Installing Husband

Dear IT Support,

Last year, I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance – particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programmes, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programmes such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.

And now conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems,
but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate Housewife

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Dear Desperate Housewife,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter the command “http: I Thought You Loved Me.html” and try to download Tears 6.2 and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad programme that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 programme.

These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great programme, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Tasty Food 3.0, Tongue Kisses 6 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,
IT Support