A Glowing Lady

“Men are attracted to women who Glow”

A glow is defined as “to shine brightly and steadily“. Thesaurus defined it also as “the state of free from bodily or mental disease“. Here’s the thing ladies, I’m going to share something from guys point of view about the kind of ladies that attract us. I feel many of you ladies don’t really know how to ‘glow‘ and it’s just a pity to see that many high quality ladies not ‘glowing‘ to their full potential. Some are too ignorant, too attention seeking, or the worst thing is too desperate. Let’s see if this post can open your mind to new things. My goal is to give you an idea of how most of us guys ‘tick‘. Basically that one simple quote summarized it all, “We are attracted to women who Glow!”. Let me explain as brief as possible what ‘glow’ means.

PRESENTABLY GLOWING. 

Have you ever heard people say that “Men are visual creatures and Women are emotional creatures“? If you haven’t, then where have you been? Hehe. You have to understand that fact and know that the first thing men notice from you women is how you ‘present‘ yourself. Notice I use the word ‘present‘, because I’m not talking about whether you are beautiful or not beautiful physically here. I truly believe all of us are beautifully and wonderfully made. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. All of us are definitely beautiful to someone. I’m talking about how you ladies should ‘present‘ yourself attractively.

Yes, I agree everyone have their own style and personality. Some just loves it plain without make up, some dressed themselves elegantly, while some prefer more tomboy style. Whatever your style is, what’s most important is the fact that you are comfortable with how you dress up and it makes you feel attractive and confident.

The key is in your mind. Believe it or not, we all know ourselves when we really dress up and be attractive or when we’re not putting any effort at all and dress lousily. Probably we dress lousily when we’re just going down from our apartment to the grocery store to buy little bit of groceries and hope we won’t bump into anyone we know. Whereas we dress our best when we’re going to a friend’s birthday dinner thinking that we might meet some lovely singles out there. Whatever it is, be it men or women, we do need to put attention on how we clean ourselves, dress up and present ourselves. Take decent care of your body, hair, health and how you dress yourself. 

You need to be presentably glowing, cause you just never know if the next person you’re going to meet tomorrow when you step out of your home could actually be your dream guy or girl. Don’t let a set of heels or hairdo hinder you to be one step away from catching the eye of your potential mate!

INDEPENDENT, CONFIDENT AND SECURE. 

Ladies, guys are attracted to women who are confident and secured. If you are lacking confidence and security, then you first need to do something to correct yourself. Someone who always seek or hungry for attention is a turn off. No matter how beautiful you are, if you are not confident it will eventually shows. In many case the cause of jealousy and possessiveness in a relationship is because of one’s insecurity and lack of confident. When you don’t feel good about yourself and see everyone as more beautiful or better than you, you start putting them as your rivals and threat, causing you to want to protect your partner by not allowing them to socialize freely. You start to have phobia or fear of losing your partner because you are not confident and secure.

Before you look for a partner, you have to fix yourself and be an independent, confident and secure lady! Women who already have a career, financially independent, and have goals and vision in life are really attractive. No matter how beautiful you are, if you only sleep the whole day at home and still depending on your parents wealth for your personal shopping, and you don’t know what you want in life, you’ll be just like a pretty walking ‘barbie doll‘. Believe me, guys would line up for you, but you may not last long. An independent, confident and secure lady is like a gem!

LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST. 

Men are attracted to ladies who are having the fun of their life! Those who are not gloomy and mellow and showing how desperate they are to have a boyfriend to make them happy. We are attracted to those who are contented with their singleness and enjoying their life to the max. Those who know that their happiness doesn’t rely on the hands of a partner, but themselves. Usually, the only people that can live life to the fullest are those who are already confident and secure. So the first step to live your life to the fullest is to fix what’s inside, be confident and secure!

Live your life to the fullest. Go out, socialize and have fun with your friends. No need to be sensitive or shy, but be courageous and full of smile. Be warm and friendly, be someone that’s easy to approach instead of someone with a straight face that people scared to approach. 

Trust me, if you know how to take care of your well being, appearance and present yourself attractively; you are independent, confident and secured, and you are living your life to the fullest; it will be just a matter of time till guys notices you and you might just be a step away from meeting your dream guy.

Good luck, All the best and God Bless You Ladies! 

-Harry A.Tang- Repost from here. 

And all the beautiful photos taken by Jose Villa. I'm a big fan of him :D

My Beloved

I found this wonderful letter when I did some browsing. And it amazes me :) Sometimes, in the middle of discussion and chit chat time with my girl friends. There pop out a question and statement like this: "Do real man after God's own heart still exists? Where are they? And are they real?"

No doubt at this very moment we seldom find a man who really patiently wait for his future princess. Besides that, we found lots of guy out there chasing girl without attention to get married, only wanna to have-fun time.

And this letter remind me, that a real man after God's own heart is still exist and he wait patiently for his future wife. This letter so beautiful, please take some time to read it, grab a cup of tea and enjoy :) All the gorgeous picture taken by Jose Villa.

My Beloved,
I want you to know that I’m waiting for you. I can’t wait to meet you.
To see your eyes, to see your smile & to know about your life.
Wherever you are right now, what ever you’re doing, I’m praying for you. 
The thought of you excites me.
I can’t wait to serve & pursue Christ along side with you.
I can’t wait to hold your hand, and just pray with you.
I promise you I will always play my guitar and I will sing you songs.
Whats even better, I can’t wait to worship along side with you with our voices.
I can’t wait to love you, adore you, cherish you and take care of you.
I’m excited to know everything about you. Everything that makes YOU.
Every single detail that makes you perfect for me. I know I will appreciate those things because it’s you. 
I want to know what makes you happy, what makes you sad. 
What makes your day. Your favorite food, drink, music, movie.
Anything, and everything about you.

So I can serve you, love you, and take care of you the best way I can.
I can’t wait to touch your face when you laugh, cry, make jokes, being silly.
I can’t wait to pray, fast, drink coffee, eat carelessly, watch movie, sleep in till we are both late for work, cooking together, make you breakfast in bed, you making me breakfast in bed, drive our first car, live in our first home, raise our own family, seeking God together as a family.

I can’t wait to experience trials & suffering with you, grow close together with God.
I can’t wait to hold you close to me at night. Till we fall asleep.
I can’t wait to give you my ALL, everything of me to you.
I can’t wait to lay myself down for you, just as Christ laid down His life for me.
I long and desire for you my beloved.
I can’t wait to meet you and spend the rest of my earthly days with you.
I can’t wait to love you. 
I can’t wait to show you this letter in the future when we finally meet.
But for now, I want you to know.
I'm patiently waiting for you.. 

-Mark Muldez-
Taken from here.

Wasn't that so inspiring? That is definitely what I want my Prince to be like :P Let us all be praying for our future husbands to grow in their walk with the Lord, and to help them to have hearts after God's own heart.

And while we are waiting, lets we embrace our single life to bring out the best of ourselves, to discover and develop the talents and attributes with which we are blessed by God to become a blessing for our future prince.

Last but not least wait patiently for Him to bring your prince in His perfect time! Happy waiting, believe me such a man worth the wait :)

What a Godly Man Looks Like

Photo by Jose Villa

I would use these words to describe this wonderful man of virtue...

Noble, chivalrous, courageous, fun, true, wise, loyal, passionate, protector, gentle, humble, strong, self-sacrificial, adventurous, patient, loving, kind, serving, intelligent, polite, family centered, lover of truth, steeped in the Word of God, prayerful and hospitable.

These are not the kind of guys that you always notice first in a crowd. But they are the ones that you admire most once you do notice them. They are the ones who go to the person sitting on the side of the church looking left out, and shake hands with a smile. They are the ones that you will find at home instead of in youth group. You will see them sitting with their folks rather than passing notes in the back of church with their friends. You will find them helping in the kitchen or taking out the trash, walking the ladies to their cars and carrying diaper bags even if they don't belong to them.

You'll find them with other guys, in deep discussions about theology, worldview philosophies, politics, and books rather than just talking about the latest football games, computer games and girls. Yet, they can converse on these topics too when needed :-). These are the guys who walk on the outside of the sidewalk to protect the lady whom they might be with, and are always watching for ways to take care of her as a sister. When looking for a mate, they want the one who is at home (or wants to be) and "hangs out" with her mom and siblings more than her buddies.

They love a good time, but it usually entails sword fighting, ultimate Frisbee, board games, hiking, touch football, night tag, water balloon fights and G rated movies rather than sports teams, dancing at the bar or movies with violence and sex-who cares if they are in their 20's! A big night on the town includes taking the siblings to the grocery store, the library or out for miniature golf. They are passionate about the things of God and they do not bend on their convictions, no matter what others may say or do. They don't care that some might see them as "goody-goody" or strange for not dating or for spending so much time with their family-they are proud of it!

You might see them on the road at 6:30am rushing to get to a 7:00am catechism class, even though no one is making him go. You will find them in family worship, singing or playing the piano, teaching God's word to his family or sitting at his fathers feet. They write marvelous heart felt letters of encouragement when needed and yet might not say too much by way of personal stuff to many. They keep confidences. You might easily see him with a crowd of little ones about him as he helps to teach them something or play with them. He will watch an old movie and play cards with his siblings or parents ,even when he would rather be playing "Stronghold Crusader" on his laptop.

He would give up his very life for his savior, his ideals and his family. He makes ice cream floats of all kinds-even strange concoctions- and gives his mom tea in bed. He bakes birthday cakes for his friends with his sister's recipes. He learns follow a recipe and make things in the crock-pot because he wants to be able to at least take care of his wife when the baby comes. You are likely to find him under a car, on top of a roof, mowing a lawn, mending the fence, writing a book, working the night shift to help the family-anywhere that will require hard work, initiative and drive-but not for his own sake.

They are so admired and dearly loved by their families because they are an indispensable source of joy and encouragement, strength of character and servitude. They are never truly independent, because they have come to that wonderful place in the Christian life where they realize, that they must be dependent on God alone in His sovereignty, and the people that He has placed in his life.

Therefore, he is a true man's man. A giant. One to look up to. A hero. A leader among his peers. Strong, steady, dependable and one that you could place your life and the lives of your children into his capable and loving hands-with no regrets or fears.

-Kathy Gruben-

It's Been A Year

It's been a year!! Amazingly how time flies!! Puasa pacaranku selesai sudah.. Apasih puasa pacaran? Puasa pacaran, kaya yang dibahas di lady in waiting chapter 9, baca disini yah.

Untuk gw secara pribadi, kenapa gw mau mengambil waktu setahun puasa pacaran? Karena gw bener2 pingin pulihin hati dari segala jenis sakit hati, anger, hatred, pengen nemuin my calling and dig deeper into His words. Jadi selama setahun ini gw bener2 tutup hati rapat2 dan gak mikirin sama relationship thingy.

Is it hard to guard your heart? The answer is yes! Awal2 gw bingung, perlu gak yah puasa pacaran segala selama setaun? Gimana kalo I miss the chance, si pangeran lewat gitu LOL. Kayanya ga perlu deh sampe kaya gitu buang2 waktu. Buttttt thank God ada ci Erlyn yg selalu ingetin dan jawab semua pertanyaan gw when doubts feel my heart.

Gw membuat standard2 juga batasan2 untuk nanti pas gw mau mulai suatu hubungan. Ini beberapa list yg gw buat untuk menjaga kemurnian puasa pacaran selama setaun:

1. Gak bbm/ telponan intens sama cowo.. yg bisa menyebabkan salah paham/ ketergantungan
2. Gak pergi berdua sama cowo kemanapun dengan alasan apapun (kecuali nebeng pulang)
3. Tidak memberikan pin bb or contact ke orang yg gw tidak kenal/ dunia maya
4. To dress in modesty in every situation
5. Always welcome and friendly, not arrogant.. but still draw the line
6. To see fellow Christian guys as brother in Christ rather than potential man

Ketika gw buat standard2 ini, untuk menjalankannya butuh lots of sacrifice. Yes it is true easier said than done. Gw belajar yg namanya commitment! Setiap kali ada yang iseng2 mao ngenalin, gw lgsg dgn strict say "sorry, gw bener2 lagi gak mau dan gak mikirin belon saatnya." Ada masa2 dimana gw berasa sepiiii.. pengen disayang-sayang, ketika lagi ada masalah pengen cerita2. Tapi disini gw bener2 belajar untuk put God first in every area of my life.

Dan hal yg bikin gw sedih or down itu seringkali adalah respon dari temen2 gw sendiri.. Mereka bilang, "gimana caranya mo kenal sama orangnya kalo gak pergi berdua, sekali2 gpp lah." "Gpp kok kenalan telponan or bbman." Itu membuat gw berpikir, apa standard yg gw bikin terlalu muluk2 yah? Sampe gw perna dibilang calon pacar gw ntar pendeta.. Astaga! But, I remind my self again.. someday I gonna tell my future hubby how I lived my life before I meet him.. And I hope, when I tell him about how I lived my life dia gak akan regret karena gw bener2 trying my best to keep my heart only for him. So I wont lower my standard!! Dan standard ini akan tetap gw pegang walo puasa pacaran ini uda lewat. Ini akan jadi pedoman gw, karena my next one will be my last one. I will wait for my Prince In Knight Shining Armor :p

Dari puasa ini apa yang gw dapet? Buanyakkkk, gw bener2 belajar untuk feel content and secure in God alone, in His loving arms I found refuge. He is the strong tower to which I can always go. He is rock of safety where I can always hide. Dan belajar, kalau goal dari hidup ini bukan marriage ajah.. I used to think that marriage is the highest calling and goal that every woman should achieve. Tapi I finally realize kaya yg ci Shinta bilang, "Singleness is a calling as surely as mariage or parenthood, and one calling is NOT greater than the another."

So the conclusion is.. wait for a man worth waiting for and be a woman worth fighting for! Ci Erlyn pernah bilang, selama masa single harus fokus dan fokus. Benahin diri in and out, dan nanti akan glow dengan sendirinya. Sinar yang begitu terang gak akan bisa disembunyikan kan? And I truly believe, the right woman will attract the right man. Jadi jangan cuma nuntut mau cowo begini dan begitu! Be that kind of woman. Tumbuhin karakter2 yg kamu mau liat nantinya ada di pasanganmu. God will give you the right person in the right place at the right time. Gw belajar satu hal, gw gak perlu tuh pusing-pusing cari cowo atau TP2 karena King of all Kings loves me and His unfailing love more than enough! I used to believe that unconditional love just a myth and He proved me wrong :D Wait patienly for Him to act.. and we as a woman just need to REACT not to ACT.

I still cant believe it that one year has passed. And yes Im enjoying my single life to the fullest. Dan malah jadi takut untuk perubahan lagi.. I scared to leave my comfort zone T_T Hadeh rempong ya.. Tapi seorang yg dewasa tidak akan takut terhadap perubahan. Karena perubahan adalah salah satu dari proses pertumbuhan.. So I will not scared! Tuhan beri ani hati yang baru, yang selalu siap dibentuk huhu.

I encourage single ladies, lets we live our life to the fullest.. Apalagi masa2 single kita, jangan pernah disia2kan karena gak akan balik dua kali. Masa2 single itu dimana kita bisa all out lakuin apa aja tanpa harus mikir urus anak ini itu. Dimana bisa nemuin callingmu tanpa harus ada penyesuaian dengan org lain, esp lawan jenis. Semangat!!

The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian does make me a different kind of woman. —Elisabeth Elliot

My Heart is Christ’s Home

Hati saya adalah rumahnya Tuhan. Kenapa saya pilih kata “home” instead of “house” disini? Karena home itu lebih bersuasana kekeluargaan, hangat dan nyaman. Sering denger donk, “home sweet home” tapi pernah gak kalian denger “house sweet house?” ;p Rumah yang dibangun dengan fondasi yang tepat (kehangatan, penuh kasih sayang, nyaman, dan teduh) adalah tempat dimana kita ingin selalu berpulang, tempat terbaik yang ada. Bahkan setelah liburan keluar negeri yang jauh, pas pulang rumah rasanya senang karena finally you are at your own place, bisa rest fully lega deh. Tapi gimana kalau sebaliknya? Rumah yang tidak dibangun dengan fondasi yang tepat, dimana tidak ada kedamaian. Pasti males banget deh pulang ke rumah.

Apa sih yang kalian inginkan dari sebuah rumah? Kita tidak bicara mengenai bangunannya, tetapi bicara mengenai keharmonisannya. Ketika pulang kerumah, pastinya kita tidak mengharapkan adanya penolakan, atau kesengitan. Dan untuk menjadikan hati kita rumah-Nya, dimana kita benar-benar mengerti dan mengalami kasih-Nya kita harus selalu menyediakan waktu untuk-Nya ditengah-tengah kesibukan dari segala aktivitas dan benar-benar mencari tahu isi hati-Nya.

Cerita yang sangat popular dari Maria dan Martha, di pasal Lukas 10:38-42

Maria dan Marta
10:38 Ketika Yesus dan murid-murid-Nya dalam perjalanan, tibalah Ia di sebuah kampung. Seorang perempuan yang bernama Marta menerima Dia di rumahnya. 10:39 Perempuan itu mempunyai seorang saudara yang bernama Maria. Maria ini duduk dekat kaki Tuhan dan terus mendengarkan perkataan-Nya, 10:40 sedang Marta sibuk sekali melayani. Ia mendekati Yesus dan berkata: "Tuhan, tidakkah Engkau peduli, bahwa saudaraku membiarkan aku melayani seorang diri? Suruhlah dia membantu aku." 10:41 Tetapi Tuhan menjawabnya: "Marta, Marta, engkau kuatir dan menyusahkan diri dengan banyak perkara, 10:42 tetapi hanya satu saja yang perlu, Maria telah memilih bagian yang terbaik, yang tidak akan diambil dari padanya."

Disini terlihat seperti apa yang dilakukan Martha tidak mulia yah? Padahal dia menyiapkan makanan dan hidangan untuk Yesus dan tamu-tamu-Nya. Namun bukan begitu adanya. Di tengah-tengah acara, dimana Tuhan Yesus menyampaikan firman-Nya, Marta tidak menunjukkan sikap yang sama dengan saudara perempuannya, Maria. Maria benar-benar fokus duduk dekat kaki Yesus dan terus mendengarkan perkataan-Nya. Maria terus, yang berarti konsentrasinya tidak terpecah sedangkan Marta tidak memilih memberikan diri untuk mendengarkan kotbah Tuhan Yesus dengan penuh perhatian. Konsentrasi Marta terpecah antara mendengarkan firman Tuhan dan usaha untuk mempersiapkan segala sesuatu untuk melayani Tuhan Yesus dan tamu-tamu yang lain.

Perbedaannya disini adalah Maria mendengarkan dengan penuh perhatian dan konsentrasi, sedangkan Marta mendengarkan dengan perhatian dan konsentrasi yang terpecah karena urusan-urusan dapur. Mengerjakan dua hal secara sekaligus dapat menimbulkan rasa lelah, dan jenuh. Ya iyalah, mengerjakan satu hal saja dapat benar-benar menguras tenaga kita, apalagi dua hal sekaligus? Rasa lelah dan penat ini menjadi bertambah ketika Martha melihat Maria dengan asyik duduk diam di kaki Tuhan Yesus mendengarkan cerita-Nya. Maria merasa tidak adil dan menjadi kesal.

Dapat kita simpulkan disini bahwa kesalahan Martha adalah: Pertama, Martha merasa Tuhan tidak adil dan tidak peduli padanya karena tidak menyuruh Maria membantunya. Kedua, Martha merasa lebih benar dibanding dengan Maria di dalam tindakan dan keputusan yang diambilnya.

Dan jawaban Tuhan menjelaskan dengan sangat clear bahwa Tuhan tidak memojokkan Martha atau menyudutkan Martha, melainkan Tuhan menjelaskan kalau Martha telah merepotkan dirinya sendiri dengan ketakutan dan kekawatiran yang berlebihan. Apa yang dilakukan Martha adalah baik dan mulia, tapi yang Tuhan inginkan juga adalah hubungan yang kekal dan dekat pada-Nya, maka Dia berkata “Maria telah memilih bagian yang terbaik, yang tidak akan diambil dari padanya." Yang tidak akan diambil daripadanya itu berarti sesuatu yang kekal. Mengapa Tuhan berkata begitu? Karena firman Tuhan adalah kekal, seperti yang tertera dalam 1 Petrus 1:25: Namun, firman Tuhan tinggal tetap sepanjang zaman. Dan, inilah firman yang diberitakan kepada kamu (MILT version).

Bila kita terlalu sibuk dengan kegiatan kita, pekerjaan, pelayanan sampai-sampai kita melupakan hubungan intim dengan Tuhan maka kita sedang ada dalam masalah besar. Bangun pagi ingin saat teduh tapi buru-buru mandi dan siap-siap.. ntar siangan deh yah. Siang di kantor sibuk banyak kerjaan yang numpuk, ntar sorean deh satenya yah. Sore hari sedang dikejar deadline dan ingin pulang on time jadi di-pending lagi satenya yah. Pulang kerja lelah karena kerjaan numpuk, macet dan penat jadi langsung tepar tidak sempat saat teduh lagi. Atau mungkin beberapa malam tetap saat teduh, tapi sudah tidak konsen dan focus karena sudah terlalu lelah dan memberikan Tuhan waktu sisa-sisa energy kita. Doa malam hari, dan aminnya besok pagi mungkin :p

Mari kita semua belajar menempatkan Tuhan di tempat pertama, menjadi prioritas diatas segala prioritas. Jadikan hati kita rumah-Nya. Dimana Tuhan selalu tersambut dengan gembira, dimana we are simply breathless without Him, whereby we can’t life without Him nearby. Jangan sampai ketika di Surga nanti, di pintu Surga dimana Tuhan membuka buku kehidupan dan kita berharap kalau nama kita ada dalam buku kehidupan. Dan Tuhan menjawab: “Oh maaf anakku, tadinya Aku berniat menuliskan namamu di buku ini namun Aku terlalu sibuk sampai Aku lupa menuliskannya.”

Dengan diam di kaki-Nya dan mencari wajah-Nya kita menemukan jawaban dari segala kebutuhan yang kita butuhkan. Mazmur 46:10 berkata “Diamlah dan ketahuilah, bahwa Akulah Allah!” Aku ditinggikan di antara bangsa-bangsa, ditinggikan di bumi! Dan pada Yesaya 30:15 mengatakan “Dengan bertobat dan tinggal diam kamu akan diselamatkan, dalam tinggal tenang dan percaya terletak kekuatanmu”

Written for Majalah Pearl 09 - From The Cross With Love
www.majalahpearl.com