Never Ceasing To Pray

Do you ever feel so let down and seems you can't take heart anymore? When there's no word could express your feeling and when a tight hug couldn't calm your emotion. Do you ever feel like that? Well, that's what I'm feeling currently.

There's a quote saying, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" or "you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." Alrite, that's true somehow. But, how if I'm tired of being strong? I'm not just tired, I'm exhausted. Exhausted to pretend to be strong.

I know I know, that God will never give anything beyond my control. For the bible tells me so. But there's a slightly difference between I know and I believe. I used to believe that 1Cor10:13 is true, but now I kinda doubt it >.< I guess, I'm in crucial condition...

In her email, Ci Erlyn said: Never ceasing to pray!!! When you worry, you pray! When you are sad, you pray! When you are disappointed, you pray! When you are angry, you pray!

Source from here.

And one thing I learn from this situation, I learn the fact that when I don't feel like praying, that's actually the best time to pray. I'm so tremendously weak and I really need God, for I believe those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. That's why I need to pray, and I can't tell you how many times I have been forced to my knees, realizing there was no other place to go. I seek God to find an answer for my trouble heart, and far from it He makes me realize that He is the answer that I need. 

Sometimes God calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage and He calms you. -Nicky Gumbel. 

Songs by Avalon, everything to me hummed in my car. And I sobbed when I heard every lyrics of it. And I cried even more when I sang along this song with the last lyrics, You are everything. Lord you are everything to me, Jesus. It's like God asking me, "how far you trust Me? Do you really trust Me? Am I really everything for you? Do you believe that I'm the God of universe?" 

It's like a harsh slap on my face! I certainly forget that God is always in perfect control. Sometimes when the bad situation happens, it makes me forget that the Lord is always good. All the time. The Lord is good all the time. In every situation. The God of the good times is still God in the bad times, and the God of the day, is still God in the night. Trust Him!

And all of my life, the good things that He ever done in my life makes me fully realize that I can stand up to now its only because of prayer. Its because the quality time that I spent to pray. Every single tear I cry is a diamond in His hands, and every door that slams in my face, I will offer up in my prayer. And of course because of the prayer support from my loved ones. Its not about me, but who is behind me. I really experience the power of prayer and prayer change things.

I do struggle, I do afraid and worried, yet all I have seen teaches me to trust The Creator for all I have not seen. Faith is seeing light with your heart when all your eyes see is darkness. 

Faith and fear ask the same thing, to believe for something that hasn't happened yet. - Joel Osteen.

Well choose wisely then, faith or fear. And when I open my old diary, I found what is written on 28 May 2012.. 

"There's no success, no happiness, and no fulfillment in life apart from a consistent, daily growing relationship with Jesus through the word." 

What a great reminder! The key to have success, happiness and fulfillment in life located in consistent prayer time and reading the word of God. 

From the tiny birds of the air and the fragile lilies of the field we learn the same truth. God takes care of His own. He is moved by our weaknesses and He stands ready to come to our rescue. - Charles Swindoll.