Girlfriends

I love this post so much :) Every words of it represent my feelings, and truly agree with every sentences of it. A great reminder for me, that "A faithful friend is a strong defence: and he that hath found him, hath found a treasure." So I want to share this thoughtful post with you girls, do enjoy.

I was just getting out of the house to take my children to school when a message came buzzing in on my Blackberry: “Girlfriends, you are needed. Can you meet me for brunch at 11am today?” My schedule raced through my mind and without much thought, I replied: “Can we make it at 10?”

I am not a planner, but this kind of spontaneity is new even to me. After getting married I had less time for my girlfriends, and even lesser since I became a Mom. Between the daily errands I had to run and the constant emotional challenges I face in raising the two future leaders of the world (yes, that’s what I tell myself to feel better), I felt I had no time to dress myself pretty, let alone be of good company to anyone. But as I sat there with my girlfriend over brunch, listening to her story about an exciting happening over the weekend, I knew that the time with her was a time well spent.

I began to think about what it means to have girlfriends in our lives. Often times when women are trying hard to balance between work and play, we tend to cast friendships aside. But we forget the benefits we get from nurturing female relationships. Not only are girlfriends the source of close and effective communication, they are also where we get that feel-good effect simply from an hour of ramblings about our feelings that can totally fill up our emotional tank for weeks. Women need each other to heal with, to laugh with, to grieve with, and to celebrate being a woman with – all of which are about communicating feelings that only women can understand (I mean, try talking your feelings out with a man and you might end up with more emotional damage than when you started). And when emotions are all laid out on the table, when vulnerability is shown, we create a unique bond that builds up into a sense of support and security.

Casually between the laughter and the tears that followed, my girlfriend said: “I do stupid stuff and you girls are my shield.” And I can’t tell you how much truth I found in that. When we are out there making a mockery of ourselves without thinking twice, or when our worst gets the best out of us, it’s these people with whom we have a unique bond that can “bitchslap” us back to reality and point out objectively just how good we have it – without pretense, without reservation.

Girlfriends are good for the soul – I’ve heard that often before. And like all relationships, friendship needs nurturing. Whether it’s a quick chat over coffee or a nice intimate dinner or even a day away together for a spa appointment, connections with other women have proved to do a lot of good for the female soul. When we invest the time and effort to grow this friendship, it will do more good for us and others.

So ladies, since there are only so many hours in a day and so much you can put your energy into, make the right priorities and make your girlfriends a part of it. Husbands, as much as you hate feeling neglected for the few hours that your wife is off to nurture her relationship with her friends, remember that it’s usually her friends who remind her just how wonderful you are to her.

To my girlfriend – you know who you are – thank you for the sunshine!

Written by Maya, re-post from here.
Photos courtesy of Janssen & Aurelia, photographed by Paulus.

What Makes A Woman Truly Beautiful?

What makes a woman truly beautiful to a Chirst-built man?
By Leslie Ludy in Answering the Guy Questions

What does a warrior-poet truly desire in a woman? It’s not a pretty face, a perfect figure, or a charming personality that will captivate his heart. Rather, it’s complete abandonment to Jesus Christ. 
Just look at these inspiring responses from some God-fearing young men when I asked them what they desired most in a woman.

Courtesy of Jose Villa

A woman who is solely focused on Jesus. A woman who intimidates me by her depth in the Word. A woman who cares more about what Jesus thinks than what the world around her thinks. A woman who has such depth that I will have to spend all eternity diving into the mystery of who she is. A woman who is focused on me before we even meet (as in not giving away her heart or body to every guy that comes her way and feeling no need to flirt and attract attention – but rather, she is treasuring the mystery and majesty of who she is). A woman who is entirely selfless. A woman who does not point to and lift up herself but continually shifts people’s focus to Jesus. A woman who would rather spend time with Jesus than with me.

- Nathan, 23

Love, reverence, and obsession with her Lord. Love, support, encouragement, and even accountability toward me when it’s necessary. Spiritual purity and a love for Christ so big she might burst.

- Josh, 21

A woman who loves God more than she loves me. A woman who relies on Him for her strength and not on me. Granted, I want her to love me greatly, and I desire to be the kind of man she can trust and rely on, but God must be her rock. A woman who is completely sold out, wanting nothing more and nothing less than God’s will and Christ’s power in her life is remarkably attractive. A man seeking after God truly cannot help but be attracted to a young woman who is also seeking God with every last ounce of her strength.

- Jeremy, 20

Purity, loyalty, and joy. But not for me – for God. A woman who desires to keep her relationship pure, loyal, and joyful with her Prince of Peace will then keep her relationship toward me pure, loyal, and joyful. All things that she does for her King, she will, in essence, be doing for me as well. A living example of the love of God and a lily among thorns.

- Rich, 24

A woman who won’t settle for anything less than Christ’s best. No matter what pain or uncomfortable feeling comes, she is willing to bring up any issue if it brings God glory. A woman who can challenge a man to love his Savior more is one of the most amazing and attractive qualities a woman could ever have. A faithful woman of prayer is someone I would love to spend the rest of my life with because I know there would never be a boring moment. Jesus is not boring, nor are the things of His kingdom! To spend the rest of my life advancing the kingdom with my future wife would be the greatest adventure any man could ever embark upon.

- Brandon, 26

A genuine, close relationship with God. This means she is constantly praying. It means that she doesn’t depend on the world (or even me) for her happiness, but only her Father. It means that she is loving and merciful because she is spending so much time with Love Himself. It means she isn’t living a fake form of Christianity, and it means that she has her eyes set on the right goal. And if her life is right with God, then all the other aspects of her life will be in good hands.

- Tim, 21

When I Look Back

Postingan ini ditujukan untuk Louisa benernya :P Beberapa bulan lalu dia ada bbm gw dan cerita tentang pergumulan dia mao ke Swiss, belon dapet tempat tinggal, visa belon keluar etc. Emang masa-masa galau banget sih di tengah ketidakpastian. Maap banget sa baru sempet nulis tentang ini >.<

Nah gw pengen share sedikit disini tentang semua ini, menunggu dalam ketidakpastian yang rasanyaaa luamaaa banget. Belon lagi deg-deg'annya. Panic at the disco, harus cepet ambil keputusan ini dan itu. Dan beberapa hal lain terpaksa harus di on hold :(

Tapi when I look back, He is my Jehovah Jireh. The Lord is my provider, through the years He never let me down. And what bible say is true; Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for You are close beside me. Your rod and Your staff protect and comfort me. Psalm 23:4

Dulu gw pernah tuh ngerasain kaya Louisa, uda dapet kerja tapi ijin tinggal gw belom keluar. Terus pas saat itu gw ada church camp di Malaysia. Dan karena kemaren itu Singapore lagi ketat banget usir-usirin foreigner keluar jadi untuk keluar masuk Singapore lumayan ngeri, takut-takut ga boleh masuk lagi. Tapi gimana pun gw harus ikut church camp soalnya gw jadi panitia inti >.< Dan gw berdoa sama Tuhan, Tuhan ani mau Spass ani keluar sebelum retreat. Dan bener loh Spass, ijin tinggal gw keluar tanggal 15 dan church camp itu happens tanggal 16. And once again I'm amazed by His love!!

Lalu juga pernah, gw pindah rumah baru 3 minggu. Kebayang gak sih unpack dan packingnya kaya apa? Terus landlord gw telpon, dia bilang dia ada bad news which is gw harus move out soalnya pemerintah mau adain inspeksi apalah gitu. Jadi gw harus pindah dalam kurun waktu satu minggu >.< Stress banget, apalagi cari rumah tuh gak gampang euy, dan biasanya cari-cari rumah itu sebulanan. Tapiii once again, Tuhan kasih satu agent ke gw, dan pas view rumah pertama kali itu gw langsung oke, tempat oke, harga oke, dan tentunya semua karena Tuhan kita yang oke banget lah!

Oh ya, yang paling berkesan juga itu selama 3tahun gw kuliah. Gw gak pernah ngalamin yang namanya laptop crash tiba-tiba dan mati total di tengah-tengah final project. Dimana itu fatal banget untuk anak DKV, karena laptop itu harta kita yang paling berharga ahaha. Gw cuma pernah ganti laptop sekali doank, itu pun karena kesalahan gw sendiri kebanting! Sampe temen-temen gw pada heran, mereka pada nanya kok bisa dll, banyak dari temen-temen gw yang ganti sampai 2-3x udahan. Dan pernah ada yang kecolongan juga laptopnya deng dengggg -____- Gw sungguh bersyukurrrr bokk gw gak pernah ngalamin stressnya laptop mati, hilang data, kebut-kebutan ngejer backup file, or redo everything that was lost. And all because of God's protection.

Tiga hal ini yang gw gak akan bisa lupa selama masa-masa struggle gw sebatang kara di negri sebrang *lebay* Dan ketika gw mengalami hal-hal sulit lagi, Roh Kudus seperti mengingatkan masa iya lu ragu sama Tuhan, setelah apa yang Dia perbuat selama ini? Dan gw langsung ketemplak bokk, really without God I simply nothing. Dan masih bisa-bisanya gw meragukan Tuhan setelah betapa setiaNya Dia >.<

Jadiii ketika merasa cobaan beratt sekaliii dan seperti pungguk merindukan bulan, lets we review our life back then :) When life knocks down on your knees, well, isn't that the best position to pray? My fav verse all the time; Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 

Faith sees the invisible

Believes the unbelievable

and receives the impossible

Semua Cowo Sama

"Ah semua cowo sama ajah lah"
Hayoo, siapa yang sering denger kata-kata seperti ini keluar dari mulut seorang wanita? Or maybe mulutmu sendiri? :P
To be honest, gw sendiri pernah -- dan oops sering ngomong kaya gitu dulu. Catet yah, dulu! HAHA. Ketika saya masi ababil-ababilnya.

Kenapa gw bilang ababil? Sorry to say nih, in my opinion.. cewe yang bisa menyuarakan komentar seperti ini adalah cewe yang ababil, yang emosinya masih belon stabil sehingga dia melihat kalau semua cowo itu sama aja. Yes, mungkin kamu pernah jadi pihak yang dirugikan atau istilahnya menjadi korban para pria. Tapi bukan karena satu pria berbuat seperti itu, lantas semua cowo sama aja toh? Nyimpen rasa kepaitan itu adalah merugikan kamu sendiri, makanya harus diberantas secara tuntas!

Terus juga sering banget loh gw denger dan liat beberapa kasus -- jadian, putus, jadian lagi sama yang baru, lalu putus lagi dan ends up mengatakan "semua cowo sama ajah." Nah loh, kalo mank belon bener-bener pulih dari sakit hati ngapain toh buru-buru pacaran lagi? Maybe in hope, si dia bisa bantu lupain masa lalu yah. Tapi perlu diingat, jangan sampai kamu membawa luka lama ke hubungan yang baru. 

Ketika gw denger cewe-cewe menyuarakan "semua cowo sama ajah lah nie." Gw langsung teringat oleh ayat ini:

Dan mengapa kamu melihat selumbar yang ada di mata saudaramu, tetapi tidak menyadari balok yang ada di matamu sendiri? 

Matius 7:3 - MILT version

Kenapa langsung inget sama ayat ini? Soalnya gw penganut paham dan sangat percaya dengan quotes behind every great man, there's a great woman. Iyah, mungkin kamu bisa bilang -- dulu dia baik loh, awal-awal deket sangat rohani tapi lama-lama dia berubah. Nah, kalo kaya gitu bisa coba di cek tuh. Kitanya berubah gak? Atau jangan-jangan karena pas sama kita, dia malah berubah jadi gak baik? Dengan kata lain, kita yang membawa pengaruh negatif ke dia. Atauuu, kamu dan dia sudah tidak menempel pada pokok anggur yang tepat, yaitu Tuhan Yesus! Tuhan bukan lagi the center of your relationship.

Or mungkin dari awalnya relationship ini kamu tuh uda sadar, kamu gak seimbang sama dia. Seimbang dalam arti tidak saling membangun ke arah yang lebih baik atau hubungannya tarik menarik. Jadi ketika putus, sakit hati, nangis-nangis. Stop blaming other person, check your self first why at the first place you close one eye to consider him?

Jadi, in conclusion, menurut gw kita as ladies need to stop saying like that. Semua cowo itu gak sama kok. Masihhh banyakk cowo yang baik dan bener-bener takut akan Tuhan. Tapi tentunya cowo-cowo seperti itu juga mencari wanita yang content, yang gambar dirinya penuh. (Ini based on my conversations with godly man loh). Walau mungkin ada 10 cowo nakal yang deketin kamu, tapi kalau kamu seorang cewe yang berkarakter dan berpendirian kuat. Gak sembarang cowo yang bisa deketin kamu, dan kamu gak akan bakal ngomong lagi "semua cowo sama ajah lah" karena kamu yang megang kendali atas hatimu dan gak sembarangan memberikan hatimu ke sembarang cowo.

So girls, we need to come to the point that -- be the kind of person you want to see in your future spouse. Stop asking too much, stop demanding, stop complaining, stop blaming. Kalau kita selalu menyalahkan cowo-cowo, itu mendukakan hati Tuhan juga loh. Karena Tuhan menciptakan kita wanita sebagai penolong bukan perongrong. Let's we learn to become a woman after God's own heart :)

A Glowing Lady

“Men are attracted to women who Glow”

A glow is defined as “to shine brightly and steadily“. Thesaurus defined it also as “the state of free from bodily or mental disease“. Here’s the thing ladies, I’m going to share something from guys point of view about the kind of ladies that attract us. I feel many of you ladies don’t really know how to ‘glow‘ and it’s just a pity to see that many high quality ladies not ‘glowing‘ to their full potential. Some are too ignorant, too attention seeking, or the worst thing is too desperate. Let’s see if this post can open your mind to new things. My goal is to give you an idea of how most of us guys ‘tick‘. Basically that one simple quote summarized it all, “We are attracted to women who Glow!”. Let me explain as brief as possible what ‘glow’ means.

PRESENTABLY GLOWING. 

Have you ever heard people say that “Men are visual creatures and Women are emotional creatures“? If you haven’t, then where have you been? Hehe. You have to understand that fact and know that the first thing men notice from you women is how you ‘present‘ yourself. Notice I use the word ‘present‘, because I’m not talking about whether you are beautiful or not beautiful physically here. I truly believe all of us are beautifully and wonderfully made. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. All of us are definitely beautiful to someone. I’m talking about how you ladies should ‘present‘ yourself attractively.

Yes, I agree everyone have their own style and personality. Some just loves it plain without make up, some dressed themselves elegantly, while some prefer more tomboy style. Whatever your style is, what’s most important is the fact that you are comfortable with how you dress up and it makes you feel attractive and confident.

The key is in your mind. Believe it or not, we all know ourselves when we really dress up and be attractive or when we’re not putting any effort at all and dress lousily. Probably we dress lousily when we’re just going down from our apartment to the grocery store to buy little bit of groceries and hope we won’t bump into anyone we know. Whereas we dress our best when we’re going to a friend’s birthday dinner thinking that we might meet some lovely singles out there. Whatever it is, be it men or women, we do need to put attention on how we clean ourselves, dress up and present ourselves. Take decent care of your body, hair, health and how you dress yourself. 

You need to be presentably glowing, cause you just never know if the next person you’re going to meet tomorrow when you step out of your home could actually be your dream guy or girl. Don’t let a set of heels or hairdo hinder you to be one step away from catching the eye of your potential mate!

INDEPENDENT, CONFIDENT AND SECURE. 

Ladies, guys are attracted to women who are confident and secured. If you are lacking confidence and security, then you first need to do something to correct yourself. Someone who always seek or hungry for attention is a turn off. No matter how beautiful you are, if you are not confident it will eventually shows. In many case the cause of jealousy and possessiveness in a relationship is because of one’s insecurity and lack of confident. When you don’t feel good about yourself and see everyone as more beautiful or better than you, you start putting them as your rivals and threat, causing you to want to protect your partner by not allowing them to socialize freely. You start to have phobia or fear of losing your partner because you are not confident and secure.

Before you look for a partner, you have to fix yourself and be an independent, confident and secure lady! Women who already have a career, financially independent, and have goals and vision in life are really attractive. No matter how beautiful you are, if you only sleep the whole day at home and still depending on your parents wealth for your personal shopping, and you don’t know what you want in life, you’ll be just like a pretty walking ‘barbie doll‘. Believe me, guys would line up for you, but you may not last long. An independent, confident and secure lady is like a gem!

LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST. 

Men are attracted to ladies who are having the fun of their life! Those who are not gloomy and mellow and showing how desperate they are to have a boyfriend to make them happy. We are attracted to those who are contented with their singleness and enjoying their life to the max. Those who know that their happiness doesn’t rely on the hands of a partner, but themselves. Usually, the only people that can live life to the fullest are those who are already confident and secure. So the first step to live your life to the fullest is to fix what’s inside, be confident and secure!

Live your life to the fullest. Go out, socialize and have fun with your friends. No need to be sensitive or shy, but be courageous and full of smile. Be warm and friendly, be someone that’s easy to approach instead of someone with a straight face that people scared to approach. 

Trust me, if you know how to take care of your well being, appearance and present yourself attractively; you are independent, confident and secured, and you are living your life to the fullest; it will be just a matter of time till guys notices you and you might just be a step away from meeting your dream guy.

Good luck, All the best and God Bless You Ladies! 

-Harry A.Tang- Repost from here. 

And all the beautiful photos taken by Jose Villa. I'm a big fan of him :D