. A guy will crumble under the weight of being your god. No other person can complete you or make you happy. There are lots of great physical and emotional benefits that come from a relationship, but none of it is enough to sustain a healthy loving marriage if your faith is not in Jesus. No guy will complete you, so don’t put him on that pedestal (he will fall).

4. Don’t wait on me, pursue Jesus. From my male perspective, there is nothing more attractive than a woman being obedient to Jesus and taking the risk to follow Jesus wherever He leads. Too many times I notice girls in the church just sitting and waiting on a man to come and rescue them from a life of boredom. When it comes time for me to pick a partner, I want somebody that can follow me on an adventure, not someone that is used to doing nothing and complaining about the fact that no one is interested in them. Pursue Jesus and I will pursue you when He gives me the green light.

5. Time is not running out. Singleness is a gift, not a curse. You want to be beautiful? Put your hope in God and don’t give way to fear; trust his timing (1 John 4:18). Don’t waste your single years by always waiting on what is next and turning yourself into a man chaser. Let’s follow God right now and trust Him to take care of the next. God is sovereign and able to direct both of us to each other when the time is right.

Until Then,
A Single Guy

Reblog from here.

Lesson Learned: Taking Him For Granted

My very first lesson learned :D Refer from my post here. Pas lagi baca-baca diary, terus ketemu halaman ini. Udah dari February lalu haha. Gambarnya mesti di klik biar bisa baca jelas, maklum tulisan saya super mini. 

What's written there yah basically gw say sorry to God kalo selama ini baik secara sadar atau tidak sadar saya take Ko Y for granted. Apa yang dimaksud dengan taking him for granted? Jadi yah, kalo gw lagi bete bad mood spanning tinggi tingkat dewa dewi. Biasanya yang selalu kena itu Ko Y. Dia bisa gw sensiin, gw jutekin, gw galakin or even parahnya gw diemin.

Praise God gw udah jadi lebih sadar, kalo gw sering menjadikan Ko Y pelampiasan gw selama ini. Ini gw capture dan simpen karena disana dia bilang, kenapa aku kena lagi, aku apes banget. Ini suatu tamparan banget buat gw!! Sama yang dia bilang, aku bisa di betein, aku harus siap-siap. Uhhh gw langsung kaya ketiban batu!! Aslinya ini tuh gw bete karena gw stress cari frame gitu, uda lama si casenya. Tapi masi tetep gw simpen soalnya reminder banget! Kata-kata dia walo ditulis dengan baik tanpa ada kesan marah or menyindir, bener-bener nyadarin gw betapa jahat dan kezamnya gw LOL.

Kenapa harus Ko Y? Karena gw tau he is the one that very understanding that patience enough when it comes to handle nagging me. He is the one who always faithful enough to listen all my grumbles and complains. And he really know how to chill me down, which is.. to fully lend an ears that truly listened and concern.

Cewe yah, sensitif banget kan. Kalo lagi bad mood, ada satu or dua hal aja yang gak berjalan dengan semestinya, bisa langsung bikin gw bete abis. Apalagi kalo PMS!! I used to be believe kalo benernya PMS doesnt exists, why? Coz happiness is a choice. We have the ability to choose to be happy, despite how painful the PMS is. Tapi gimana donk, kadang beneran deh PMS tuh bikin sensi jadi naik tingkat dewa haha. Semua cewe yang setuju angkat tangan! And I can hear all the boys shout, woman is truly complicated. HAHA.

Terus kemaren itu setelah saya jutekin dia (untuk kesekian kalinya) gw minta maap. Ko maap ya aku tadi bete gak jelas. Terus dia nanya, aku salah apa? Gw jawab, gak sih aku yang salah kamu gak salah apa-apa. Dia nanya lagi, kamu lagi dapet ya? Gw jawab kagak sih, baru aja selesai. Terus dia bilang, lain kali kasih tau kalo lagi dapet jadi aku bisa siap-siap.

Toenkkkk pas denger dia jawab gitu, gw jadi gak enak ati bangetttt -.- Terus gw bener-bener langsung say sorry lagi and promise in the future bakal try my best tuk manage my emotions and my action as well. Dan minta maaf sedalam-dalamnya. Lucky me, I got the very understanding guy.. He replied, ya gpp koko seneng kalo kamu ada belajar sesuatu lagi.

Well, disini gw belajar kalo cewe itu harus punya:
1. A gentle spirit
Roh yang lemah lembut. Jadi cewe yang punya hati buat selalu belajar, mau diajar, mau ditegur, no grumble and no complain.
Kadang kita cewe selalu mau jadi nomor satu. Bukan cuma always to be number one, tapiii we also want to be right. Agree with me? Lets be honest :D
Kemaren itu pastor yang kotbah bilang gini, in marriage life, there's alot of things that cant meet the meeting point. Disaat itulah spirit of submission dan kerelaan melepaskan hak sangat dibutuhkan. To let your husband be the leader, tugas kita menunduk.

2. A quiet spirit
Roh yang tentram membangun atmosphere of comfort. Gw notice, pas gw review balik si Ko Y selalu ada bilang aku siap-siap. Pas yang gw bete di capture itu sekitar bulan February, disana dia bilang aku harus siap-siap. Dan yang gw bete baru-baru ini, dia juga bilang biar aku bisa siap-siap.
Ya ampyunn ani, kalooo sampe married gw masih begini terus sih siapapun suami dan sesabar apapun dia pasti gak bakal mau pulang rumah lah. Kenapa gak mo pulang rumah? Karena secara gak langsung gw buat rumah kaya maen togel. Kalo lagi happy ya disambut baik, kalo lagi bete ya disambut seadanya. Suami mana coba yang mau pulang rumah dengan dagdigdug kek maen togel, keep guessing, hari ini gimana ya keadaannya? Harusnya kan, we as woman its one of our responsibility to make a house become resting zone. There will be plenty of time that our husband face troubles and got pressure. They need support, bukan ditodong wkwk. When he is so exhausted, where he wanna be? It should be HOME.

Ayo ani, gak boleh nagging, gak digampar udah bagus. Kadang gw remind my own self :P Haha. Dan pelan-pelan gw belajar, saya ini bukan pengacara dan Ko Y bukan terdakwa :P Jadi gak sepantasnya gw salah-salahin dia terus hwhw. Gw juga belajar selain gak taking him for granted, gw belajar untuk selalu menaruh Tuhan di tempat pertama di setiap saat di setiap harinya. Ketika gw ga seneng sama ko Y, gw akan minta baik-baik. Tapi kalo gak dikasih juga ya udalah eke minta nangis-menangis sama Tuhan. Instead of pushing or asking Ko Y too far. Dia kan juga manusia gak bisa menuhin semua my expectation.

Aniweii, sesampainya gw di Semarang gw mampir main ke lawang sewu. Mayan angker sih haha. Pas ajak Ko Y ke lawang sewu dia ogah gitu, terus gw uda hampir bete :P Dia bilang, orang semarang aja tuh gak ada yang mau kesana karena gak ada apa-apa, justru orang luar semarang aja yang pengen tau. Dalem ati gw, ya iyalah gw mau tau orang gw jarang ke semarang huh. Tapi instead ngeluarin kata-kata nyolot, I beg him and it works wkwkwk. Yeay, we woman do really has great power over a man. So becareful ladies, use your power wisely.

Marry Your Daughter

Very soon I'm hoping that.. 
I Can marry your daughter 
And make her my wife 
I want her to be the only girl that I love for the rest of my life 
And give her the best of me 'till the day that I die

I'm gonna marry your princess
And make her my queen
She'll be the most beautiful bride that I've ever seen 

I can't wait to smile 
When she walks down the isle 
On the arm of her father 

Isn't that very sweet? This is one of the sweetest song I've ever heard!! I'm so touched and agree with Sylvia says, which girl doesn't want this? I know this song from her blog, here. Alrite, call me a hopeless romantic girl. Yes, I am. I am in love with love :P And how I adore love story with great ending!

Since the day that we met 
I'm scared to death to think of what would happen if she ever left
So don't you ever worry about me ever treating her bad 
I've got most of my vows done so far 
So bring on the better or worse
And tell death do us part 
There's no doubt in my mind

I really love this song, the lyrics is so beautiful! It's true to every words and this guy must be very sweet! My favorite sentence, Im gonna marry your princess and make her my queen.. AWW! And here is the video, do enjoy!

Bikini Has Power

What do you think about bikini girls? Hehe. For me, gw gak pede sih pake nya soalnya saya merasa bikini lebih minim daripada bra and cd :P Kalo liat cewe-cewe yang pake bikini di Indo, kaya Bali gitu yah gw sih biasa aja tapi cenderung ke agak risih. Why? Soalnya Indonesia bukan negara bule gitu uy. Jadi walo di Bali pun, kalo orang Indo yang pake tetep ajah diliatin kan.

Jadi pake bikini itu salah gak sih? What do you think? In my opinion, depends on the place and the occasion juga yah. Kalo lu pake bikini di pegunungan or mall kan swt abis. Me, myself pernah kepikiran untuk swimming with bikini in Maldives during honeymoon :D Muahaha.

And come across this video in Ci Nelly's FB timeline. So interesting! Its no longer right or wrong wearing a bikini, tapii apakah itu berkenan? Apakah itu sempurna?? Bikini has power. What is the power? Watch this video!!



Analyst at the national geographic concluded the bikinis really do inspire men to see women as objects. As something to be used rather than someone to connect with. So it seems that wearing a bikini does give a woman power. The power to shut down a man's ability to see her as a person, but rather as an object. 

Modesty isn’t about hiding our self, its about revealing dignity. We were made beautiful in His images and likeness. How will you use your beauty?

I believe it is a loving act to try and dress in a way that helps a man see a woman as a person rather than an object. Of course men are responsible for their thoughts and actions, no matter what a woman chooses to wear. BUT we can help them when we choose to dress is certainly a worthy consideration :)

As a woman, yes we should be free to wear what we want. YET, do you want to gain attention from others with your body or with your intellect and personality? Choose wisely ladies.

This Kind Of Man

I am typical a hopeless romantic girl who loves to dream about anything sweet and of course romantic. I grew up with disney princess stories all over my head and I remember each of the story very well. Cinderella is my favorite with her charming prince and blue gown and of course how her life change once she get married, a very significant change. A huge castle with hundred of maids and luxury jewelry. Isn't it so nice? From nothing to everything.

I used to believe that one day the man of my dreams will sweep me off my feet. Of course not a prince charming in white horse, nevertheless a man riding white porsche. Nowadays we don't need a horse anymore right? Do we?

A good looking man with 5C is all I always dream of. The essential of 5C's are cash, car, credit card, condominium and country club membership. A man that I think will be a good and reliable husband.

A very romantic man that will never tired to give me little surprise, a man that will never ignore my request, complains and questions. A man that will always make sure the petrol car is full before I drive my car away. A man with his sweet words. A man that will never bored or sleep in theatre while accompany me to watch drama musical. A man that will waiting patiently for me to act.

And as life goes by, life bought me a lesson and I learn it hardway. I know that I am too naive back then. And I can't deny my self that I am still a dreamer and deep down inside my heart, I still believe in happily ever after.

However, not with the 5C's kind of man or with his sweet words. Yet, with this kind of man who whisper this little prayer.

Money can't buy you happiness and guaranty that you will have a happily ever after relationship. A man who's waiting patiently for God to act is more reliable rather than a man who's only waiting for you. Because he fully know that God timing is the best. There's no perfect man but there's a man who is willing to learn how to be perfect. If he loves God with all his might, you can be sure that he will love you as well :) And you will see other things (material thing) as a bonus. I have been there and done that. I have learnt my lesson well and still learning.

Mobil Bagus, Kelakuan Minus

About a month ago. 
Gw lagi nyetir di daerah macet gitu sih karena deket dengan pertigaan. Ada dua jalur di jalan itu, jalur yang berlawanan arah ya bukan sejajar gitu. Arah yang gw tuju itu super macettt, sedangkan arah yang berlawanan lancar-lancar jaya. Terus tiba-tiba ada mobil jeep gede keren lawan arah karena mau nyalip mobil belakang gw. Tapi karena mobil di belakang gw itu gak ngasih, jadilah si jeep ini menimbulkan kemacetan di arah sebaliknya yang sebelonnya lanca-lancar aja. Liat itu gw geremmm abisss. Langsung lah saya mengeluarkan kata-kata ihh pliss deh mobil bagus tapi kelakuan minus. 

Tapi rasa gerem gw ini masih belom apa-apa dibandingkan kejadian beberapa minggu lalu.. di parkiran central park mall.

About a week ago. 
Gw sama temen gw lagi mau parkir di luaran mall central park yang seharian cuma bayar 5.000 rupiah haha :P Tapi biasanya privilege ini khusus untuk mobil-mobil yang berurusan dengan ruko or gedung tribecca. Karena GMS terletak di tribecca level 1, jadilah plat mobil saya sudah tercatat dan terkenal baik sama satpam'nya :D

Dan karena parkiran ini terkenal murah, pasti banyak lah ya yang mau parkir disini. Kalo parkir di mall kan 4.000/ jam. Berasa banget kan bedanya :S Nah praise God, kosong tuh tempat parkirinya. Dan kosong cuma satu pula, indeed God really care with every little things in my life :) Terus si satpam bilang: tunggu luar ya non, satu-satu masuknya. Jadi tempat parkirnya tuh kira-kira begini:

Yasuda, saya menunggu manis dalam mobil. Terus tiba-tiba ada satpam lain yang suruh mobil gw maju. Gw bilang, saya mau parkir pak. Satpamnya bilang, iya maju dulu soalnya ada bus gede mau belok and gak cukup. Terus gw maju sambil liat lewat spion. Dalem ati, segede apa nih bus sampe gak bisa lewat. Ehhh ternyataa ada mobill CRV dibelakang gw yang stop juga. Ya jelas aja lah gak muat kalo ada dua mobil bejejer berenti. 

Terus gw bilang ke temen gw, ngapain tuh CRV berenti juga? Kenapa gak dia aja yang belok juga jadi gw gak perlu maju. Toh jelas-jelas gw uda kasih sen untuk parkir. Dan karena adanya tuh CRV, gw diposisi mentok gak bisa kemana-mana. Gak bisa parkir. Maju mentok, mundur pun ada dia. Bahkan setelah bus'nya belok nih CRV gak ada niat or tanda-tanda untuk mundur or jalan.

Terus gw bilang ke temen gw, jangan-jangan nih orang mau parkir juga. Ehhh ternyataa, gw belom selsai ngomong pun tuh mobil uda masuk ke tempat parkir mau parkir. GERAM!

Gw uda buka seat belt dan siap-siap mau turun, sampe nih CRV bener-bener ambil tempat parkir gw. Sorry, I am not yaudalah-kasih-dia-aja that kind of girl. Gw uda siapin kata-kata manis tapi menohok. Jelas-jelas saya udah antri duluan dan main asal serobot aja, jelas tau cari parkir gak gampang!! Gw gak bakal maki-maki or marah-marah gimana juga sih, ya malu la ya bow. Udah hair dryer'an, pake heels, pake rok mau gereja tapi kelakuan kaya singa :S 

And God prove me that I shouldn't do that either. He remind me that what He prepared, no one can take it. What He opens, no one can close; and what He closes, no one can open (Rev3:7). Si satpam'nya gak kasih nih CRV untuk parkir, dia bilang kalo ibu ini uda nunggu dari tadi dan uda duluan. Terjadi perdebatan sekitar 2 menitan sampe si satpam juga agak naik suaranya. Tapi akhirnya CRV itu pergi dan saya yang dapet. CIHUYYYY!! Pengen rasanya gw lempar telor, biar my very first list di bucket list terpenuhi wakakaka.

Dan dari kejadian ini membuat saya berdecak lagi dan ngoceh ke temen gw, ampun dehhh mobil bagus tapi kelakuan minus. Iya bok, mobilnya bagus lah secara CRV new gitu! Dan yang nyetir juga mayan ganteng (keliatan pas buka kaca wakakak). Tapi gw langsung ilfil to the max deh. Amid-amid punya pacar yang kelakuannya minus. Dari perkara kecil gini ajah uda keliatan kualitas dan intergrity dia gimana. Pertama nyerobot parkiran orang, kedua dia jelas tau yang nyetir cewe dan dia udah salah terus gak mau ngalah :S

Jadi inget kata Ci Lenna, kemaren pas lagi BBM'an dia bilang:

Cari cowo harus yang bener-bener baik. Bukan cuma ke kamu or keluarga kamu aja baiknya. Tapi ke tukang ojek juga harus baik hehe. 

BeuhhHhh bener banget nih! Males banget gak sih punya pacar yang baiknya manisnya cuma ke kita doank :S Dari tuh cowo debat sama si satpam, sampe si satpam nada tinggi and rada sewot gitu, gw jadi mikir.. Jika kita tidak bisa menggebrak meja di depan seorang jendral, mengapa kita bisa menggebrak meja di depan seorang waiter? Have a humble heart!

Mobil keren tapi kelakuan minus, really teach me a lesson. Let a man's character and integrity be his currency and you will find that a lot of "rich" guys are actually bankrupt! And please bear in mind ladies, do not choose a man because he has the things that money can buy, choose him because he has the things that money can't buy! 

The World Needs Men

The world needs men... (and women)
Who cannot be bought
Whose Word is their bond
Who put character above wealth
Who possess opinions and a will
Who are larger than their vocations
Who do not hesitate to take chances
Who will not lose their individuality in a crowd
Who will be as honest in small things as in big things
Who will make no compromise with wrong
Whose ambitions are not confined to their own selfish desires
Who will not say they do it “because everybody else does it”
Who are true to their friends through good report and evil report,
in adversity as well as in prosperity
Who do not believe that shrewdness,
cunning and hard-headedness are the best qualities for winning success
Who are not ashamed or afraid to stand for the truth when it is unpopular
Who say “no” with emphasis, although the rest of the world says “yes”
A poem by Ted Engstrom

***
Are you willing to be that man? Can you be that man?
The world needs you to be that man.

Love VS Marriage

I re-post this post from my friend's blog here. Do pay a visit her blog as well, many of worth-to-read post. I love the article coz it give an eye opening and insight. Please enjoyyyy!

***

Story: "Difference in Love and Marriage" 

A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the field, go through first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders... may be there is a bigger one later.
Then he saw another bigger one... But may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him.
Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start to realize that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.

So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.

The teacher told him, "this is love... You keep looking for a better one, but when later you realize, you have already miss the person..."

"What is marriage then?" the student asked.

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to the teacher. 

The teacher told him, "This time you bring back a corn. You look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get... This is marriage."

***

Gw setuju banget sama perumpamaan di atas. Gw personally, banyak banget ngeliat temen-temen sekitar gw. Yang udah mateng secara financial, character and spiritual tapi belon juga merid. Well, gw gak mau ngejudge mereka pemilih etc. Tentunya banyak sekali faktor yang menentukan. Panggilan single tiap orang ituh berbeda. Ada yang married muda bangett, ada juga yang normal. Kenapa gw bilang panggilan? Karena baik single, married, or to be a mom is all the same calling. No calling higher than the other. And there's time for every season.

For me, masa single gw adalah masa dimana gw bisa all out untuk Tuhan, pelayanan, ikud aktivitas dari pagi mpe malem, memperbaikin diri, try many new things, pokonya all out deh coz masi sangat energetic ditunjang dengan fisik yang masih kuat. Dan ketika gw udah jadi istri dan mommy, pelayanan gw di gereja mungkin udah gak bisa se'maximum ketika gw masi youth. Udah gak bisa tuh dari pagi ampe malem di gereja, coz gw perlu take care my hubby and my kids. Dan pelayanan gw yang terbesar akan menjadi faithful wifey and wise mommy. Dan mungkin ketika my kids start to grow up, I will be back to minister at church again. Udah lebih banyak waktu luang di luar rumah juga. That's why I said.. there's really time for every season. And no calling higher than the other as long as you all out for Jesus, live the life as He directs you to live and life alive.

Nah tapi dari cerita ini juga, gw diingatkan untuk kita para single ladies. Seringkali kita too enjoy with our single-life. Dan bener-bener gak peduliin masalah pasangan hidup. Ada yang fokus mengejar karir, dan ada beberapa cowo yang sungguh takut akan Tuhan mengejarnya tapi malah dicuekin dan super gak digubris karena super enjoy with life now. Nah ntar pas uda thirty over something pas uda mau merid, tapi lakinya udah gak ada gimana. Karena pasangan hidup itu pilihan, baca penjelasan ci Lia disini.

Loh bukannya kita harus life our live to the fullest? Yes it is true. Tapi juga jangan lupa harus sensitif dan peka. Kalo masih kuliah/ sekolah, belon kerja ya mending jangan memulai hubungan dulu. Tunggu sampe bener-bener mateng secara karakter dan spiritual. Jangan membangkitkan asmara sebelum pada waktunya, ntar berabe. Dan kalo emank masih mau bener-bener fokus melayani Tuhan and masih mau merid 5tahun lagi yah gapapa. I am a firm believer, pacaran cukup 1-2tahun ajah. Gak perlu lama-lama. Karena pacaran lama gak menjamin kenal orangnya. Pacaran harus tegas dan tau tujuannya untuk pernikahan. Yang setuju angkat tangan!! Haha. Dan pastikan juga kita sendiri pun udah mateng dan udah tau jelas visi misi dalam hidup kita tuh apa. Jangan cuma asal main consider karena udah kegatelan juga wakaka. In this case, we really need to counsel with kakak rohani/ pembimbing etc. Karena mereka yang bisa liat dan nilai, apakah kita uda ready for relationship?

And my point here is.. eventho kita lagi super enjoy sama single life, tapi benernya udah siap dan ready untuk sebuah relationship. Ketika ada cowo yang sungguh menanti dan sungguh takut akan Tuhan. You should really take it seriously and pray hard about it. Wether he got the chance or not. Jangan mentang-mentang tuh cowo setia menunggu. Terus kitanya santai-santai. Ntar in the end ditolak, kasian juga kan? How long is he willing to wait until kamu yakin? Or berapa lama kamu butuh waktu untuk give him an answer? We might thinking masih adalah ntar cowo lain yang lewat. Well, diatas langit selalu ada langit dan nature'nya manusia = tidak akan pernah puas. So my conclusion is.. ketika ada cowo yang bener-bener sincere dan sepadan ya harus di consider dan didoakan, jangan dilewatkan begitu saja mentang-mentang lagi enjoy your life now ato adanya beberapa minor point yang gak sesuai harapan kita. (Well, im talking to myself too) 

Alrite, maybe we can let him go. Can continually enjoy our life, happy-happy. Tapi not sure when will another good guy appear. Coz timing is God's mystery. Ketika ada cowo yang sincere dan sepadan tuh harus banget didoakan dan take seriously no matter how much you enjoy your single life now. Karena menemukan yang sepadan tuh gampang-gampang susah loh. Sepadan itu apa sih? Menurut gw sepadan itu, sama berat. Punya visi misi yang sama. Pernikahan itu idenya Tuhan, jadi ketika Dia mempertemukan dengan calon PH pasti juga dengan suatu visi. Gak cuma merid untuk beranak-beranak doank. Tapi biar rencana Tuhan turut tergenapi di dalam pernikahanmu. Misalnya gini: visi gw dari Tuhan itu so specific untuk pastoring menetap di Jakarta misalnya. Dan ada cowo yang lagi deketin gw itu visinya menjadi misionaris. Ini sama-sama dari Tuhan loh dan gak ada yang salah. Tapi ya kita gak sejalan kalo gak bisa saling mendukung. Karena untuk beberapa orang, Tuhan bener-bener kasih calling yang sangat specific. Baca disini untuk lebih jelas tentang visi misi.

Well, no other words needed to explain lah ya. Coz we truly know how hard it is to find someone that share the same burden and heart for Jesus, for the Kingdom of God. And waiting is the hardest part too. That's why, jangan sampe this statement happen in our life.

"You keep looking for a better one, but when later you realize, you have already miss the person."

Wait in God alone, wait patiently for Him to act and be wise :) And one thing to remember as much as you want to plan your life, it has a way of surprising you with unexpected things that will make you happier than you originally planned. That's what you call GOD'S PLAN.

You Should Date A Girl Who Reads

Date a girl who reads. 

Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes, who has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Taken from here.

Find a girl who reads. 

You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she has found the book she wants. You see that weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a secondhand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow and worn.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book. 

Buy her another cup of coffee. 
Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas, for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry and in song. (LOL so true, and I love it when people give me books instead of clothes or perfume. And cards with thoughtful words always touch the deepest of my heart) Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.
Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. (I don't agree with this. Unless your girlfriend is Rihanna, I am not gonna love the why you lie :P) Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who read understand that all things must come to end, but that you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close.
When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. (Never in my imagination give my kids the strange name x_x) She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it.
You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

***

This interesting beautiful article are well written by Rosemarie Urquico :)

Guys, It Matters Whom You Marry, Too

Just as a woman must think carefully about a potential husband, you must be careful about a potential wife. Careful evaluation in a number of areas will save you a lifetime of frustration. Right now, you might think she’s pretty, or playful, or nice to you. It’s not enough. One pregnancy can alter a figure, responsibilities at home can reveal laziness, and a disagreement about money can turn her against you. The church in North America has many men who are hampered in their abilities and success because they were distracted by a pretty face who now seems to bring more trouble than bliss.

Just as a girl can’t imagine how much of an impact a husband will have on her unless an older woman is very frank with her, so you can’t imagine how that attractive girl you know could impact your life unless someone is very frank with you. Marriage will impact nearly every area of your life. Ready?

1. It will impact your spiritual life. 

If the girl is not a believer, drop her now. You have no right to yoke yourself with someone who is not a believer, and a responsibility to obey Scripture’s clear and good direction in this (2 Cor. 6:14). Dating is for marriage, not evangelism. Some guys think it’s unkind, or unfair to break up with a girl just because she’s not a Christian. The reality from God’s perspective is that it was unkind and unfair to start the wrong relationship with her in the first place. So are you going to falsely “be nice”, or are you going to be true to her by being obedient to your God? Be honest with her that you have failed in walking in God’s ways, failed in showing that the gospel, new life in communion with Christ, is foundational to Christian marriage–and as such foundational to a dating relationship. Ask godly women in the church to befriend her and to minister God’s Word to her soul. What should you do? Pray. Keep her at arms length. No dates. Stay away without a hint of any promise of anything future, until other mature Christians are convinced that she is genuinely transformed–and not just professing faith for a relationship with you.

If she is a believer, is she growing, or stagnant? Does she love God and commune with him on her own? Is she eager to learn from his Word, or more excited about shopping and friends? Is she by grace faithful to God and you now, or is she promiscuous with her emotions and body towards other men? Will she support and encourage your initiative in leading family worship, or will she hinder it? Is she the type who is going to be up and getting the kids ready for worship on Sunday morning, or will you be struggling to get everyone in the car on time? Few of us men are capable of getting small children fed, dressed, and buckled into car seats by mid-morning without help, though God can grant grace in exceptional circumstances. Just because you are the man, just because you are the leader in the relationship doesn’t mean that you will be able to pull her along in sanctification. She will either be a drag on your holiness, or a catalyst, a sweet encouragement for your personal, spiritual development. That will also be true for any future children.

Think long and hard. Pray. Get counsel from wise men with great marriages.

2. It will impact your service in the church. 
Is the girl that you’re thinking of excited about your involvement in the local church? Is she going to encourage you to serve the congregation with your gifts, or is she going to complain that you’re not helping her do laundry instead? Is she going to free you up to build up the body of Christ in whatever ways you can, or is she going to make it the last priority? Is she going to be a Priscilla (Acts 18) or a Michal (I Sam 6:16-20)? If you think that this will be an issue, look elsewhere for a helpmeet – you will have to answer to God for picking a woman who prevents you from serving Christ in his church.

This is especially important to think about if you are considering any sort of formal ministry. Far too many pastors are hindered in their work because of wives who take advantage of flexible work hours and a willingness to help–a characteristic of many ministry-minded men. These wives cripple the church. Their husbands are doing routine laundry instead of hospital visitation, ordinary child care instead of sermon preparation, and pampering their wives instead of shepherding souls. I review a lot of recommendations for students applying to seminaries. Increasingly, good churches realize that not only the student, but also his wife needs to be evaluated in her role as wife and mother. Ordinary, faithful men shine with a steady, loving and wise, supportive wife. While your wife can’t qualify you for pastoral ministry, she can most certainly disqualify you.

Tread carefully.

3. It will impact your reputation. 
Do you know what your girlfriend says about you to her friends? Her mother? Her facebook and twitter world? My wife was once visiting with a woman who repeatedly belittled her husband, not as an evil man, not as a bad father, but as an inept goof. It was this woman’s habit to talk this way, and it made people disrespect her husband. While it is your responsibility to behave in a respectable way, it is your wife’s responsibility to speak of you in a way that preserves and builds up your reputation, instead of revealing your shortcomings and faults to the world. The Proverbs 31 woman behaved and spoke in a way that enable her husband to trust her fully (v. 11). She did him good, not harm, all the days of her life (v. 12), partly with her words.

That does not mean that a wife should be hiding their husband’s serious patterns of sin from pastors or other people who need to know, but that they must be very careful to speak respectfully wherever possible about their husbands. Will the girl you are with build up your reputation or tear it down? Will she teach the children to respect you, or will your own family think little of you? Will she broadcast every failure that you have, or will she, in love, hide them from the world and help you fight them in private?

What will your wife do for your reputation?

4. It will impact your work life and finances. 

God created Eve to be a help suitable for Adam – a helpmeet. She is a pattern for all other wives. Is your girlfriend excited about the work you do, or does she not care? Is she able to help you where possible, or does she not want to be involved? The sort of work a wife/ helpmeet does depends on her husband’s calling, but it should always be there.

We know so many examples:
a husband who lays flooring and goes through the knees of his pants has a wife who loves beautiful floors and keeps him supplied with new work clothes. A husband who is an accountant and works long hours every tax season has a wife who keeps dinner hot for him and has the kids in bed when he gets home. A minister who faces spiritual opposition in the congregation has a wife who listens and encourages. A small town doctor has a wife who figures out how to get bodily fluids out of scrubs. And we also know men whose wives hate their work, and frustrate their husbands in their callings. It’s a huge burden to the men, stunting them in their careers and the use of their gifts. Can your girlfriend help you? Does she want to?

What will she do with the money that you earn through your work? Go shopping all the time, or wisely budget? Will she ask your advice about financial decisions, or make big changes without considering you? Will she be reckless with money, or enable you to live within your means? Is she greedy, or eager to give sacrificially to the work of the church? Is she looking for ways to get extra money, or finding ways to bless others in need with what you have?

Think: this relationship has the potential to ruin you or free you.

5. It will impact your other relationships. 

Courtesy of Cameroningalls

What does your mother think of your girlfriend? Does she think that this woman will take care of her son? Be a good mother? Does your girlfriend respect your parents? Is she happy to have them as grandparents for your children? Will your girlfriend’s parents dominate your marriage? Will they dictate “advice” or allow you to be the head of your own household? You do have to leave your father and mother and cleave to your wife, but you still need to consider what effect they will have on your marriage, because they will have one, for better or for worse.


What about your male friends and mentors? Will the girl that you have in mind encourage you to be accountable to older godly men, or will she not care, and complain about privacy? Will she suggest that you call up your brother once in a while and see how he’s doing, or will she whine that you’re not spending time with her? Will she be happy on occasion to put the kids to bed alone so you can visit with a friend, or will you not have that opportunity?

Make a wise choice, not a foolish one.

Courtesy of Cameroningalls

6. It will impact your health. 
Scripture gives us so many warnings about nagging, pestering, quick tempered wives (Gen. 30:1-2; Prov. 21:9, 19; 25:24). Men married to women like these are willing to live on a roof in order to have some mental peace. Will the girl you are with be careful to not pester and nag, and mentally wear you down, or will she prevent frustration where she can by expressing her opinion and being content with your leadership? Is she going to respect you and tell you so, or will she treat you like one of the kids?

Is she going to encourage you to exercise and prepare decent food for you to help you maintain your physical health? Or will she complain about the time and effort that it takes?

Is she going to be available, within reason, sexually, or will she use her body as a tool of manipulation to get you to do what she wants? Is she going to be grudgingly approach the marriage bed, or will she treat it as a good gift that God has given the two of you to enjoy, as an expression of love and delight?

Heed Scripture’s warnings here.

So how will your girlfriend do after the vows? Because this is just a sampling of the ways that a wife can bless or curse her husband. The effects are far reaching, long lasting, and either wonderful or difficult. Of course, there is no perfect woman. But there are amazing ones. And it’s better to be single for life than to marry someone who will make your life a burden. Singleness can be great – I was married late and experienced some blessed years of bachelorhood. Marriage to the wrong person is a nightmare. I know men whose careers, families, personal development and even congregations have been destroyed by their wives. It’s heartbreaking and messy, especially for the husband. Don’t be so easy going about your choice of wife that your marriage is a grief. If you are in an unhappy marriage, there are ways to get help. But if you’re not married, don’t put yourself in a bad situation when it is 100% avoidable. Don’t marry someone who can’t follow your leadership. Don’t marry someone who is not seeking to love Christ as you seek to love her as Christ loved the church. Marry someone who knows and demonstrates the love of Christ.

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Photo courtesy of Jose Villa and Cameroningalls

Girls, It Matters Whom You Marry

My husband and I were once with a youth group. There were three kids sitting across from us at a meal: two guys and a girl. The one guy was a computer geek with glasses. The other one was a college student with slightly cooler hair and no glasses. The girl was obviously with him. But while the computer geek was busy serving everyone at the meal, clearing plates and garbage, the college student got angry with the girl for a small accident and poured red juice over her leather jacket and white shirt. She picked the wrong guy, and the juice didn’t seem to change her mind. She is in for some grief if that relationship continues and especially if it leads to marriage.

So to all the young, unmarried Christian girls out there, listen up: who you marry matters. You might think that the way he treats you isn’t so bad. It’s not going to get better after the wedding. You might think that he’ll change. It’s possible, but most don’t. You might think that you’ll be able to minister to him and help him. Possibly, but if you can’t now, you won’t then, and you will be at risk yourself. A husband should lead and cherish you, not need your counsel for basic personality or behavior issues.

Unless someone married is very frank with you, you can’t understand how much a husband will impact your entire life. Next to salvation there is no other long term event that will change so many areas of your life so deeply. Here are just some of the ways that marriage will impact every aspect of living.

1. It will impact you spiritually. 
If the guy is not a believer, you can stop right there. You have no business yoking a redeemed soul with an unregenerate one, even if he seems open to change. Christ has bought you with a price and it is not an option to give away that blood bought heart to someone who doesn’t know and love your Lord. It will cripple your spiritual development, open up a host of temptations, stifle your prayer life, make regular church going difficult, and cause massive parenting conflict if you have children.

If the guy is a believer, is he a strong one? Will he lead you in prayer, Bible reading, family devotions, and public worship? Or will you be on your own? Is he going to make spiritual growth a priority or do other things come first? Is he going to ask you how it’s going with your soul so he can help you grow in holiness and love for Christ, or will he leave that to your pastor? Is he going to lead the children in this, or will you have to spearhead that? In church, is he going to help the kids sit well, pray, find the hymn, or will you be the one pointing out what is happening next and helping the family keep up? Many women have married spiritually immature men, thinking that it wasn’t a big issue, or that the man would change, and they were wrong. They bear the scars.

The health of your eternity is at stake. Think carefully.

2. It will impact you emotionally. 
Is the guy you’re thinking of going to encourage you, love you, be kind to you, and seek to understand you, or will he want to go out with the guys when you’re having a hard night? Will he listen when you are struggling with something or will he be preoccupied with a video game? Is he going to be annoyed when you cry or will he get you Kleenex and give you a hug? Is he going to understand that you are probably more tender than he is, more sensitive to issues and comments, or is he regularly going to run rough shod over your feelings? One woman was struggling to breastfeed her new baby, believing that that was the best thing for her, but it was very difficult. Instead of giving support and encouragement, the husband would make mooing sounds whenever he saw his wife working at it. We have to get rid of princess complexes, but we do have emotional needs. Any guy who is uncaring about your feelings and self esteem is selfish and should be left alone.

Be careful – a husband can cripple or foster emotional health.

3. It will impact you physically.
Is the guy you’re with going to provide for your basic needs? Will he be able to shelter, clothe and feed you? At one point in our marriage, I was worried that there was no employment opportunity. My husband assured me that he would work at McDonalds, dig ditches, clean up roadkill – whatever it took to provide for the family, regardless of his gifts and training. That’s the kind of attitude you want. A man who doesn’t provide for his household is worse than an infidel (I Tim. 5:8). You might have to help ease the financial burden, but unless your husband is disabled or there is another unusual circumstance, you shouldn’t have to carry it yourself.

Will the man you are with care for your body or abuse it? If he gives you little smacks, kicks, etc. when you’re dating, get away. It’s almost guaranteed that he will abuse you after marriage, and stats show that’s especially true when you are pregnant. Is he going to care for and protect your body or will he hurt it? There are women in churches across America who thought it was no big deal to have little (sort of friendly) punches or slaps from their boyfriends, but who are covering up the bruises from their husbands.

Will the man you are with care for you sexually? Is he going to honour the marriage bed in physical and mental faithfulness to you or will he flirt, feed his porn addiction, or even leave you for another woman? You can’t always predict these issues, but if the seeds or practices are already there, watch out. I recently saw a newly married couple and the husband was flirting openly with another woman. Unless something drastic happens, that marriage is headed for disaster.

Is he going to be tender and gentle to you in bed? An unbelieving co-worker once told my sister that after her first sexual encounter, she had trouble walking for a few days because her boyfriend was so rough. In other words, he wasn’t selfless enough to care for the body of the woman he said he loved.

Watch out. Your body needs care and protection.

4. It will impact you mentally. 
Is the man that you’re thinking of going to be a source of worry or will he help you deal with your worries? Is he going to encourage your intellectual development, or will he neglect it? Is he going to value your opinions and listen to what you are thinking, or will he disregard your thoughts? Is he going to help you manage stress so that your mind is not burdened that way, or is he going to let you struggle through issues alone? Is he going to care for you and be thoughtful of you if you are experiencing mental strain, or will he ignore it? I know of a woman who could handle pregnancy and child birth very well physically but postpartum depression took a huge toll on her mind. The husband overlooked it, continuing to have more children, until his wife ended up in a mental institution.

You might think that the intellectual or mental side of a marriage is small. It’s bigger than you think. Consider it seriously.

5. It will impact you relationally. 
How’s your relationship with your mother? Your dad? Do you love them? Does your boyfriend? Fast forward ten years: you tell your husband that your mother is coming for the weekend. Is he excited? Disappointed? Angry? Making snide jokes with his friends? Of course, a husband should come first in your priority of relationships, as you both leave father and mother and cleave to one another. But parents are still a big part of the picture. Whatever negative feelings he has about your parents now will probably be amplified after marriage. Your marriage will either strengthen or damage – even destroy – your relationship with your parents. The people who know you best and love you most right now could be cut out of the picture by a husband who hates them.

It’s the same with sisters and friends. Will they be welcomed, at reasonable times, in your home? Will the guy who you’re with encourage healthy relationships with other women, or will he be jealous of normal, biblical friendships? Will he help you mentor younger women and be thankful when older women mentor you, or will he belittle that?

Don’t sacrifice many good relationships for the sake of one guy who can’t value the people who love you.

So how will your boyfriend do after the vows? Because this is just a sampling of the ways that a husband can bless or curse his wife. The effects are far reaching, long lasting, and either wonderful or difficult. True, there are no perfect men out there. But there are great ones. And it’s better to be single for life than to marry someone who will make your life a burden. Singleness can be great. Marriage to the wrong person is a nightmare. I’ve been in a church parking lot where the pastor had to call the police to protect a wife from a husband who was trying to stop her from worshiping and being with her family. It’s ugly. Don’t be so desperate to get married that your marriage is a grief. If you are in an unhappy marriage, there are ways to get help. But if you’re not married, don’t put yourself in that situation. Don’t marry someone whose leadership you can’t follow. Don’t marry someone who is not seeking to love you as Christ loved the church. Marry someone who knows and demonstrates the love of Christ.

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Photo courtesy of Jose Villa

It's In The Little Things

Here’s a little thought for all the guys and girls out there on this bright Tuesday afternoon. Did you know that guys have a tendency to hunt? Well, we do. It’s an instinct that stems way back from the old days of our cavemen ancestors. They hunt to survive, and it’s a little part of nature that we guys have been born with. While we hunt for a living every day of our lives, we also leave some room to go after the object of our eyes. We concentrate, we focus, we direct all efforts to catch the prey.

That’s no wonder that when we are chasing after a girl, we dedicate 100% of our attention to her. We do our best to get her attention. We think of 1001 ideas to make her day. We call her up, we listen to her stories, buy her coffee, get to know her girlfriends and try hard to impress them. We make every next meeting look like coincidence, when actually we have worked very hard to make it happen. We pick her up, open the door for her, and send her back after every date. And flowers? Yes, the local florist knows are names and numbers by heart. We buy her gifts, we throw her surprises… you name it, we’ll do it. Anything to eventually win her heart.

I’ve seen it times and again. Guys are excellent hunters. More often than not, he will win the object of his affections. Now, on the flip side, the girl in question must feel like she’s the happiest girl on earth. She found the PERFECT guy who understands her, who makes her feel extra special. She found her dream guy. The hunter is the perfect man! But who is left after hunting season is over? The hunter has moved on to other hunting targets – like a career maybe – where he will dedicate another 100% into the hunt, yet again.

Is there something wrong here? Maybe not. Maybe that’s just how we naturally operate. But can something be done about it? Of course it can. So, here’s a little tip for all the hunters out there: the prey may be in your hands today, but lose your focus, and it’ll slip away. Don’t forget that as much as we enjoy the chase, our lady counterparts also enjoy being chased, daily regardless of how long you’ve been together. It won’t be easy, I know (I’ve actually been there…) but if it’s what will keep our relationship strong, guys, we’ve got to do our part! A strong relationship, that’s what we should always hunt for. Not with many different persons, but with the same woman, over and over again.

Written by David Soong
Pictures courtesy of Axioo and Re-post from here.

Girlfriends

I love this post so much :) Every words of it represent my feelings, and truly agree with every sentences of it. A great reminder for me, that "A faithful friend is a strong defence: and he that hath found him, hath found a treasure." So I want to share this thoughtful post with you girls, do enjoy.

I was just getting out of the house to take my children to school when a message came buzzing in on my Blackberry: “Girlfriends, you are needed. Can you meet me for brunch at 11am today?” My schedule raced through my mind and without much thought, I replied: “Can we make it at 10?”

I am not a planner, but this kind of spontaneity is new even to me. After getting married I had less time for my girlfriends, and even lesser since I became a Mom. Between the daily errands I had to run and the constant emotional challenges I face in raising the two future leaders of the world (yes, that’s what I tell myself to feel better), I felt I had no time to dress myself pretty, let alone be of good company to anyone. But as I sat there with my girlfriend over brunch, listening to her story about an exciting happening over the weekend, I knew that the time with her was a time well spent.

I began to think about what it means to have girlfriends in our lives. Often times when women are trying hard to balance between work and play, we tend to cast friendships aside. But we forget the benefits we get from nurturing female relationships. Not only are girlfriends the source of close and effective communication, they are also where we get that feel-good effect simply from an hour of ramblings about our feelings that can totally fill up our emotional tank for weeks. Women need each other to heal with, to laugh with, to grieve with, and to celebrate being a woman with – all of which are about communicating feelings that only women can understand (I mean, try talking your feelings out with a man and you might end up with more emotional damage than when you started). And when emotions are all laid out on the table, when vulnerability is shown, we create a unique bond that builds up into a sense of support and security.

Casually between the laughter and the tears that followed, my girlfriend said: “I do stupid stuff and you girls are my shield.” And I can’t tell you how much truth I found in that. When we are out there making a mockery of ourselves without thinking twice, or when our worst gets the best out of us, it’s these people with whom we have a unique bond that can “bitchslap” us back to reality and point out objectively just how good we have it – without pretense, without reservation.

Girlfriends are good for the soul – I’ve heard that often before. And like all relationships, friendship needs nurturing. Whether it’s a quick chat over coffee or a nice intimate dinner or even a day away together for a spa appointment, connections with other women have proved to do a lot of good for the female soul. When we invest the time and effort to grow this friendship, it will do more good for us and others.

So ladies, since there are only so many hours in a day and so much you can put your energy into, make the right priorities and make your girlfriends a part of it. Husbands, as much as you hate feeling neglected for the few hours that your wife is off to nurture her relationship with her friends, remember that it’s usually her friends who remind her just how wonderful you are to her.

To my girlfriend – you know who you are – thank you for the sunshine!

Written by Maya, re-post from here.
Photos courtesy of Janssen & Aurelia, photographed by Paulus.

What Makes A Woman Truly Beautiful?

What makes a woman truly beautiful to a Chirst-built man?
By Leslie Ludy in Answering the Guy Questions

What does a warrior-poet truly desire in a woman? It’s not a pretty face, a perfect figure, or a charming personality that will captivate his heart. Rather, it’s complete abandonment to Jesus Christ. 
Just look at these inspiring responses from some God-fearing young men when I asked them what they desired most in a woman.

Courtesy of Jose Villa

A woman who is solely focused on Jesus. A woman who intimidates me by her depth in the Word. A woman who cares more about what Jesus thinks than what the world around her thinks. A woman who has such depth that I will have to spend all eternity diving into the mystery of who she is. A woman who is focused on me before we even meet (as in not giving away her heart or body to every guy that comes her way and feeling no need to flirt and attract attention – but rather, she is treasuring the mystery and majesty of who she is). A woman who is entirely selfless. A woman who does not point to and lift up herself but continually shifts people’s focus to Jesus. A woman who would rather spend time with Jesus than with me.

- Nathan, 23

Love, reverence, and obsession with her Lord. Love, support, encouragement, and even accountability toward me when it’s necessary. Spiritual purity and a love for Christ so big she might burst.

- Josh, 21

A woman who loves God more than she loves me. A woman who relies on Him for her strength and not on me. Granted, I want her to love me greatly, and I desire to be the kind of man she can trust and rely on, but God must be her rock. A woman who is completely sold out, wanting nothing more and nothing less than God’s will and Christ’s power in her life is remarkably attractive. A man seeking after God truly cannot help but be attracted to a young woman who is also seeking God with every last ounce of her strength.

- Jeremy, 20

Purity, loyalty, and joy. But not for me – for God. A woman who desires to keep her relationship pure, loyal, and joyful with her Prince of Peace will then keep her relationship toward me pure, loyal, and joyful. All things that she does for her King, she will, in essence, be doing for me as well. A living example of the love of God and a lily among thorns.

- Rich, 24

A woman who won’t settle for anything less than Christ’s best. No matter what pain or uncomfortable feeling comes, she is willing to bring up any issue if it brings God glory. A woman who can challenge a man to love his Savior more is one of the most amazing and attractive qualities a woman could ever have. A faithful woman of prayer is someone I would love to spend the rest of my life with because I know there would never be a boring moment. Jesus is not boring, nor are the things of His kingdom! To spend the rest of my life advancing the kingdom with my future wife would be the greatest adventure any man could ever embark upon.

- Brandon, 26

A genuine, close relationship with God. This means she is constantly praying. It means that she doesn’t depend on the world (or even me) for her happiness, but only her Father. It means that she is loving and merciful because she is spending so much time with Love Himself. It means she isn’t living a fake form of Christianity, and it means that she has her eyes set on the right goal. And if her life is right with God, then all the other aspects of her life will be in good hands.

- Tim, 21

Semua Cowo Sama

"Ah semua cowo sama ajah lah"
Hayoo, siapa yang sering denger kata-kata seperti ini keluar dari mulut seorang wanita? Or maybe mulutmu sendiri? :P
To be honest, gw sendiri pernah -- dan oops sering ngomong kaya gitu dulu. Catet yah, dulu! HAHA. Ketika saya masi ababil-ababilnya.

Kenapa gw bilang ababil? Sorry to say nih, in my opinion.. cewe yang bisa menyuarakan komentar seperti ini adalah cewe yang ababil, yang emosinya masih belon stabil sehingga dia melihat kalau semua cowo itu sama aja. Yes, mungkin kamu pernah jadi pihak yang dirugikan atau istilahnya menjadi korban para pria. Tapi bukan karena satu pria berbuat seperti itu, lantas semua cowo sama aja toh? Nyimpen rasa kepaitan itu adalah merugikan kamu sendiri, makanya harus diberantas secara tuntas!

Terus juga sering banget loh gw denger dan liat beberapa kasus -- jadian, putus, jadian lagi sama yang baru, lalu putus lagi dan ends up mengatakan "semua cowo sama ajah." Nah loh, kalo mank belon bener-bener pulih dari sakit hati ngapain toh buru-buru pacaran lagi? Maybe in hope, si dia bisa bantu lupain masa lalu yah. Tapi perlu diingat, jangan sampai kamu membawa luka lama ke hubungan yang baru. 

Ketika gw denger cewe-cewe menyuarakan "semua cowo sama ajah lah nie." Gw langsung teringat oleh ayat ini:

Dan mengapa kamu melihat selumbar yang ada di mata saudaramu, tetapi tidak menyadari balok yang ada di matamu sendiri? 

Matius 7:3 - MILT version

Kenapa langsung inget sama ayat ini? Soalnya gw penganut paham dan sangat percaya dengan quotes behind every great man, there's a great woman. Iyah, mungkin kamu bisa bilang -- dulu dia baik loh, awal-awal deket sangat rohani tapi lama-lama dia berubah. Nah, kalo kaya gitu bisa coba di cek tuh. Kitanya berubah gak? Atau jangan-jangan karena pas sama kita, dia malah berubah jadi gak baik? Dengan kata lain, kita yang membawa pengaruh negatif ke dia. Atauuu, kamu dan dia sudah tidak menempel pada pokok anggur yang tepat, yaitu Tuhan Yesus! Tuhan bukan lagi the center of your relationship.

Or mungkin dari awalnya relationship ini kamu tuh uda sadar, kamu gak seimbang sama dia. Seimbang dalam arti tidak saling membangun ke arah yang lebih baik atau hubungannya tarik menarik. Jadi ketika putus, sakit hati, nangis-nangis. Stop blaming other person, check your self first why at the first place you close one eye to consider him?

Jadi, in conclusion, menurut gw kita as ladies need to stop saying like that. Semua cowo itu gak sama kok. Masihhh banyakk cowo yang baik dan bener-bener takut akan Tuhan. Tapi tentunya cowo-cowo seperti itu juga mencari wanita yang content, yang gambar dirinya penuh. (Ini based on my conversations with godly man loh). Walau mungkin ada 10 cowo nakal yang deketin kamu, tapi kalau kamu seorang cewe yang berkarakter dan berpendirian kuat. Gak sembarang cowo yang bisa deketin kamu, dan kamu gak akan bakal ngomong lagi "semua cowo sama ajah lah" karena kamu yang megang kendali atas hatimu dan gak sembarangan memberikan hatimu ke sembarang cowo.

So girls, we need to come to the point that -- be the kind of person you want to see in your future spouse. Stop asking too much, stop demanding, stop complaining, stop blaming. Kalau kita selalu menyalahkan cowo-cowo, itu mendukakan hati Tuhan juga loh. Karena Tuhan menciptakan kita wanita sebagai penolong bukan perongrong. Let's we learn to become a woman after God's own heart :)