5 Pillars of Manhood

Here's very worth reading article from Ps Jaeson Ma.
Like Stephanie said, this article very complete.
And this article is written by a man not woman.
Because if a woman wrote this, maybe some of you will think:
"Girl is always demanding! Wishing a guy to be like this or like that."
But because this is written from a man, means that he himself aware of how important his role as a man.

Ladies, here we go.. Here's a man worth waiting for! ;)

The 5 Pillars of Manhood
(How Men Should Love & Respect Women)
WE NEED MEN OF GOD WHO WILL LOVE & RESPECT WOMEN OF FAITH.. NEXT STOP "MANHOOD"

I spent the day with a group of men in our house church learning what it takes to be a man of God when it comes to loving and respecting women. In our day an age most men are not men, they are boys. Most guys still want to marry their mom, have a women serve and take care of them, are not willing to take initiative or commit in a relationship, most men are still living in fear, not pursuing their callings by settling for “safe” because its easy. This is sad, upsetting and the standard must change.

Women don’t want to marry boys, they want to marry men. Women don’t want boys they have to put up with, clean up after and take care of, they want to be lead, pursued and taken on an exciting life adventure. If you go to most of the churches in the Western world today, you will find that there are very few spiritual men, instead there are many spiritual women. It’s disappointing, but I hear it from women of faith all the time, “Pastor Jaeson, where are the godly men?”

Today, a good brother and leader in our GBS community Daniel Ra explained what God showed him to be the “5 Pillars of Manhood” in how men must love, respect and serve women. It was enlightening and reinforcing from what I have been teaching men for years when it comes to pursuing a woman of God.. of course none of us are perfect, we all have our mistakes, but we must each strive to be better and greater than what we were before yesterday, everyday making an effort to be more like God, to be just like Jesus, to be a man of faith and honor.

The 5 Pillars of Manhood..

1. LEAD
A man must be a leader in a relationship, in a marriage, in a family. There are no excuses. A woman doesn’t want to make the decisions for her man, she wants her man to lead in the relationship. A man must take initiative. A man of God is leader, not a follower, a servant, not a slave, a hero not a coward. A man of God knows God and therefore knows himself. He should be the leader spiritually first, emotionally, mentally and physically he should set the standard for others to follow.

2. PROTECT
A real man of God will protect his partner. That means he is willing to lay down his very own life, needs and wants for the protection of the one he loves. Every decision he makes when it comes to a relationship has her protection in mind. A woman needs to feel secure, that she is protected and safe with her man. She doesn’t need to second guess, wonder if she will be okay, or have her heart and mind played with. A real man of God will not only protect his woman physically, but also mentally, emotionally and spiritually. He always has the highest good in his mind for her safety, well being and wholeness.

This is for the Christian guys out there, don’t emotionally rape a sister, play with her heart and tell her you are just her brother or friend. That is BS. Man up. You either pursue a woman of God because she is God’s precious creation, or you don’t try touching it at all, or play with their hearts emotionally, unless you are willing to be up front and clear with your intentions and the direction of the relationship from the start. Emotional rape is as painful to a woman as physical rape. Women are emotional beings and their hearts are not to be played with. Protect your sisters heart.

3. PROVIDE
A real man of God will do whatever it takes to provide for his significant other. That means monetarily in finances, in basic needs and as well as what she desires. When a man asks a father for his daughter in marriage, the father will not ask, “How are you doing spiritually first?” No, the first thing the father will ask is, “How will you provide for my daughter?” Because part of being and becoming a man is providing for others, especially your wife and children. If a man can’t provide, he isn’t a man. God gave us hands and we must put our hands to work, no excuses to be lazy, God made us to rule the earth. Women are not be treated as toys, trophies or a luxury item, women are God’s highest creation, the very image of God.

I tell men all the time, “Treat your woman like a queen and you will live like a king.” Don’t be cheap brothers, you need to go all out when it comes to pursuing a woman. This is not a one time thing, but a continual practice. Women were created for beauty. They were created beautiful, to feel beautiful to be treated beautiful. You don’t handle a rose without care, it is the same with a woman of God, you treat her with the utmost care, honor and respect. Practically, that means you don’t take a woman to Denny’s on a first date, you take her to a place that hurts your wallet, but it’s worth it because she is worthy.

Also, men must also provide for women emotionally. When a women asks you, “How are you doing?” She is really asking, “How are you being?” Meaning, what are you feeling, thinking, seeing, being about at the moment. To love a women we must provide at every level – basic needs all the way to providing for them mentally, emotionally and spiritually, if not their hearts will die. Be a man, provide for your women.

4. INTEGRITY
A true man of God is a man of his word. Too many men in our culture break promises, play with women’s hearts, date girls as if it was a game, and have no respect for women at all. This is disgusting. In old times, when a man said “You have my word!” that word was bond, it was as if an actual contract had been written, because your word was your reputation. How many men do we know today who say one thing, but do another? Men who do not keep their word, their promise or follow through with their verbal commitments. In our culture we don’t take words seriously, but in God’s world words are everything. Blessings and curses come out of the same mouth. What comes out of our mouths determines what is truly in our hearts.

What a woman wants is a man of integrity. Someone who says what he does and does what he says. Someone they can trust at their word. So as a man you must come through. Words means nothing if they are not backed up with action. Don’t say sorry unless you mean it. Don’t say sorry unless you are able to back up your apologies with doing the right thing. Integrity is doing what is right, whether people are watching or not. Integrity is what you do when no one is looking. Does your woman trust you completely? If not, it is a question of integrity. Don’t tell a women you love her unless your love shows, words carry weight. They either carry false weight or real weight, a woman knows when a man means what he says.

So live by your words, live by action, be a living proof of your values, convictions and commitments. Don’t get involved in a relationship unless you are sure this what you want and what God is leading you both to do. I’ve had my share of mistakes in the past, where I got into a relationship without thinking about the consequences, protecting my sisters heart and the fear of the Lord from the get go, I’ve had to make amends and face the results of my sin and foolishness. Trust me brothers, don’t do what I’ve done in the past, don’t play games, don’t feed your fleshly desires, rather seek God, seek the best interest of the one you are pursuing, be honest, forthright from the start about your commitment and your vision for the relationship and stick to your word. Be a man of integrity.

If you pursue a women, it should be with the intentions of marriage. If not, stop playing yourself and her. It’s not about finding the right woman, it’s about being the right man. That starts with first knowing God in order to know yourself, then you will know how to love and respect a woman.

5. COURAGE
You are not a man until you climb the great wall of China! This is what it says at the actual great wall. Well, I have climbed the Great Wall of China so I guess I must be more of a man than others, just kidding. What is the greater underlying message here? It is a message of courage. It is a message of adventure. A man of God is a man of courage, a man of adventure, a man who is willing to take risks and do the impossible. Men were born to live a life of great adventure. Men were created to fight battles. Men were created to rescue beauties. Men were created to live.

Sadly, most men are not living. Most men are cowards, fearful and afraid of failure. Imprisoned by their own thinking and what others think about them. Many men are just boys waiting for their mother’s approval, or the approval of others in society. Most men I know are people pleasers, not God pleasers. They are more afraid of how others may reject them or not accept them if they choose to take the road less traveled.

All men die, few men truly live.

Women don’t want nice guys or good boys, women want men on a mission, men on adventure, men who are dangerous. This is why many women are drawn to bad boys because bad boys live with a sense of risk, danger, mystery and unknown. Men were created to live fearless and to live by faith. But if you walk into a church today what you find are a bunch of boys playing with their toys, working at predictable jobs — not their true callings, and living boring lives. It’s sad, but most guys get their sense of adventure from playing video games or watching TV, what happened to our men?

A man of faith will sweep a woman of God off of her feet. He will challenge her to go the distance in God, in their relationship and in life. A man of courage is someone who in the face of fear still chooses to move forward with trust in God, setting out to obey God’s voice at whatever the cost, because that is what matters the most. We need men who have hearts fully alive, hearts full of passion and are on a mission to change the world. There is a high cost to being a man of courage, there is a price to pay if we want to be a real hero, it means we are willing to go against the grain, follow God against all odds and live a life of honor, courage and righteousness.

When a woman finds a man of courage, it will encourage her to be all that God has created her to be. As a man, your goal is not how your woman can serve you, but how can you serve your woman? As a man, your goal is not how a woman can serve your destiny, but how can you do all that you possibly can to release the fullness of God’s glory and destiny in her.

Men take the lead, protect at all costs, provide in every way, live by your word and live a life of adventure with the Holy Spirit — obey God, not man and you will be the man of God you were created to be — and your woman will love you for it.

Everytime I read this, I am still amazed.
Feels like want to bold every sentence of it.
Remember, this is a man who wrote this not woman.
So for the guys out there, seek God's heart and become a man worth waiting for ;) And for woman, stay close with our King and becoming a woman worth fighting for!

5 Wisdom

1. If you are right, then there is no need to get angry.
And if you are wrong then you don't have any right to get angry.

2. Patience with family is love
Patience with others is respect.
Patience with self is confidence.

3. Never think hard about past, It brings tears.
Don't think more about future, It brings fears.
Live this moment with a smile, It brings cheers.

4. Every test in our life makes us bitter or better.
Every problem comes to make us or break us.
Choice is ours, whether we become victim or victorious.

5. Search a beautiful heart, not a beautiful face.
Beautiful things are not always good,
but good things are always beautiful.

Bitter or Better

Hola, selama ini blogku isinya cuma postingan dari cerita2 bagus yg aku suka banget dan yg aku kumpulin. Hehe. And now its time for me to share a bit about whats God have done in my life ;)

Masa2 kemaren ini aku lagi masa2 strugglenya, lagi berasa hidupku seperti di sinetron2 aja. (www.lebai.com) dari broke up, berenti kerja, choosing new school, dan pindah2 rumah! Ouch! But through all the circumstances, walau mau kaya sinetron I believe that my God is always on perfect control!

Okay, sekarang cerita tentang putus dulu (episode yg lainnya nyusul yah) dan gimana Tuhan bener2 pulihin hatiku..
Putusnya bisa di consider masih lumayan fresh from the oven x ya, sekitar 2bulan lalu. Saat itu aku bener2 ngerasa hancur hatiku. Bener2 gak nyangka aja, kaya geledek di siang bolong. Aku nangis 2hari nonstop, decrease 3kg in a weeks, off kerja for 2days, dan gak keluar kamar juga selama 2hari. Haha kalo dipikir2 toenk abis deh, tapi di saat itu jg aku tegesin ke diriku sendiri, I will get over him within a months only. I made a promise to my self, dalam sebulan uda harus bisa lupa harus bisa maavin and give him my prayer and my blessings. Though its not gonna be easy, walau sangat melawan hatiku, aku HARUS move on.

Bener2 struggle deh saat itu, dengan kerjaan segudang, pulang kerja jam 12malem terus. Uda emosi jiwa tingkat tinggi. Tapi I really thank God,
He reminds me that His love alone is more than enough!

Masa2 aku struggle dan roboh hatiku itu juga dimana Tuhan bener2 memeluk aku dan remind me again about my first love to Him. About His calling in my life. Yah to be honest, waktu pacaran dulu emang tetep ke greja, tetep komsel, pelayanan. Tapi yah God is not my top priority lagi, apa2 selalu dia, mau sms, mau telponan, mau ketemu, dsb. Fokusnya uda salah, and my relationship is not healthy relationship cause it doesn’t draw me near to God even more. Malah saling menyakiti sesama, ani yg ngambekan, ani yg moodyan, ani yg galak, ani yg egois. All its about me and me, I don’t know what true love really means. Love is about giving. Makin pacaran, makin redup apinya, untung gak sampai padam. Dan Tuhan tarik aku balik ke jalanNya, aku jadi inget lagi panggilan aku, kenapa aku ke greja, kenapa aku pelayanan and I really put my whole heart into it. For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable. And He Himself will make sure His calling will come to past.

Jadi bersyukur banget, walau dengan putus ini, dengan robohnya hati. Tuhan bener2 ngajarin banyak bangetttt.. and yeah within a month loh aku bangkit!! Its all because of HIM!! Emang jalannya tuh gak mulus, pagi hari aku miserable banget, trus sorenya oke. Selama sebulan itu aku jatuh bangun,masi kepo cari2 tau tentang dya, dan stalk his fb or whateva yg in the end malah bikin aku tambah roboh. Maju 5 langkah, mundur 30 langkah. Tapi aku tetap berdoa, support and prayer from all my friends juga ambil andil besar! Walau aku gak bisa jalan lagi, jatuh bangun sampe puluhan kali, sampe ngerangakak terseok2 pun aku akan terus maju!! Because God never give up on me, so why should give up on my self?!!

To cut my story short, gimana cara aku get over dalam waktu singkat? Padahal temen2 aku pada bilang mrka biasanya putus and recover dalem itungan 6months until 1year. Ada ketakutan di hatiku, gmn Tuhan kalau ani uda ga bisa bangkit lagi? Gimana kalau ani sedih2 terus? Gimana kalau ani takut pacaran lagi? Gimana kalau ani kepaitan dsb dsb dsb. Tapi I believe that my God is the God who makes all things new!

Aku sempet takut tidur loh, soalnya pas tidur selalu mimpi pas jaman2 aku pacaran sama dia, mimpi kita nonton Cinderella on ice, mimpi mainan sama doggie aku, mimpi dinner sama my family. Terus pas bangun aku harus terima kenyataan kan kalo aku uda putus dan semuanya uda selsai. Seminggu mimpi gitu terus, stress polllll. Terus anita tiba2 kasi blognya ci lia, eh pas banget sama keadaanku, baca disini deh. Jadilah sebelon tidur aku selalu tumpang tangan di kepala bagian belakang, serahin semua alam bawah sadarku ke tanganNya.. and taaadaaaa uda ga pernah mimpi lagi tuh. Pertolongan Tuhan tuh gile bener yah ajib dah, aku gak tau loh harus gimana and ngapain pas mimpi ini terus, eh anita kasi blog ci lia ini di waktu yg super tepat dan aku jadi tau aku harus doain alam bawah sadarku. Dan anita saat itu ga tau kalo aku lagi sering mimpi2 begini. Bener2 pekerjaan Tuhan deh. Thanks dearly anita dan ci lia ;)

And I take time to fast for 2 weeks. Puasa dari mikirin dya, puasa dari stalk2 fb, puasa dari semua pertanyaan yg going on in my mind. Dan fokus sama janji2 Tuhan, ini beberapa pertanyaan dan pikiran yg bikin aku struggle dan susah untuk move on dan apa yg Tuhan jawab \(»ˆ⌣ˆ«)/

Tuhan kenapa sih Tuhan kok ani diputusinnya super ga jelas alasannya? Kenapa tiba2 banget sih? Kaya diserbu banteng nih rasanya.
My precious child, things can change over night and you need to be ready. You need to make yourself always available for Me. Read Gen 22, Abraham was ready present his only child to Me. Son that he waited for 100years. How about you anie? Wheres your heart leading towards, through the bad moments, hard moments, hurt moments?

Tuhan tuh cowo otaknya apa sih kok bisa2nya lupain ani cepet banget and langsung chasing another girl? Tuh cewe juga cewe apaan coba?!
Matthew 7:1-5
Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

Tuhan ani ga tau nih sampe kapan ani mesti tahan, sesek bener nih rasanya huhu pengen maki2 dya rasanya..
Dear, I tell you not to forgive seven times but forgive seventy times seven nie. You always ask for My forgiveness, but is it not clear enough to you that I want you to forgive others so you will be forgiven too?

Ani ngerasa gak bakal bisa nemuin atau dapetin cowo kaya dya lagi, gimana kalau ani ga bakal temuin my prince charming? Sama dya uda enak banget loh, uda bareng2 3taonan huhu
My beloved, I know who is the best person for your life. I always work behind your scene. It is very painful thing to think that you are somebody else’s wife or girl friend. Or something that you are not meant to be. Its envy! Obey me, and I will be your God and you will be my people. Walk in all the ways I command you, that it may go well with you.

Tuhan ani takut kalau ntar Tuhan ketemuin ani lagi sama dya di masa depan. Moga2 jangan deh ya, choi3x (ketuk kayu pake kepala bukan pake tangan lagi). Atau ani juga takut kalau ntar ketemu dya sama cewe barunya, gimana tohhh
Anie, please remember your rhema.. 1philippians4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Kenapa sih harus putus? Bukannya ani selalu berdoa dan bawa hubungan ini ke dalam tanganMu? Kenapa dulu Tuhan ketemuin sama dya? Kenapa juga putusnya skr bukan dari dulu dulu aja pas belon sayang2 banget?
Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Tuhan, ani pengen banget loh tembakin dya biar dya tau rasa sakitnya gimana. Pengen banget kutuk2 dya, its so hard for me to forgive him oh Lord.
When I said, it is Mine to avenge, I will repay and do not let hatred occupy your heart so My love and My joy can overflowing in your life. Everything I said and I do is for your own good. You always asked me to teach you how to love others like I have loved you. Now it’s the time for you to practice it. When you know how to love, in the end of the day you will get love that you can never imagine.

Yah itulah beberapa pertanyaan yg terus2an berputar di kepalaku ketika masa2 aku struggle. Dan Tuhan mendengar semua teriakan2ku.. Bapa, I know that every tears that I cry is precious in Your eyes. I know that broken hearts broken life You can take them all. And God I consider that my present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in me.

Kesimpulannya, saya sangat berterima kasih karena putus ini ;) Enggak lagi melihat sebagai hal yg buruk tapi aku melihat bahwa tangan Tuhan sedang merenda suatu karya yang agung mulia ;) Mungkin ada sakit yang parah, ada air mata yg ga abis2, ada makanan basi yg ga dimakan. Tapi inget, bahagia itu adalah pilihan. Setiap kita jatuh, kita harus bangkit lagi. Many times I have been forced to my knees, realizing there was no other place to go.

Our natural response to suffering is to become bitter,
but God desires to use that every suffering to make you better.
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
1 Corinthians 10:13

So lets become better and better with God ;)

And special thanks to my family, my leaders, my mentors, my oikos friends, my LOG, my LOUD! people, my school friends, and his friends too for your time, your ear, your support and especially your prayer ;) You guys really made a big difference in my life.

The Other Side of The Bridge

The man prayed for help.
Then he saw God on the other side of the bridge.

This man called out to God and asked Him to come near,
but God refused to move.

The man got ANGRY.

With great difficulty,
he walked slowly,
shakily until reached the other side of the bridge.

He was about to question God why He didn't come near.
Words failed him.

He saw and realized..
That God was holding the other end of the bridge
securely to keep it from falling, until the man crossed safely.

The man was speechless,
but God was smiling at him and hugged him.

The father said,
"Child, I told you, I'm gonna keep you safe.
You won't fall. You just have to trust me.
Never will I leave You, Never will I forsake you."

TRUST GOD!
BELIEVE IN HIM.
DON'T GiVE UP, AND DONT LOSE HOPE,
BECAUSE HIS WAYS ARE AMAZING.

Pas baca cerita ini jadi inget satu lagu..
He will make a way, where there's seems to be no way.
He works in ways we can not see.
He will make a way for me.

Isaiah 55:8-9
8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Lukisan Yang Dicoret-coret

Suatu hari, ada seorang pelukis terkenal sedang menyelesaikan lukisannya.

Lukisan ini adalah lukisan yg sangat bagus dan
akan diperlihatkan pada saat pernikahan Putri Diana.

Sang pelukis sangat senang ketika menyelesaikan lukisannya.
Dia memandangi lukisannya yg berukuran 2x8 m,
sambil memandanginya pelukis tersebut tanpa disadari,
telah berjalan mundur..

Dan ketika berjalan mundur,
pelukis tersebut tidak melihat ke belakang.

Dia terus berjalan mundur dan mundur
hingga di belakangnya adalah ujung dari gedung yg tinggi sekali
dan tinggal satu langkah lagi dia akan mengakhiri hidupnya.

Salah seorang melihat pelukis tersebut
dan hendak berteriak untuk memperingatkan pelukis itu,
tapi tidak jadi..
karena dia berpikir mungkin ketika mendengar teriakannya,
pelukis itu akan kaget dan malah jatuh ke belakang.

Kemudian orang tsb mengambil kuas dan cat yg ada di depan lukisan,
lalu mencoret-coret lukisan tersebut sampai rusak.

Pelukis tersebut sangatlah marah dan maju hendak memukul orang tersebut,
tapi beberapa orang yang ada di situ menghadang dan
memperlihatkan posisi pelukis tadi yg nyaris jatuh.

Pesan Moral,
Kadang-kadang kita telah melukiskan masa depan kita dengan sangat bagus dan memimpikan suatu hari yg indah.

Tetapi lukisan itu 'kelihatannya' dirusak oleh ALLAH,
karena DIA melihat bahaya yg ada pada kita kalau kita melangkah.

Kadang-kadang kita marah, jengkel dan kecewa terhadap TUHAN.

Tapi perlu kita ketahui,
TUHAN selalu menyediakan yg terbaik untuk kita, anak²Nya.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to Him,
and He will make your paths straight.