I was just getting out of the house to take my children to school when a message came buzzing in on my Blackberry: “Girlfriends, you are needed. Can you meet me for brunch at 11am today?” My schedule raced through my mind and without much thought, I replied: “Can we make it at 10?”
I am not a planner, but this kind of spontaneity is new even to me. After getting married I had less time for my girlfriends, and even lesser since I became a Mom. Between the daily errands I had to run and the constant emotional challenges I face in raising the two future leaders of the world (yes, that’s what I tell myself to feel better), I felt I had no time to dress myself pretty, let alone be of good company to anyone. But as I sat there with my girlfriend over brunch, listening to her story about an exciting happening over the weekend, I knew that the time with her was a time well spent.
I began to think about what it means to have girlfriends in our lives. Often times when women are trying hard to balance between work and play, we tend to cast friendships aside. But we forget the benefits we get from nurturing female relationships. Not only are girlfriends the source of close and effective communication, they are also where we get that feel-good effect simply from an hour of ramblings about our feelings that can totally fill up our emotional tank for weeks. Women need each other to heal with, to laugh with, to grieve with, and to celebrate being a woman with – all of which are about communicating feelings that only women can understand (I mean, try talking your feelings out with a man and you might end up with more emotional damage than when you started). And when emotions are all laid out on the table, when vulnerability is shown, we create a unique bond that builds up into a sense of support and security.
Casually between the laughter and the tears that followed, my girlfriend said: “I do stupid stuff and you girls are my shield.” And I can’t tell you how much truth I found in that. When we are out there making a mockery of ourselves without thinking twice, or when our worst gets the best out of us, it’s these people with whom we have a unique bond that can “bitchslap” us back to reality and point out objectively just how good we have it – without pretense, without reservation.
Girlfriends are good for the soul – I’ve heard that often before. And like all relationships, friendship needs nurturing. Whether it’s a quick chat over coffee or a nice intimate dinner or even a day away together for a spa appointment, connections with other women have proved to do a lot of good for the female soul. When we invest the time and effort to grow this friendship, it will do more good for us and others.
So ladies, since there are only so many hours in a day and so much you can put your energy into, make the right priorities and make your girlfriends a part of it. Husbands, as much as you hate feeling neglected for the few hours that your wife is off to nurture her relationship with her friends, remember that it’s usually her friends who remind her just how wonderful you are to her.
To my girlfriend – you know who you are – thank you for the sunshine!
Written by Maya, re-post from here.
Photos courtesy of Janssen & Aurelia, photographed by Paulus.
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